Relationship mistrust: 11 ways it hurts us

Relationships are a bond that relies on several key aspects to achieve a good coexistence between members. Within this range of factors is found trust, which is of decisive importance in this emotional bond.

In this article we will see how mistrust in the relationship affects usWe will also go over the main signs present in the bond of love.

    How does distrust of the other affect the couple?

    As we have seen above, trust in the couple plays a determining role in the relationship. And it is that when we get involved with someone in a sentimental way, we have to feel safe with that person, to have guarantees that this relationship has a stable future. When we do not achieve this emotional stability, we are seized with anxiety.

    Distrust in the relationship is a silent enemy, because it does not imply an imminent breakBut it is responsible for the erosion of the emotional bond to the point of harming coexistence, sometimes permanently.

    It doesn’t make sense to be in a relationship where, most of the time, you doubt your partner’s commitment to you.

    As insecurity and mistrust gain ground, mental and emotional wear and tear also start to become much greater, which this inevitably affects the quality of life of those affected by these negative feelings.

    Intrusive thoughts that do not allow us to focus properly on the most daily things of our day, lack of desire to do our activities, must check that everything is fine in the relationship … These are just some of the ways in which mistrust diminishes people’s relationships and people’s individual quality of life.

    Signs of mistrust in the relationship

    Now let’s take a look at some of the more specific complications that often arise when inappropriate feelings of mistrust and insecurity affect people in their married life.

    1. Sound problems

    Distrust is generated in the person who suffers from it an alteration in the content of recurrent thoughts, Which take a catastrophic and anxiety-provoking trend. Usually, the subject has trouble falling asleep because of these negative thoughts, which intensify at night.

    2. Lack of attention

    When mistrust appears in the couple, it usually takes a great deal of people’s time and involves the use of cognitive resources; thought, analysis, and of course attention, which is compromised. The subject is complicated by the task of concentrating on their daily activities due to anxiety.

      3. Mood swings

      Mood swings (emotional lability) are frequent in states of anxiety characteristic of mistrust in the couple. These consist of moving from calm to worry, from happiness to sadness; in general these transitions are abrupt, affecting the subject and his immediate environment.

      4. Irritability

      Irritability becomes a constant when mistrust of the partner becomes present. People tend not to tolerate certain comments or situations, Especially if they have to do with their love life, or if they are perceived as an attack (direct or indirect). The subject becomes angry when faced with a reality that is uncomfortable for him.

      5. Frequent discussions with the partner

      Communication styles become dysfunctional when members of the marriage or romantic relationship do not trust each other. In general, they are predisposed to have heated discussions which only gradually erode the relationship until, in many cases, it leads to a breakup.

        6. Tension in the muscles

        Many of the psychological and emotional consequences of distrust are also reflected on the physical level. ** Muscle tension is one of the most common somatic forms ** of noticing that something is wrong with our emotional state.

        7. Tension headache

        Tension headache is a headache caused by a high and intense level of tension in certain muscle groups, especially those in the head and neck.

        8. Tendency to isolation

        When people have doubts about their romantic partner, they don’t like others to remind them about it, and that’s why in some cases, they decide to limit their social gatherings further.

        9. Substance use

        Distrust applied to love life is a complicated situation, which can lead the person to seek desperate solutions to the feeling of uncertainty that they present. One of the supposed alternatives may be the consumption of certain substances that provide apparent relief from this short-term burden, just like alcohol or other drugs.

        10. Propensity for infidelity

        The saying that one key pulls out another key is of particular significance in these situations, where the couple is in doubt. Each party may seek to feel a sense of security in another person, And that makes infidelity happen.

        11. Eat too much

        Overeating is a common reaction to the stress of not knowing what may be going on in the relationship, not daring to confront our partner with what their feelings may be. an irrational and constant appetite as a form of doubt relief.

        What to do?

        Couples therapy is an increasingly popular and popular form of psychological intervention, and it is effective in treating these types of problems.

        In these sessions, it is possible to overcome dysfunctional dynamics such as mismanagement of discussions, conflictual coexistence, crises due to infidelities, etc. Both members of the relationship should be involved in this process and attend weekly sessions; the duration of treatment is a few months. Currently, a large number of psychologists are trained to provide this service.

        Bibliographical references:

        • Biscotti, O. (2006). Couples therapy: a systemic perspective. 1a. ed. Buenos Aires: Lumen.
        • Fehr, B., Russell, J. (1991). The concept of love seen from the point of view of a prototype. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
        • O’Donohue, W. and Ferguson, KE (2006). Evidence-based practice in psychology and behavior analysis. The behavior analyst today.
        • Shackelford, TK; Voracek, M .; Schmitt, DP; Buss, DM; Weekes-Shackelford, VA; Michalski, RL (2004). Romantic jealousy in early adulthood and later in life. Human nature. 15 (3): 283-300.

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