“My ex has blocked me from all sides” – possible causes and advice

Couple breaks are never easy. Many times you try to end the relationship in a mature and rational way, trying to close in the least hurtful way the end of an entire era of affection. Others, on the other hand, the breakup is aggressive, leaving a lot to discuss and fix.

The normal thing is that when breaking, you have to wait for the tension to pass, for the break to be overcome. It may not have been by mutual agreement and there is always one of the two eager to come back which may not happen.

The other party, who may feel watched or just want to cut it dry, decides to cut off all communication, blocking their ex’s profile on any social account. Many, many see it on the day or days after it broke up and think: “My ex blocked me from all sides, why?” Here we will explore this topic.

    “My ex blocked me from all sides”: social media and couples

    Social media has invaded all aspects of our lives and, as expected, they have acquired a primordial importance in couple relationships: The photos dating the two together on Instagram and Facebook, the comments on both Twitter profiles and, of course, the long WhatsApp conversations are samples, empirical facts, that between two people there was once an intimate relationship, d ‘love.

    But just as these social networks have made interpersonal communication easier, serving as a way to let the world know that you are also dating a boy or girl. they encouraged supervisory and controlling behaviors. These behaviors can sometimes reach such toxic levels that they are detrimental both to the mental health of the monitor and the supervisee, in particular because they feel insecure. It is very difficult to avoid the temptation to monitor the status of Facebook or Instagram photos where the ex-partner is tagged, but everything has a limit.

    It should be noted that these behaviors vary depending on who has been who has broken up and who has been left behind, as well as the type of attachment they may have. A person with avoidance tendencies may, after the breakup, minimize contact with the ex-partner. Others, with an ambivalent or anxious inclination, may present great concern for the other, which results in higher levels of stress and behaviors more aimed at trying to find him, sometimes rubbing persecution and l obsession with trying to make contact. , Anyway.

    My ex completely eliminated me

    It’s normal that after we break up, we can’t resist the temptation to find out what the other person is doing. If we still have an open path, whether it is a social network, a common contact or whatever, it is normal to try to obtain information, even if it is scarce. Almost everyone, after breaking up, tries to figure out what their ex looks like, what she does, and who she does it with.. Indeed, you cannot so easily forget someone with whom you have shared so much.

    Even though the two have agreed not to speak to each other, or one of them has decided to remove the word from the other, still being on the contact list or as a friend on a social network the elders serves as a bridge to maintain communication, even if it is not planned. This is a problem, especially if, unintentionally, we see what weighs our or our ex in the welcome window. While we promised not to chat on his profile, the fact that he posts things makes us see them passively.

    Overcoming a breakup doesn’t mean completely forgetting our ex, As long as the relationship was healthy and free from abuse. After all, the person we just broke up with has been part of our life, we have shared many pleasant experiences with them, and we have invited them into our most intimate world. However, if we want to leave behind the tension of the breakup, the sadness and anger it caused us, and try to rebuild our love life, both going to a new partner and single, it is best to ‘Avoid photos and comments from our ex.

    If curiosity, that is, gossip over photos of our ex, is a barrier to coming out of the breakup period, it is important to point out a feeling that is a direct symptom of not getting over it. process: uncertainty. Breaking up with a partner, whether it’s a romantic relationship or a marriage, involves doubts about the future. Psychologists are well aware that a sentimental breakup involves a period of mourning, in which sadness combines with uncertainty, manifesting itself in the form of questions such as will I love again? Will they still love me? Will I do what I did wrong again? …

    too much it’s a real pain not to know if the person with whom we really broke up will definitely miss us, He came back but as a friend or if he wants to come back then regrets the breakup. Whatever happens, what blocks us completely is a signal that you really want to cut dry, it’s a way of telling us that he is no longer interested in us and, although it seems counter- intuitive, that’s a good signal. This is a positive thing because, as long as it keeps us from chatting about him again, we will be freer, taking less time to think about him or her.

    The breakup is a very painful time emotionally for both parties. They both feel stress, the tension of not knowing what the other is going to do or stop doing. The best way to shorten the lifespan of these emotions is to stop being exposed to the stimulus that causes them, namely any photographs, audio, or comments from the ex-partner.

      Possible reasons why your ex blocked you

      The reasons why our ex-partner blocked us from all sides can be summarized, roughly, in the following pointsAlthough they can also be interpreted as tips applicable to ourselves that will motivate us to block our partner and speed up the process of breaking up.

      1. Stop being exposed to the ex

      It is very likely, especially if it was he or she who broke up, that the other party still sees our images even if they are not looking for them.

      In other words, imagine the situation in which he added us to Instagram again. Every time we post a photo, he or she will see it, and we will remind him or her of our existence, with all that that entails.

      To avoid having to be exposed to us, the best thing he could have done was block him on social media, not with a malignant intention, but rather with the intention to better manage the pain.

      2. Do not torture

      In connection with what we talked about human curiosity, it is possible that our ex blocked us because I was constantly checking our social media, observing what we were doing and what we were not doing.

      This is what we call “stalkear,” which is basically the Anglo-Saxon term for “stalk or prowl,” but not in the grim sense of the word.

      Being aware of how a person who has just left us is something that does not leave a good body, Because you will still feel something. That is why, in a rational act, he prevented us from stopping torturing by looking at our profile.

      3. He feels watched

      As we have seen this is common for, after a breakup, a little bit of follow-up on what the other person is doing. As long as it doesn’t serve to commit crimes or convince yourself that there will be a winback (let yourself be happy and free!) It’s okay to watch what you’re doing a little bit.

      The problem is, the other party might know that you are watching them and they don’t like it. As a free person, you have decided to block – to prevent yourself from continuing to watch what is suspended.

      It is not an immature act. He has every right to choose who sees and who does not what he wears. It is also immature that you have chatted a bit on your profile, as long as you haven’t posted any nasty comments or opened your chat again and again.

      4. To move forward

      It can be a mixture of the three causes above, combined with the idea that if you cut off all relationship with yourself, you will not be able to move forward.

      What about Whatsapp?

      Although they are all social media, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook are not the same as WhatsApp and Telegram. The first three are networks that we might consider biographical, i.e. we post our status, photos, share content and articles. Instead, WhatsApp and similar networks are used more as instant messaging networks. Yes, we can share photos and content, but the main use is for conversations.

      It is relatively easy to block a person in biographical networks, Especially to prevent you from accessing the most revealing content, such as photos with your new partner. She does this, as we’ve said before, either to keep us from seeing her or because she doesn’t want to be tempted to see our photos.

      However, it is different with instant messaging apps, as they are more personal services and the place where pretty much the whole story of our relationship can be found: good morning love messages, good night baby, pictures of all. kinds (erotic included) and, especially in the most recent posts, the chronicle of an unpleasant outcome.

      Deciding whether or not to remove our ex from Whatsapp is a very complicated decision., And it depends on the use that is given to this whole network when broken. It is said that maintaining contact with the ex-partner, even if he is in good shape to keep in touch just in case, is something that can inhibit the process of overcoming the breakup. This is why it is generally recommended to break contact even in this way.

      It is especially advisable to do this if we are among those who keep revisiting over and over again the very long conversation we had with him. It can bring back good memories, but also tense situations, especially the most recent posts. It can cause us a lot of emotional pain, being unable to step out of the past and behave, aside from being very pathological, like suspected sleuths trying to figure out when the relationship went wrong, and if we can do it. return.

      Finally, deleting the phone number, whether it blocked us or not, is highly recommended. It is because that will prevent, when we are a little depressed or not that the emotions are in full swing, we call him, we tell him that we regret everything means crying, asking a thousand and one ways, all humiliating, come on back. It’s best to put some distance and time, and the best way to do this is to cut off communication, especially if there was too much tension..

      If that person has to come back, or wants to make things right when there is calm, everything will happen at the right time. What we cannot do is obsess over whether it has blocked us or prevented us from blocking, and we also must not believe that miraculously everything will be fixed. Life is a river whose waters know they will end in the sea, but they don’t know what the path will be like. Love is like the sea, it will come, whether it’s to come back with our ex or to go out with a new person.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Blight, MG, Ruppel, EK and Jagiello, K. (2019). “Using Facebook lets me know what it’s doing:” Relationship uncertainty, breakups and renewals in back / off relationships, Southern Communication Journal, DOI: 10.1080 / 1041794X.2019.1641836
      • Fox, J. and Tokunaga, RS (2015). Supervision of the Romantic Partner after Breakups: Links, Addiction, Anxiety, and Post-Breakup Online Monitoring Via Social Networking Sites. Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, 18 (9), 491-498. doi: 10.1089 / cyber.2015.0123
      • Lukacs, V. (2012). It’s complicated: break-ups and their consequences on It’s complicated: break-ups and their consequences on Facebook Facebook. Filing of theses and electronic dissertations.

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