What is emotional addiction? How to identify it? How to differentiate it from love?
Signs of emotional addiction
Emotional dependence is the emotional need for the presence or contact of one person with another to cover different areas of their life, Which is conditioned based on what the other person does or does not do.
We talk about emotional dependence …
- When your self-esteem is relegated to another person.
- when the hours of your day are marked by the presence or absence of the other person.
- When your daily goal is basically to get that person’s message or call.
- If from all around you, only one person holds all your attention and affection.
- If you are happy when you communicate with this person and if that doesn’t happen you feel sad.
- If your emotions are dependent on the other person’s actions.
- If you feel that you cannot be without seeing or being with a certain person.
- When your whole universe is reduced to this person.
If the bond with that person becomes harmful, involving more nasty than positive things, walk away. Solta-. Even if it hurts you. It can be difficult, expensive, but … what is the cost that you are willing to pay to continue this relationship that is causing you so much discomfort?
What to do not to suffer from it?
Listen to yourself, look at yourself. How does this emotional pain impact you? Are you able to support him to continue this link?
If it’s love it shouldn’t hurt. We are used socially and culturally to the fact that it is valid to suffer for love, to die of love, to need the other to live, to be happy. We see it in novels, we hear it in songs like “Without you, I am nothing”, “I need you”. Sentences so naturalized that they subtly incorporate the idea, and just a little vulnerability to believe. But this is not the reality.
The reality is that you don’t need anyone in particular to live, breathe, be happy. Frankly, if you need someone: yourself. You must love yourself, value yourself, respect yourself. You will live with you for the rest of your life. And one of the most rewarding things about growing up is being and feeling independent. In all directions. While it is not easy to achieve economic independence, in many cases it is more difficult to achieve emotional independence.
It does not mean having to solve everything individually in life, not forming a partner or believing in omnipotence. This means that if we need help, we must ask for it but not hold on to that person, permanently and exclusively. A healthy way to socialize and exchange help with others, it refers to flexibility and variability of resources so as not to fall into a dead end. There are lots of ways you can help.
Steps to follow
First, we must recognize that we are going through a problematic, unpleasant and toxic situation: In this case, we are talking about a relationship that tires us out, gradually deteriorating. At this point, it would be interesting to assess what kind of relationship it is and what unites them: is it love? Obsession? Need? A costume?
Second, we must accept the harmful nature of the link and encourage ourselves to make the decision to move away, to take a healthy distance.
Third, we need to find resources to help us make this decision. Internal and external resources.
Build self-esteem this is one of the main keys and can be generated with self-care behaviors that reward us, bring us back to love for ourselves. Seek professional help, start a sports, recreational, leisure or solidarity activity, take a walk with friends or family, generate new social circles. Building or rebuilding your own path is fundamental in order to be able to embark on the path of disinterest in what does us more harm than good. What hurts us.
Take care of yourself, take care of your self-esteem, take care of your dignity, take care of your identity, take care of who you are. Value yourself, respect yourself and be respected.