How often do you think of this thought: “my partner doesn’t want my family”? Do you feel in constant war between your family and your partner? Do not despair, in this article we bring you some key ideas to improve the relationship between your partner and your family.
Before, however, we will discuss three possible circumstances (or causes) that could arise alongside this situation, and which can help you better understand the why of everything.
“My partner does not want my family”: possible circumstances
Think about it, “my partner doesn’t want my family” but you just don’t understand why. There are so many causes (or circumstances) that could explain thisBut here are some fairly common examples that might occur in your case.
So why doesn’t my partner want my family? What circumstances can be accompanied by the situation you are going through? Let’s see some:
1. Your family doesn’t love your partner
One of the possible circumstances around your partner disliking your family is that your family also dislikes your partner.
This, of course, is often noticed, and it may happen that your partner notices that your family doesn’t like him, which in turn causes it. a little distance between the two parts, Or even the emergence of conflicts. In other words, there may be no feelings between your family and your partner, and this “dislike” may be mutual.
2. They have nothing in common
Another possible circumstance surrounding the problem is that it your family and your partner have nothing in common.
This may make your partner too lazy to attend family events, or you may not directly feel sympathy for them because they have never connected in any way. So the lack of common interests can lead to a situation like the one we are proposing.
3. For your family, your partner is insufficient
It can also happen that your family thinks that your partner is not enough for you (good enough, smart, rich, whatever). In other words, let them think you deserve something “better”.
Couples end up noticing it, which can cause your partner to also not feel sympathy for your family and directly “not want it”, because these thoughts about her logically make her feel bad (To feel, in turn, “small” for your child).
4. Your partner feels that your family is too involved
There are more “invasive” political families than others in the emotional realm of their loved ones; in other words that is to say, parents who are very involved in their children’s relationships, And others which give them more freedom, more freedom of way.
In the first case, it may happen that your partner feels overwhelmed by the interference of your family in the relationship, and that this overflow is the cause of not wanting to be with the family (or directly “not wanting”). .
How can the situation be improved?
If you constantly have this feeling or think that your partner just doesn’t like your family, it might be time to consider some changes in your life and get down to work to change the situation.
It should be clear, however, that this is why it is essential that you and your partner really want to change this situation and improve your partner’s relationship with your family. In other words, there must be real motivation and real interest. Without this first step, it is impossible to change anything.
Let’s divide this section in two: in the first, we will talk about guidelines or key ideas that your partner can implement to improve the relationship with your family (who are usually your parents), and in the second, guidelines or key ideas that you can put into practice.
1. Guidelines for the couple
When faced with the thought that your partner doesn’t want your family, you should also consider the following: How can you not help change the situation? (In addition to you). Always in case she wants it, and that this path is also focused on improving your relationship, if it has been affected by the situation. Here are some guidelines:
1.1. Talk to the family
A first idea is for your partner to speak directly to the family. He can simply approach her slowly, to find out if there is an underlying issue or conflict that she is not aware of, or ask her directly.
Depending on the circumstances and the trust, you can inquire about these issues or ask them directly if they have any issues with this. It can also be a good opportunity to approach postures, to empathize with the other party, to listen to each other, to understand, to classify roughness, etc.
1.2. Organize an activity together
Another idea is that your partner, or both (with you) organize an activity or event to share time together. The ideal would be to develop it in a warm, pleasant and relaxed environment, so that conflicts do not arise and things can be discussed with an absolute naturalness.
2. Guidelines for oneself
If you want to be the one to take control and take action, here are some tips that can help:
2.1. Talk to your partner
A first step you can take is to speak directly with your partner about the situation; about how you feel, what you think about it, how it affects you, how she experiences it, etc. Look for a good time to do it and to be able to share feelings, thoughts or beliefs about the current situation.
It is certain that your partner must also “let off steam” and express his concerns and needs in this regard.
2.2. Talk to the family
Beyond talking to your partner, too it may be important that you talk to your family, And let them express what you think of this situation. Do you feel uncomfortable with your partner? They do not like? Do they think your partner rejects them? How do they live it?
These are just a few questions you can ask your family, directly or indirectly. The goal is for your family to understand that they and your partner are important to you, and that you don’t want the relationship with them to hurt your relationship or family dynamics.
Choose between family or partner?
It’s one thing to feel “my partner doesn’t want my family,” and the other, which goes much further, is having to choose between your partner or your family. If it has not been raised by either party, you don’t have to raise it, at least a priori.
Ideally, you could maintain both relationships and one should not be incompatible with the other.. Ultimately, we are human and people, speaking, understand each other. However, if things are getting too ugly, or if there is a lot of tension between your partner and your family (and you’ve already tried everything), this might be a good time to think it over.
You don’t have to be radical and choose between “one thing or another”, but you do. maybe you can increase your time between the two sides of your life, Enough, and without your partner having too much contact with the family. We are already talking about extreme cases, but sometimes they do occur.
- Albuquerque, JP (2017). Family, family conflicts and mediation. Editorial Ubijus. Mexico.
- Villaluenga, LG (2006). Mediation in family disputes: a construction of family law. Editorial by Reus. Madrid.