How many mistakes we would avoid in relationships if we knew the difference between love and the fear of being alone! And while it is true that falling in love has a very powerful emotional impact, the effects of needing to be in a relationship can be longer lasting. In some cases, it can even be a source of anxiety that lasts for decades or virtually a lifetime if left unchecked.
Do youWhy some people don’t know how to be single and constantly walk in search of a relationship? What can be done to get out of this situation? Let’s see.
People Who Don’t Know How To Be Single: Why Do They Do It?
There are different reasons that lead people not to know how to live celibacy naturally or without hurting others. These are several of them.
1. The myth of the half-orange
Romantic love is based on a series of distorted ideas about how emotional relationships are and should be, and one of those mistaken beliefs has to do with the half-orange myth.
According to this conception of love, we are incomplete people until we find someone to complete us. For this reason, celibacy is seen as a waste of time and resources, the achievement of failure, as it is a stage in which, for some reason, we fail to find the couple who will complete us and make us happy.
From this mental schema, moreover, it is very easy to think in terms of “white or black” and attribute all the evils that occur to us not having a partner. If being in a relationship does not bring happiness, it is interpreted as a sign that you are not well with that person, which leads to the breakdown and the immediate search for another relationship.
2. The need to go through “serial monogamy” so as not to feel bad
Although it may seem false, sexuality outside marriage is still strongly stigmatized today, even in the most advanced and democratic countries. The fear of being disapproved by others causes some people to talk about love when they are actually talking about sex, so celibacy is associated with no sex life.
People who don’t know how to be single for this reason, then in reality they do not have the means to live their sexuality fully and honestly, And while this may lead them to give false hope to other people, they experience repression which also causes them discomfort.
3. They are victims of the rebound effect on love
There is a type of dating relationship known as a rebound relationship, and they are characterized by being in effect an emotional blanket to fill the void left by an ex. In other words, there are people who don’t know how to be alone because they are trying to find a way to relive what it felt like to be with a certain person.
In such cases, new relationships that start don’t usually last long because of the problems that arise in them; after all, another person is being used as a “prop to the imagination” in an experience that has more to do with simulating an experience than with the life of the actual affection someone is expressing.
4. Social pressure and pursuit of reputation
We must not forget that the reason why a person does not get along with celibacy does not have to be fundamentally in itself; the social context influences a lot.
Currently, particularly in social settings where the very young predominate (adolescents and post-adolescents), not having a partner for a long time can be a reason to tease. Something that, whether or not we care what they think about us, impacts the lives of those at risk: receiving poorer treatment, having less social support, etc. However, the reverse can also happen, seeking fame by showing how many lovers you have (a bit more typical of men, as women can be stigmatized for this).
In reaction to the possibility of being left alone both in love and in virtually any social sphere, many young people have decided to find a partner without worrying too much about whether they are really feeling a little intense for them. ‘lover.
5. The search for power
It should be remembered that some people only seek to have relationships as a pretext to be a situation in which they can easily dominate someone, Handling and elimination of privacy. They do this by seeking out people who are prone to being dominated if certain conditions are met and initiating a relationship based on psychological or physical manipulation and abuse.
Anuptophobia, leading to mental disorders
In most cases, people who don’t know how to be single are able to put their lives in order and are not obsessed with it all the time. However, there are very extreme cases where the fear of celibacy becomes a form of phobia. This phenomenon is known as anuptophobia.
In these cases, the person feels a sense of loss of control that they leads to having moments of crisis caused by the recurring thought of not having a partner or to have a partner. We must go through a therapeutic program that allows us to return to normal by making these kinds of recurring fears and thoughts appear less and less often.