We live in a time of continuous change for which we can sometimes be overwhelmed, As we have failed to adapt to it. This is reflected in the people closest to us not only coworkers or friends but also our closest people and sometimes by having more trust it leads the worst of us to the end of the day. . For example, our partner.
Faced with this phenomenon, I wrote an article with a series of questions that must be asked to work on the problems that arise; I’ll walk you through how to start changing your dating situation.
Overcoming a couple’s main problems: questions to ask yourself
In our relationships we are categorized on the basis of three focal points or points of attention who are those who control the future of this emotional bond. These are:
- What do we focus our attention on when we look at our partner.
- The decisions we make about what our partner means to us.
- The goals we have as a couple and how we approach them to achieve them.
These are the pillars of a relationship. The way you treat them will ensure that this bond enjoys good health. What determines what will become is not what is happening now, what matters are your decisions about where to focus your attention.
The phases of truth
We often argue and find it hard to accept the truth about things we have done wrong. Has it ever occurred to you that you find something on your partner’s face that she doesn’t accept it’s true? Even if you know it is, after talking more about it you can surely come to that deal, but it will cost you dearly.
You might be wondering why, and besides the fact that your partner might be a checkered person, I would like to tell you about the three stages that the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer set out in his time, in which he explains what all truth goes through three phases:
- First, he is ridiculed.
- Second, it faces violent opposition.
- Finally, it is accepted as obvious.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at the important point that concerns us now, the questions we need to ask ourselves so that we can focus our attention in order to get obtain logical solutions to the problems of our partnersWith them, we will have a point to change and we can work to resolve them.
Questions from which to strengthen a relationship in crisis
I would like you to take advantage of these questions, sit down together and think about it, I have no formed opinion and argumentation.
1. How will we end up if we don’t change?
The answer is clear. You are going to break your union and all that that entails.
2. What will we lose as a couple if we don’t make this change?
a reflection on the opportunity cost of certain decisions.
3. What costs us mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and / or spiritually?
These discussions and friction create a bad atmosphere. I always believe that energy, whether positive or negative, fluctuates and becomes, which is why we have to realize that a bad discussion today unresolved can turn into a bad situation tomorrow, when we are on vacation and that’s why it produces an imbalance. in us that will make our existence bitter.
4. How would our family and friends feel about us ending our relationship?
The relationship influences and is also influenced by the immediate environment; we must be aware of this interrelation.
The positive aspects of change
With the questions above, you have already seen what the negative consequences would be of not changing in the right direction. See I would like you to look at issues related to pleasure, in order to relate positive ideas to change.. For that, I would also like you to take the opportunity to talk about it.
- If we change and make decisions, how will that help us feel as a couple?
- How will this affect our daily life?
- What could we achieve as a couple if we change this bad atmosphere?
- What would our day be like if we implemented the changes we want to make?
The key is in look for compelling reasons to support the change you want to makeKnow that you are both wrong in your behavior and especially that you are not the judges of each other, but your life partner, and that life is a constant change and learning. This is why we must adapt to the times to come and above all give the best of ourselves on a daily basis.
Couple problems? I help you
If you are interested or interested in improving your relationship and have external help from a specialist for advice, please do not hesitate to contact me. We can start the sessions without leaving the house and at a price adapted to the schedules.
My name is Javier Ares, I am a psychologist in general health and participate in the provision of my services to patients suffering from anxiety and depression problems, my specialty is also couples therapy. With my help, you will be able to resolve the complications of living together and regain the stability and happiness that made you live together.
If you like it, we can start working on you, so don’t hesitate through this page.