a lot of times we live romantic relationships like fairy tales that they can only have one happy ending. Of course, this belief makes having someone by our side a smoother experience, but at a very high price.
And when things aren’t going well, the frustration can be overwhelming: finding out that you don’t get along with someone is as confusing as it is discomfort, because we just don’t understand the relationship, as we do. knew her until now., no longer has a reason to exist.
This is why it often happens that the simple task of figure out how to let someone become a trap that paralyzes us without being able to enjoy the love life and without being able to free ourselves from this relationship.
When love isn’t what it used to be and anxiety grows
Making the decision to end a relationship is always difficult, especially if the trajectory of it is long, several years. Plus, one of the most painful aspects of breaking up is the fact that it’s a unilateral decision: Everything depends on oneself, and the consequences of this decision, if they are very bad, will weigh on his conscience.
It’s this fear and expectation of potential failure which forces many people to get stuck in the face of the uncertainty of not knowing how to leave someone. Anticipatory anxiety makes the discomfort almost comparable to what happens during and immediately after the breakup, but unlike what would happen in this second scenario, the problem persists and becomes chronic.
The fear of “throwing yourself”, the guilt and pity that produces sadness in the other person, not knowing what the day will be like without the routine of being on that lover’s or lover’s side … all of this makes things very easy procrastinating, not taking the first step, prolonging the discomfort.
Managing the relationship crisis: how to leave someone
Again a breakup is always an anxiety-provoking experience and discomfort, these feelings must be managed so that the crisis does not take hold. Getting from the idea to the fact correctly is important to get through the disruption phase as well as possible.
Here are the main guidelines for be clear on how to leave someone without the people involved suffering more than expected:
1. Give clues
The best-managed break-ups are those that are understood, that is to say those that we can integrate well into the knowledge we have about the relationship in which we are. This also applies, of course, to the person who is “left behind”. It is very important that you understand what is going onAnd so you have to know that your partner is not feeling good about the relationship, that this information does not come suddenly at the time of the breakup.
So when it comes to leaving someone, you already have a lot to gain by simply expressing genuinely the discomfort you are feeling. This sets precedents which, in retrospect, help to understand what happened.
2. Choose a quiet and secluded place
It is very important that in breaking up the relationship the people involved can express their feelings without being repressed in order to find themselves in a social context. Choosing a bar or restaurant as a place to do this is a very bad idea precisely because of this: shame and fear of attracting attention they add to the stress that the situation itself generates.
3. Don’t skimp on time
Something so important deserves to be well explained and detailed. This is why it is good not to give information in just one or two sentences; better to have a mini-script ready with the main ideas to say and their order (literally not memorizing any text).
4. Make the message clear
On the other hand, it is important that the main point of the meeting, the rupture, be communicated clearly and directly, Without using poetic formulas or constant ar funnels without reaching the subject in question.
5. Don’t blame anyone
Attributing the failure of a relationship to leaving someone is not recommended, even if the blame is on yourself. If we blame the other person, we make the other person suffer more from the account and, on top of that, you will not be able to learn a valuable lesson be happier in the future with other people, because this information will not be analyzed as if it were a bit of what a useful conclusion can be drawn; it will simply be seen as an attack, because of the context already how difficult it is to reason in situations like this.
Also, if it is said to be your fault, it is very possible that this will be interpreted as an excuse not to have to argue, which, of course, is not fair either.
Some people think that after having communicated their intention to break up, it is advisable to act at a distance so that the interlocutor does not get “confused” and instantly assume his new role. It’s a mistake and, in fact, it’s such a defensive attitude that it reveals its own insecurities.
After leaving someone, we need to let our sense of helping others act spontaneously when it comes to comforts the ex-partner, if she needs it. A hug, a few kind words, and staying by their side for a while is a good idea, unless the person is saying otherwise or showing signs of emotional depression. However, offering help is never too much.
Consider the possibility of giving yourself some time
Often times, leaving someone is not a decision we are sure of. Love is a very complex feelingAnd some crises can be due to circumstantial factors that have nothing to do with what it is for us to be with a certain person.
In these cases, instead of communicating a final break, you may choose to give yourself some time. Part of it is also about leaving someone, but leaving a door open to the possibility of returning, and therefore the blow is less. However, it is not necessary to decide on this option just to please the other person; it must be something that really interests both parties.