Experiencing impossible love is one of the most frustrating and painful feelings through which the human being can pass. While the right love can make you extremely happy, an impossible love can turn your life into a real ordeal, especially if you meet that person often, at work or at the gym.
The pain of impossible love can be so strong that it can lead you to a depressed state if you don’t change a series of habits that take a toll on your emotional balance. In this article, you can find some tips to overcome impossible love and get out of this bad situation.
The chemistry of falling in love
Falling in love is a complex phenomenon in which biological and cultural variables are present. When we feel an attraction to someone, our brains change and a series of chemical reactions take place inside, especially in the area of reinforcement, which causes us to change our perception of the world. The chemistry of love or falling in love alienates us, distracts our attention, obsesses us and can become depressing if we cannot consume such a strong feeling or impulse and we can turn our life into a living hell.
The love consumed makes us feel good because it forces our brains to release dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin among other neurotransmitters and hormones, so we feel energized, full of energy and our perception of life is wonderful when we are with our partner.
But when it is not possible to have that person with whom we so long to be with us, the chemical cascade descends and causes serious problems for our emotional stability. For example, serotonin levels decrease, which is associated with depressive and obsessive behaviors, just like it happens when we stop using a drug we are addicted to.
- To find out more: “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”.
The Romeo and Juliet effect
It would be perfect if we fell in love and just let our hearts run free, Because the love consumed makes us live unforgettable moments. Unfortunately, relationships aren’t always that straightforward, and in some cases, conflict can lead us to end up with the loving commitment we’ve had with whom we considered to be the most important person in our lives.
At other times, love is simply impossible because the other party has a partner or is going to live on the other side of the world, which makes that love impractical and unachievable. The truth is, for whatever reason, impossible love can hurt us if we don’t adopt a series of strategies that allow us to cope with this situation in the best possible way.
Experts claim that when we feel the feeling of falling in love and cannot be with that person, what is called the “Romeo and Juliet effect” occurs, and far from disappearing, feelings of desire, desire, the urge and the need to be with the loved one increases. This is also called “frustration attraction”, and this is why secret loves are so successful. Apparently, the Romeo and Juliet effect makes the secret of a relationship act like an aphrodisiac.
Tips for overcoming an impossible love
And it is that the lack of love is not a linear process, but there are ups and downs. You might feel better for a week, but when you see that person again or come into contact with them again, you break down again. Impossible love can be a painful situation and therefore can negatively affect your well-being and mental health.
You are probably wondering, “What can I do in these cases?” You will find the answer to this question if you continue to read the following lines, where delves into a number of tips to overcome impossible love. So be careful, because your emotional stability is at stake.
In any process of lack of love, if what you want to forget, you must stop being in contact with your love object.. Every time you see this person (or remember them), your brain reinforcement circuitry is activated, again triggering the neurochemical cascade of falling in love.
In reality, love acts almost like a drug, which means that we tend to detect aspects of the present that remind us of that person all the time, even if they seem to have nothing to do with it. A lot of the things that we perceive bring back to us these memories, based on real or imagined facts, and in this way we start to get frustrated that we can’t go back to this time in which we have not experienced the pain of loss. We must therefore fight against this vicious circle by avoiding “exposing ourselves” to this person.
It doesn’t mean that you can never see again, but the brain circuitry has to be weakened, and that’s why it takes more or less time for this to happen. The time needed depends on many factors: your self-esteem, the social support you have, your past experiences, etc. So go patiently, because it can go a long way, even if the level of serenity achieved is worth it.
2. Accept it
This kind of love is, as the name suggests, impossible. It’s not easy to come to terms with this, but even though this statement sounds harsh, it is a part of life. Surely you cannot prevent impossible love from hurting you, but what is up to you is your attitude to this phenomenon and how long you want to stay grounded in suffering. To move forward and overcome it, you have to accept it, otherwise you will only avoid facing reality.
3. Explain it to someone
If you feel like you’re having a hard time getting over it and pain has taken over your life, you don’t have to keep it to yourself. Obviously you don’t need to keep singing – to the four windsBut you can tell a good friend to be supportive and there for you through the toughest of times. This will help release some of the pain and allow you to have someone you trust.
4. Go on with your life and love yourself
It is important that you are not obsessed and paralyzed. To overcome this situation, you must move forward with your life, set goals for yourself that match your own desires, and strive to achieve your goals. You have to make sense of your life, because if you are unhappy with yourself and don’t fight for it, you will hardly be able to overcome it.
To do this, you even have to do things that you don’t like, but know that in the long run you’ll be fine, like socializing more, exercising, etc. The idea is to continue.
5. Seek psychological help
In some cases, the person who feels an impossible love sinks, Come to live situations that are truly paralyzing and problematic for their health and quality of life. There may be, for example, a problem with self-esteem or a lack of basic social skills, which does not make it possible to get out of this emotionally tiring situation.
If you have tried to overcome it on your own and find that you are not making progress, you may need to undergo psychological therapy, so that a mental health professional can give you the opportunity to learn and to develop different tools to improve your property. -being.