I can’t leave my partner: anxiety for fear of breaking up

Unfortunately, the problem of not dealing with the desire to cut a relationship because of the fear this idea gives. If this happens to you, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone and that many more people are suffering from false love.

In this article I want to tell you about this dependent love, that we live towards someone that we cannot leave because he treats us well, he is a beautiful person, but unfortunately we are not strong enough to realize this separation for reasons which we will see more enter.

    Dependent love: characteristics of this problem

    The causes of this phenomenon are various. For example, this happens in cases where our partner fails in one area of ​​the relationship (sex) but in the other encounter (leisure), or we simply feel accompanied by him / her.

    If something like this happens to you, read on for some behavioral guidelines, but first let’s take a look at several key ideas for making the right decision as fair as possible and, if necessary, taking the plunge.

    The value of honesty in relationships

    Pretend that love is neither good, nor real, nor by far a good investment. Love, you have to feel it. Of course, that evolves and you aren’t going to feel the same after three years of dating that after a month we shouldn’t be fooled. When I talk about investing, it is when you tell yourself that you are going to give yourself more time, because you may be going through a bad race; it is surely not accidental and you take to give yourself all over again (which should be fine for the year). Don’t be fooled and stop stretching the inalargable.

      Possible causes

      Patients I have spoken to about this problem always tell me that they are with another person who does not completely satisfy them for one of these reasons:

      • Commitment: We have a lot in common, like the mortgage, the children … or even big, secure plans for the future.
      • Fear later: if I leave him with my partner, I will have to go home with my parents.
      • Comfort: for now with this person I have peace of mind, even though I don’t feel anything for them and we haven’t slept for three months.
      • Live with tomorrow in mind: today I am with my partner, but as soon as I find another partner, I leave her.

      Before leaving our current partner, it is important that we do a good analysis of why we are with him.. Note that many times we have convinced ourselves and molded ourselves to a reality which is very false; the reasons set out above make us convinced that we are in the most logical way, but this is nothing more than a patch on something that will sooner or later take its toll.

      It is important to be aware that being in a relationship involves a series of feelings or ideas that arise in healthy romantic relationships that look like this:

      • Like.
      • Joy.
      • Commitment.
      • Predilection.
      • Devotion.

      Key questions to guide

      Sometimes it is very difficult to think that the other person could have done a lot for us, or that, for example, if we leave them, we will be left alone. Faced with this, you have to be yourself several questions to start:

      • Do I have a past breakup that is loading me into my current relationship and I haven’t gotten over it? Many times this is done “from one shot to another”, and that’s a big mistake.
      • How long can I last? Imagine a life making you feel something you don’t want.
      • Do I link my current situation (seeing living in a city for study) to being with this person for entertainment? Sometimes, selfishly, we think if we let that person run out of plans on the weekends and get bored a lot.
      • Is it better to stay as a hypocrite or as a human visitor? Ask yourself this question and maybe it will help you too. Pretending will only help you create a fake relationship.

      In conclusion, these types of behaviors will only help us create false relationships.Since sooner or later such couples end up in infidelities, and ending a relationship after this problem is quite difficult and unpleasant, so it is better to put a solution as soon as possible.

      Do you need the help of a specialist?

      My name is Javier Ares, I am a health psychologist, And I help people with their dating problems. If you wish, we can have an online consultation from the comfort of your home. I offer a wide schedule.

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