The unfaithful person, in addition to being generally depicted in art forms that rely on drama (is one of the favorite characters in the annals of literature, cinema, television, and all the arts where the heart can hardly cry), there is much beyond fiction and not limited to a few isolated cases.
Today, and despite the fact that monogamy is the predominant pattern in much of the planet, infidelity is at the heart of Western families, as more and more cases of couples or marriages are affected and that they go into crisis because of this phenomenon.
However, when we talk about unfaithful people, we are talking about individuals who tend to consistently commit infidelities, not as an exception but as a norm. Below we will see the the behaviors and psychological profile of the unfaithful person, In addition to some clearly external factors affecting the environment towards the individual.
What is the psychological profile of the unfaithful person?
As we have seen, the infidel is an individual used to having relationships that break with the basic rules on which the couple is based. Now … what is it that makes your relationships so unstable and with so blurred boundaries? At the heart of this issue is the way the unfaithful person manages affection with others.
A study, conducted by the University of Florida, determined that the unfaithful person tends to develop a form of condition called an “insecure condition”. This theory ensures that the primary relationships established with parents and guardians during childhood and the early years of life decisively influence the relationships that develop in adulthood. And it seems that all of its manifestations are linked to the profile of the unfaithful person.
According to the affection theory of John Bowlby (1907-1990), people who have developed an insecure attachment generally exhibit the following characteristics in adulthood, depending on the type of affection and the primary relationships in which they have developed: their condition. We meet three types of unfaithful people:
1. Anxious state
Adults who exhibit this type of attachment are more susceptible to rejection and anxiety, have impairments in impulse control, and constant dissatisfaction. They are also afraid of being rejected by the loving couple, and it is for this reason that they constantly and impulsively form relationships, seeking approval.
Some research in psychology points out that infidels are also often the most jealous, Question which in the background reveals a great inferiority complex and a low self-esteem that must be reaffirmed to please others and very often. Curious, right?
2. Fixing by avoidance
These people have learned to pay less attention to their emotional expressions. In other words, these are people who show colder and they will tend to stay further apart, so their relationships will be less deep, or they will receive less emotional load. They consistently exhibit elusive behaviors, high levels of hostility and aggression, and for them infidelity will not carry the same emotional weight as ordinary people. In short, high rates of negative interactions with the couple will appear.
3. Disorganized state
These people do not enter into a relationship with sufficient security and conviction, and they tend to display unpredictable and unorganized behavior. When the case arises, they are not very understanding and it will be extremely difficult for them to be understood by their counterpart. The characteristics of this personality type in terms of an emotional relationship will contribute to its lack of continuity.
What other factors lead to infidelity
As discussed above, the psychological profile of the unfaithful person is very complex, and there is no single definition or cause that classifies or identifies them as such. Aside from Bowlby’s three major labels, there are many other factors that reveal the psychological profile of the infidel, Which we will detail below:
1. The risk
Those who tend to make risky decisions or they show a more accentuated sense of adventureThey are more likely to be unfaithful than more fearful people. It is very likely that a genetic component is involved in risky behaviors, as the simple act of being unfaithful includes a high risk component for failure.
It is one of the most influential and definitive characteristics. People in positions of power are extremely prone to infidelity. Power increases confidence and self-esteem, which leads people to act in a more assertive and outgoing manner. The powerful are more likely to make direct eye contact, stop with confident poses (body language), and come across as a potential lover.
3. Sexual desire
Sexual desire varies from person to person. Levels of libido they have a genetic component that is difficult to control. Some people have a great interest in sex while others project less interest in the subject. Being a purely physical component, some people are inherently easier to be motivated by their sexual desire.
In this particular case, men tend to have a greater libido, Which leads them to carry the stick of purely sexual and non-emotional infidelity.
Society has taught us to see love and romance as a sacred and everlasting bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game in which the goal is to manipulate the other person and gain power over the romantic partner through emotional blackmail, something very typical of individuals with a high degree of psychopathy. People who see love as a game they are much more likely to have multiple love interests; Cheating and lying is just another way to gain control over your spouse.
5. The economic level
A person’s attractiveness greatly influences their likelihood of being unfaithful. Attraction manifests itself in different ways. It is influenced by physical appearance (it is the first thing the eyes see), social skills (charisma, gift of speaking) and tangible resources like money. The closer we get to what is most in demand, the more likely we are to be unfaithful.
People with better education, more income, and successful careers they are more likely to develop an unfaithful profile than individuals with less purchasing power or access to education, in part because they are more exposed to the type of people who have the characteristics most seen as superficially attractive.
Is there a possible solution?
We have two points of view to approach the conflict. First, the solution can be focused by focusing on the individual with the psychological profile of an infidel who cannot and desires a stable relationship; it can also be couple-centered, if the mainstay of the problem has more to do with external factors that cause one or the other to be unfaithful.
On the other hand, when the problem focuses more than anything on a reality of both, there must be a predisposition on the part of the couple to resolve a situation of such gravity, as long as they both have a sincere desire to move forward in the relationship. In some cases, reciprocal infidelities arise at times when both parties want to end the relationship.
In both cases, the participation of a qualified professional is necessary. You should always seek the help of an expert relationship counselor, as it often seems extremely difficult to deal with these types of issues on your own. Introducing a more objective third external opinion will contribute to more constructive conversations.
Also keep in mind that couples therapy will not always provide a solution, And even less instant. The will of the person (s) concerned is elementary in order to find a satisfactory solution.