Ending a relationship is always a little tricky, but it’s not just when you cut it off. Asking whether we should end this stage in our life that we have shared with another person can be just as difficult. And is indecision a real source of stress and anxiety.
In this article, we’ll look at several things to keep in mind for know if it’s time to let go of your partner and return to celibacy.
The art of knowing when to let go of your partner
In most cases, when marital or couple seizures do occur, they do not come on suddenly and clearly. If that were the case, the situation would be very difficult, but at least everything would be clearer. What happens, however, is that problems and conflicts gradually accumulate, Make the discomfort entrenched and more and more difficult to manage.
No wonder this is the norm. When faced with delicate but vague and complex situations to understand, we tend to cling to the hope that everything will work out on its own; that is, an avoidant situation is adopted in the face of the problem.
Closing our eyes and pretending that nothing is happening may seem unreasonable, but when it comes to experiencing these cases in our own flesh, it is usually a very attractive option. If the present gives us the chance not to go through a very bad time, we often opt for it, even though we know that it may cause us to suffer more in the future. And that, of course, it also happens with romantic relationships.
But if we hone our ability to detect those points in the relationship where there is no turning back and everything indicates that the chances of everything getting better are very low, we will be encouraged to make the right decision in this. case: end the relationship so as not to suffer anymore. Let’s take a look at some clues to see if this situation has been reached.
1. Signs of abuse
This is obviously the most important aspect when evaluating the minimum quality requirements of a relationship. If insults, physical assault, or other forms of emotional abuse (like gaslighting) become the norm, the relationship has no reason to exist, as in fact it does not, but a bond based on the denigration of the other or even the threat of their own integrity. Love and that kind of treatment are incompatible.
Although centuries of normalization of violence against women and romantic love based on sacrifice have meant that in some cases it is not “automatic” to recognize abuse when it is suffered. , it is possible if some red lines are taken into account. That cannot be overcome, such as constant contempt, ridicule, slurs or the threat of physical injury or pain.
In this case, it is therefore not a question of letting go of the couple, but of acting accordingly in the face of the fact that we do not have a de facto partner, but an aggressor.
2. Just fear what they will say before the breakup
If, while thinking of breaking up, the first concern that comes to mind is what they are going to say, it is a symptom that there are strong reasons to end this court or marriage. After all, the envelope of a relationship doesn’t make it exist or doesn’t make sense.
3. You have been feeling bad for a long time
When a part of us feels that we are still in the relationship out of sheer inertia, it is normal for feelings of guilt to arise, especially when making plans for the future, because over time, more commitments. are taken. on the one hand, and on the other hand pretending to look normal, cheating on the other person.
In this case we can consider that there is manipulation, and the fact that for fear of breaking the heart of the other person exposing the situation does not justify that this one lives deceived, option which ends up causing a lot of pain to the people. two parts.
4. There is a dominance situation
Relationships in which there is a clear power asymmetry in the roles that each person takes on don’t necessarily have to be a form of abuse, but they are still toxic relationships.
Indeed, the habit of always being the person who decides and the person himself who adapts to these situations can quickly lead to abuse. In the end, this normalizes the idea that it is one who has the criteria and another who must obey orders (even if at the beginning you simply accept to have a passive role so as not to have to work too hard). .
5. The other person specifies it
It doesn’t matter how much it hurts us; if the other person wants to end the relationship, it must be clear that there is nothing to discuss or negotiate. the obsessive ideas about what can be done to get the couple back they are common in some cases, but we should not let them dominate us.