If there is anything clear about love, it is that sometimes interpreting our emotions is as or more complicated than playing at guessing what the person we are with is feeling. The human mind is complex and full of nuances, so for example, you don’t always know what you want.
In the case of love, this is especially true, and it is not necessarily bad, but when the relationship is badly damaged, this inability to appreciate what is really going on is counterproductive, because by inertia we tend to continue doing the usual. Below we will see several guidelines on how to know when a relationship is over.
How to know when the relationship is over
Not knowing how to recognize your own emotions is especially problematic in relationships, as inconsistencies and unpredictability in terms of goals and mutual motivations can strain commitments. Some level of tension is relatively normal in any relationship, but when it comes to a tipping point, it’s important to know it’s best to reduce.
Because of the myth that love always involves suffering and sacrifice for the other, there are those who, no matter what, they don’t even consider cutting and starting over autonomously, letting go of the other person. But it’s not: Life is short, and there’s no reason to stake everything on one specific relationship, indefinitely.
In the following lines you will find various aids to recognize where the limit of what is acceptable is. However, keep in mind that one of them doesn’t have to be met to have the legitimacy to cut. Each person is free to end a relationship if they feel it is better, for whatever reason.
1. Assess whether there is physical or psychological abuse
This is the first aspect to consider, as abuse is a very clear red line. However, among victims of abuse, it is common for them not to acknowledge or even justify their situation, unless they stop to think carefully about what is going on. In this sense, psychological violence can be problematic because it is sometimes a little ambiguous or requires a particular context to be.
2. Ask yourself if there is enough physical contact
Affection and love are not expressed only in words, but also in the sense of touch. However, in couples where there is no longer love, this type of interaction is no longer a common habit.
3. Think about how much you care about “what they are going to say”
Some people stay with their partner simply because severing the relationship would have a negative impact on the people around them. Group pressure is surprisingly powerfulAnd this works indirectly, even if no one has done anything that suggests pressure, simply from our expectations and what we imagine will happen if we return to celibacy.
This is why it is worth stopping to think about whether, in the present, one of the main reasons why the relationship continues to exist is the desire to please others, to give them a benevolent image of us. themselves. After all, one of the more straightforward solutions to the problem of whether the relationship is over is to see if it is only nurtured by others and not by ourselves.
4. Evaluate the frequency and intensity of the fights
This is perhaps one of the most popular methods for people looking to find out whether or not it makes sense to continue in a relationship, and it’s easy to see why. The fights are crisis with a relatively clear start and end, And that is why it is easy to distinguish them from what is considered to be normal.
It’s true that strong discussions indicate tension and confrontation, but don’t let them fully capitalize on your conception of what a failed relationship is. As we can see, there are many other phenomena which denote problems of relational dynamics but which, being more discreet, can be neglected.
5. Are the basic covenants broken?
In every relationship, there is a minimum level of commitment, as long as there is a complaint that lasts beyond a few weeks or months. This is why it is important to ensure that they are respected; it is a sign of the importance that each person places on being in a relationship with each other.
6. Evaluate if you can talk about how you are feeling with your partner.
By definition, a relationship should be a two-way communication link. It is not possible to have a partner and not being able to express important things to him that we would like you to know, As long as it goes through their attitudes, because it means that the other person does not have the capacity to adapt to variations in how we feel, or even to comfort us in difficult times.
A relationship in which only the “facade”, which one seems to feel, is considered incredibly poor.
7. The other person has left us
It may sound silly, however not everyone recognizes when their partner ends the relationship. They assume it’s a joke, a strategy to create pressure, or a way to get revenge. But that’s not the case: when the other person is little, what happens is exactly what it seems, and we have no right to show that we haven’t found out or to take action. as if we knew better than the other what he wants. of the truth.