Fear of marriage is more common than it looks, And its detrimental effects on the quality of life of those who suffer from it can be felt for years.
In this article, we’ll look at several tips on how to deal with the fear of marriage and not let it add a dose of anxiety to your life.
Fear of marriage: what to do?
Pre-wedding worries and nerves are very common, but they are always phenomena that have more to do with the ritual itself and the celebration of that special moment. however, beyond these episodes of slight discomfortThere are those who do not fear the wedding day itself, but married life, the phase of life that begins from this moment.
Before approaching the problem of the anguish experienced in the fear of marriage, however, it should be clear that this phenomenon does not have to be something that appears in isolation in each individual: social influence matters, and a lot.
To some extent, the fear of marriage can be based on social pressure. No one escapes the fact that there is still a strong “inertia” today which leads us to take for granted that marriage is part of a normally developed life, so that people of a certain age who do not make this connection are strange cases, sometimes even a cause of contempt or ridicule.
Thus, the fear of marriage can be the result of the discomfort of feeling “predestined” to go through the altar even if there is no real will to marry or lead a married life. Therefore, before considering whether the fear of marriage is itself the problem, we must pay attention to the context in which we liveKnowing if what makes us feel bad relates to the expectations others have placed on us.
Having said that, and taking for granted that this is a truly personal fear and not based on pressures from our social circle, we can now move on to counseling.
1. If you don’t have a partner …
There are people who are afraid of marriage even if they don’t have a partner. In these cases, what usually happens is that it’s the influence of the rest that makes us assume that there will come a day when we need to engage. What happens is that this influence does not have to be very obvious, and it can even come not from specific people (friends, family, neighbors …) but through the influence of the culture in which we live immersed.
Remember, if you don’t have a partner, it doesn’t make sense to be afraid of marriage. In practice, we need to adapt as much as possible to those situations that we are actually experiencing, and not to those that are imaginary or hypothetical. Whatever your situation, the fear of marriage will only give you extra worry that you just shouldn’t be here.
2. Don’t assume it will go wrong again
There are many emotions at play in the realm of love, which makes it relatively easy to have psychologically painful experiences. As a result, there are people who develop fear of emotional commitments, and fear of marriage is the clearest example of this type of bonding in which two people commit to looking after each other.
In these cases, it is good to change these beliefs because they create discomfort on the one hand and do not make us more realistic on the other hand. The latter is so because anyone’s love story is never so long as if to rely on a representative sample that allows us to get to know “people” in general. Each person is a world, and while it is true that there are psychological regularities, these cannot be known for the simple fact of having already had a dozen couples.
3. Examine the material conditions
It is possible that circumstances have brought the idea of marriage closer and closer that you don’t feel able to move on to this kind of life. But part of this concern may come from the fact that the lack of preparation is not psychological, but material.
If you do not have the financial stability that allows you to start married life safely, you must first tackle those issues which have to do with your living conditions, of course in constant dialogue with your partner. partner.
4. Analyze if this is a big qualitative leap
While getting married has symbolic and legal significance, it shouldn’t be a big change in the definition of the type of emotional compormiso that unites you to your partner. The ideal is to get married when you already experience a level of intimacy and commitment similar to that of married people. Otherwise, the fear that something is wrong can cause you to feel stress simply because of the uncertainty.
5. Adopt new forms of engagement
Finally, you should consider the possibility that if you are experiencing fear of marriage, it is due to the fact that does not have enough preparation to live as a couple continuously. In that case, take seriously the task of learning those habits that life requires.