Mature love: why is the second love better than the first?

Many films, songs or novels are inspired by love, this feeling so intense that it is able to leave us with sensations and feelings that are difficult to forget.

Mature loves and early loves

Throughout our lives sometimes we can fall in love, and sometimes even people fall in love several times. But first love can be such intense love that madness can take hold of us. Now, having come to our senses, the experience of this failed first love can allow us to experience the next love in a different way; in a more mature way.

The idea that first love is the one and most important thing in our lives is a misconception. First love can be unforgettable, but that doesn’t mean it’s the love of our lives. You also want to learn, and for a relationship to work, you also need to learn how to make it work.. If you just left him with your partner and feel like you’ll never fall in love with such intensity again, don’t despair. You can love again and you can love better.

    Love ends too

    First love comes to us almost without realizing it, it invades us, and when we realize it, we are so absorbed in it that getting out is not an easy task. If first love ends, touching the ground again, with reality, is tricky. Lovelessness is a process that can take a long time for some people, especially first love. Because the lack of experience in overcoming these types of ups and downs can lead some people to depression.

    Those who have come here know that you can leave the sadness behind and regain the motivation to live, but it takes time. Getting back to normal is a process, and when we are about to leave everything that we have been through behind us, many memories strike us. Certainly, it is not at all easy to accept that the situation is over, that the other person, the one we loved so much for the first time, will rebuild their life without us and all that they have been through will be left behind. for account. never come back **. Therefore, to overcome the lack of love, it is necessary to overcome a series of stages of grief **.

    • If you want to know more about the stages of lack of love, visit our article: “The 5 phases to overcome the grief of a breakup”

    After the first love … the existential crisis arrives

    From an early age, culture shapes the way we think. Our vision of love is therefore influenced by it. We think love is like in the movies which is not true. When first love ends, it’s time to re-educate yourself, it’s time to be realistic and leave behind irrational thoughts that can hurt us a lot.

    And of course, re-educating involves breaking with old mental patterns.. When we realize that our way of thinking is no longer working, we may experience an existential crisis. The existential crisis darkens us and makes us feel that we do not know which way to go. It can be very mentally draining and cause emotional problems. At least until we meet to come back to the surface.

    At this stage of growth, we end up looking for a new life in which a new love affair can grow in importance. To do this, we must learn from the past and reconnect with ourselves. This is when we can reopen our hearts to love falling in love again.

    Related article: “Existential Crisis: When We Find No Meaning in Our Lives”

    Give way to mature love

    Fortunately, humans have a great adaptability and we can learn from past experiences. First love is usually irrational love in most cases (but not always). And while it is often an extremely rewarding experience from the start, the pain it leaves behind can be one of the most unpleasant situations we have to experience in this life. But like any existential crisis, learning from this experience can make us grow tremendously as people and can allow us to discover mature love.

    Mature love is what lasts, for although the flame of irrational love can be very intense, it dissolves into its own fire. Mature love is love that thrives on understanding, Respect from both members of the couple. The mature romantic relationship is free and is based on communication and negotiation. This love is not born, it is built over time and it is taken care of. It lasts because it’s the real thing.

    Want more advice on how to make your relationship work? In our article “The 7 Keys to a Healthy Relationship”, you will find all the information you need.

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