My partner is not filling me up: possible causes and what to do

Over time, it’s relatively common in a relationship that both members don’t feel like they were at the beginning, hence a process of falling out of love, something natural. However, when this situation is taken to the extreme where one or both members feel that their partner is not fulfilling them; it can lead to sadness, grief and even uncertainty.

If your partner isn’t fulfilling you, it could be for a number of reasons, and there are certain signs that might make me think things aren’t going the way they should. Thus, in this article we will see the signs that allow us to identify why someone might feel like their partner isn’t fulfilling them and we will also see some tips to keep in mind in these cases.

    Why do I feel like my partner isn’t filling me up?

    These are the causes most associated with feeling “empty” in a relationship.

    1. Reduction of joint projects

    If your partner isn’t filling you up, one of the main reasons could be that there would have been a reduction in joint projects over timewhile it would be normal for more projects to be shared, because you might have certain goals in life.

    That’s why a sign that the relationship isn’t working as it should is that each member spends less and less time together, as each is focused on a series of projects that don’t fit with the other so that there is less and less space to spend as a couple; especially when neither member of the couple is working to find common ground with the other, thus becoming even more distant over time.

    A lack of affinity in terms of tastes, interests or concerns, as well as at the intellectual level, could be influenced by a reduction in joint projects.

      2. Lack of acts of affection and loss of interest

      Another possible reason could be the fact that lately there are few or few signs of affection between us, so those details of affection that we used to show before are gone and we barely give each other kisses or hugs. Besides, we didn’t have as much fun when we were together.

      Nor are there generally any praises or details from the two and all those expressions of love which had previously been replaced by certain gestures of indifference, having become routine our moments as a couple, because we always doing the same things, going out or even innovating alone in terms of plans or details; in other words, we always do the same activities together and we always give each other similar gifts on the dates indicated.

      Another cause for concern within the couple could be the loss of interest in the other by one or even both members. In these cases, there is no longer any interest in what is happening in the life of the other, which favors an increase in the distance between the two.

        3. Lack of communication or impoverishment of the same

        One of the possible causes for a person to feel overwhelmed by their partner can be a lack of communication or impoverishment. Although not all people have the same communication skills and there are couples where there is generally less communication than in others, a warning sign could be the fact that communication between the two members has occurred to a lesser extent than usual and that in addition do not strive to reach an understanding.

        When interest and love wane within a couple, there is a good chance communication problems begin to appearso it is also more difficult to resolve points of disagreement peacefully and it is more common for discussions to engage more frequently and intensely.

        In some cases, this lack of communication could lead to the fact that only the right thing is said, and even the conversation is reduced to monosyllabic, so that both members of the couple feel alone when they are together even if the physical presence is shared.

          4. Lack of tolerance for certain behaviors of the other member of the couple

          When one member of the couple does not replace the other, it is possible for a breakup to take place and in such cases there may be intolerance on the part of the behavior of the other member.

          It usually starts when a person starts to see that they are drifting away from their partner and share less and less interest, so they start to see their partner from a different perspective. each time you will notice more in certain behaviors of your partner that you do not likebeing able to even magnify himself from his point of view of these apparent imperfections.

            5. Lack of sexual desire

            Among the causes of this problem could be the lack of sexual desire, one of the signs associated with a process of falling in love. With that there is usually a general distance between the two members of the marriage or courtshipremoving the need for physical closeness and intimacy between the two.

            In such cases, the couple’s sex life can become monotonous or even short. Kissing and showing affection may have become routine acts that happen automatically and feel the same as before.

            6. Lack of fun

            Another sign that things are not going well in a relationship is when one or both members feel like they are no longer having fun doing things together, and it is very important that when the two members of the couple are together, they do not need anyone else to spend fun and pleasant moments. We don’t mean by this that it’s all fun and that you always have to have a good time, because a couple is much more than that, since you also have to be there to support each other in difficult times.

            However, when the fun times don’t happen as a couple like they once did, we’re dealing with a sign that something is wrong, especially when you need the company of more people to be distracted and not not see reality.

              7. The idea that you might be better off without a partner comes to mind.

              If your partner isn’t fulfilling you, it’s likely that thoughts and ideas related to a hypothetical future in which that person is already with you and that you think would be better off single will come to mind. It usually happens when a person does not feel happy in their relationship and she begins to feel more and more aloneit is common for him to carry out most projects without his partner, even preferring to be with other people than with his partner.

                What if my partner doesn’t fulfill me?

                When someone feels that their partner is not fulfilling, they should analyze the above points and think about everything that is happening to them with their partner and if she thinks it’s mutual or just happening to her.

                It should also be kept in mind that being in love is not the same as being in love, as the former is a process deeply mediated by brain chemistry, as during this time lovers fall in love with each other. a wide variety of hormones. (e.g., oxytocin or vasopressin, among others), being the cause of these feelings of “having butterflies in the stomach” and “being in clouds”.

                On the other hand, loving is something deeper and has greater solidity than falling in love; is a process that usually takes longer. This is when each member of the couple has a more realistic view of the other person and their relationship. Therefore, it must be kept in mind that falling in love may disappear, but love remains, being a bond that supports the most resilient and mature relationship, which allows both members to accept each other for what it is, bearing in mind their virtues, but also its faults.

                Therefore, when there is a loss of love but there is some degree of love or affection, the relationship can work. This requires that both members are committed to their relationship and have the desire and interest, thus being convinced that it is worth trying and moving forward together.

                A highly recommended option in such cases would be for both of them to agree to seek out a therapist or psychologist who specializes in couples who can help both of them find a way to re-channel their relationship, thus leaving behind any issues that may have could get them where they are.

                When someone feels that his partner does not fulfill him, he must also ask himself if it is a passing thing, when he is having a bad time or if it is already something that comes from afar. In this type of situation you have to analyze the facts well and not try to be wrongbecause if you consider that your relationship has no future, the more you let go of it, the more difficult it will be for you to end your relationship.

                Bibliographic references

                • Alava, MJ (2006). Love without suffering: Neither men are impossible, nor women incomprehensible. Madrid: The sphere of books.
                • Galligo, F. (2013). Love without pain, love to love. Madrid: Ediciones Pyramid.
                • Gottman, JM & Silver, N. (2012). Seven golden rules for living as a couple: an in-depth study of relationships and coexistence. Madrid: Penguin Random House.
                • Martin, Y. (2020). Discover True Love: My 4 Keys to Relationships. Cáceres: Independent publishing house.
                • Ramírez, P. (2014). Why do they dream of being footballers and are they princesses? Barcelona: Editorial space.
                • Stange, I., Ortega, A., Moreno, MA and Gamboa, C. (2017). Approach to the concept of couple. Psychologist. A m. Lat., 29, p. 7-22.

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