Love is one of the most rewarding experiences that human beings can live. Finding that person who understands you, who gives you their best to make you happy, and who thinks about you day and night is truly amazing.
However, not all romantic relationships end well, and when love ends, there is usually always one of the two who feels that they have lost part of their soul. Her heart is broken, and she arrives at an apparent dead end: “I miss my ex-partner”, a sentence that sums up the contradiction in which she lives immersed.
I want to go back to my ex, but …
If you identify with what you have just read and feel a great urge to come back with your ex-partner, in the following lines you will find some keys that will help you understand the reasons why you should continue to fight for this. love. or let it go forever.
Now, first of all, keep in mind that it is not just up to you to decide what to get or not to collect. that’s why the goal should be to work to feel good about yourselfIt doesn’t matter if you reform a stable couple with this person. It is important and you have to understand it. To do this, you need to work on yourself and not force a possible turn. You must be missing your ex-partner as well.
Also, getting back with your ex is not always possible, because if the relationship has broken down in a traumatic way, there is less chance of reconciling. The sooner you come to terms with this reality, the less pain and dependence you will feel on the other person.
Why do I keep thinking about him or her?
It is also important to know that this feeling of wanting to find your ex is quite normal. In fact, when a relationship ends there is always the need to know the other person, Even if we are the ones who left it. Our mind works this way because we have become accustomed to his presence, to the memories of his smiles, to his smell, to his voice … we associate everything with his person.
That’s why if ex-boyfriends keep in touch, they often try over and over again. As Jonathan Garcia-Allen says in his article “The Chemistry of Love: A Very Powerful Drug,” love is like a drug and must be detached from the other person when a relationship ends.
The pain of love is one of the most painful phenomena that human beings can go through and it is something that we have all had to experience. Overcoming the lack of love takes time.
Lack of love hurts like physical pain
There are many who return in search of this person because they don’t have enough strength to move forward alone. Like I said, it makes sense to want to reconnect with this person we’ve shared so many times with (some bad, but also a lot of good).
Living the desire to get back with your ex doesn’t weaken youAs emotional pain hurts like physical pain. In fact, scientific studies of neuroimaging have shown that the regions involved in treating physical pain overlap with those related to emotional pain and social distress, as a 2013 Jaffe study concluded.
I miss my ex: what can I do?
As you can see, it makes sense to think about your ex and hurt yourself. We have all felt this and you are no different from others. But to the question “I’m thinking about my ex … what can I do?”, The answer is complicated. Because? Because they are influenced by many factors and every situation is different.
First you need to assess the reason for the breakup (Try to do this in the most objective way possible and, if necessary, seek a second opinion) and then you have to ask yourself if it is really healthy to return with this person. Sometimes the desire to come back is conditioned by your low self-esteem, fear of being alone, or emotional addiction.
You should also keep in mind that this is not the same as a relationship broken by a simple fight as because there has been infidelity or disrespect since the start of the court. As to what you should and shouldn’t do, that answer should go according to the situation.
Having valued him, then you need to decide whether or not you want to continue fighting for worthy love, taking into account at the same time the predisposition of the other person: if he clearly indicates that he does not wish to re-contact, this must be respected.
The answer: work on yourself
Now, yes, there is something you need to do when thinking about your ex. First of all it is accept that relationships can break down, And second, strive for your own personal development. In other words, all you can do now is focus on who loves you the most – yourself. You have to fight to develop as a person, to know yourself better, to know your motivations and needs and above all to act to achieve your goals.
It often happens that when a relationship ends, after spending so much time with another person, you have to regain your autonomy and learn to be alone.
It is not good to rush because it is a time that can help you grow and develop as a person. Investing in yourself is the best way for the other to focus on you again. Your goal, however, shouldn’t be this, but to become who you really want to be. If the other person decides to complete you, welcome.
Pros and cons of getting back with your ex
If after working on yourself and feeling good about yourself you still think you want to get back with your ex, you need to be clear that getting back with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend has a certain number of goals. ‘advantages and disadvantages.
The benefits of getting back with your ex are:
- You already know him – it may have gotten worse over the past few months, but you know this person because you have shared so many moments with them.
- You know he loved you: often the relationship is broken by different conflicts, but the feeling is still alive between you. If the cause of the breakup wasn’t very traumatic, you might not have a chance to save this amazing feeling.
- You can learn from your mistakes: Conflicts, if resolved in a mature manner, can be a great opportunity to develop.
- You can be more united: if you manage to overcome these conflicts, the union between you can be even greater.
- It can be good if there are kids in the middle – especially if you have kids they can benefit from your return. As long as the conflicts are resolved.
- You feel the urge to try it: you get the thorn stuck and you can try again. Maybe this time it will work.
the disadvantages to get back with your ex are:
- It may not be the same anymore: the damage can be so great that the connection between you has been lost. And also respect.
- Close the doors to something new: Stubbornness in getting back with an ex can make you not know other interesting people who could bring you more.
- It keeps you from developing yourself: going back and forth with that person over and over again takes time away from yourself and doesn’t let you get out of this vicious cycle.
- There can be great resentment: if you broke up several times, resentment builds up.
- The damage may increase: If resentment increases, the relationship between you may also become worse than it was.
If you want to dig deeper into these advantages and disadvantages, you can do so in our article: “6 problems and 6 advantages of getting back with your ex-partner”