Swingers: who they are and what their way of experiencing sex is based on

Sexuality is an aspect of our life which, throughout history, has received varying treatment depending on the era and the dominant schools of thought. Multiple sexual practices have been banned and censored, and even female desire and pleasure have been underestimated and forgotten for centuries. The same has happened in all this non-heterosexual sexual orientation, which has even been persecuted.

Fortunately, we are now living at a stage where, at least in one part of the world, there is a high level of sexual freedom, being born and reproducing – different ways of enjoying our sensuality and sexuality. One of these practices is still controversial by the population today, because it differs from the concept of fidelity associated with the world of the couple. It’s the couple exchange or swing and those who practice it, the swingers.

    What are swingers?

    Swingers are those people who maintain a stable relationship who maintain consensual sex between the two members of the couple with other couples.

    Thus, each member of a couple has a relationship with one member of another while the other two do the same. These sexual acts are always carried out in the presence and with the participation at the same time and in the same place of all the members of each couple and we are at all times more actively or more passively involved in the sexual encounter.

    It is remarkable that these are stable couples who decide to have sex with other people in an agreed and joint way, there is no cheating and having to be something desired by both parties . Likewise, the couple with whom the so-called exchange of couples takes place it is decided and agreed jointly, Do not impose the choice of one on the other. There is the exclusivity of love, but not sexuality.

    Couple exchanges can be carried out in clubs created for this purpose, during private events, in a manner agreed between individuals or through applications intended for this. It is relevant to note that couple exchanges they do not necessarily require penetration vaginal or anal, and may be limited to staring or touching (the so-called gentle swapping) or oral sex. In addition to this, there can also be full sex (full swap).

    The range and type of acts authorized or accepted must be agreed in advance. In some cases, one member of each pair mates while the other two are watching. The couples who practice it are generally heterosexual, although it is not uncommon for same-sex contact to occur even if they are not gay.

    We are not faced with a particularly common type of practice, being something that today is not totally welcomed by society. Regardless of this, it is important to keep in mind that these practices are carried out at all times out of respect, swingers being people who have decided to enjoy their sexuality in this way freely and respecting the values ​​and standards they decide with their partners.

      The origins of the couple exchange

      Historically, there are some doubts about the origin of swing practice. Apparently, one of the most accepted hypotheses is that its origin dates back to a period between the 40s and 60s in the USA.

      The origins can be traced back to military groups stationed in the Philippines, which in some clubs organized what was then called “the exchange of women”: They met and then each of them put the keys to their room in a hat, took from that hat other keys corresponding to another room, exchanging them with the original owner’s pair of keys. This type of practice became popular during the hippie era, although it remained little accepted by the majority of the population.

      Over time, this practice, which was initially associated with a submissive role towards women and in many cases also express submission, has been modified to make it a practice in which couples agree and consent to decide whether to ” have sex with other people at the same time and in the same place.

      ground rules

      The practice of swing it is a complex and socially criticized phenomenon, So swingers tend to hide their practices. It is also necessary to take into account the need to establish a series of rules in these practices so that conflicts do not arise within the couple. Although each couple sets their own rules, there are mainly a number of basic principles that they follow.

      1. Situation agreed upon and without pressure from either party

      The main and most important premise that any exchange of couples must follow is that both members of the couple must be interested and satisfied in doing this type of practice. In other words, it’s crucial that neither party accepts something that they really don’t want to do on their own to please their partner or out of fear of breaking up.

      Likewise, this also applies to acceptance or rejection by the person or couple with whom the couple wishes to have sex.

      2. Safety first

      Another basic element is the use of prophylaxis: sex with different partners this can lead to a high risk of spreading sexually transmitted infections or pregnancies if they are not carried out with protection. Using condoms and other protective mechanisms can reduce this risk.

      3. No emotional involvement

      One of the most basic premises that the swinger movement may not have a negative impact on the couple is keeping the act of swapping in something purely sexual. We are talking about those who realize it must be consolidated and stable couples, who must be relational or romantic monogamous. This aspect is particularly relevant so as not to harm the couple.

      Words of affection, tenderness, romantic gifts are irrelevant. Even many couples they forbid kissing, given the romantic connotation which generally has this act for most people.

      4. It shouldn’t be the only sexual practice

      Swing can be a stimulating practice for people who practice it, but it is strongly recommended that it not be the only one practiced. Maintaining sexual relations with the couple in other contexts and without exchanges is also necessary and healthy to maintain the couple.

      Possible benefits and risks

      If it is carried out according to a set of basic rules and in a manner fully and voluntarily accepted by both parties, the interviews conducted seem to indicate that swinging should not have negative effects on the functioning of the couple and even on some, it can revitalize the couple. eroticism and the attraction that exists between its components by seeing-enjoying in other ways. The idea of ​​sharing this type of activity as something secret between the two members of the couple may also be desirable.

      The practice of swinging also carries a number of risks, especially if the basic premises described above are not respected or if the rules agreed between the members of the couple are not respected.

      Among these risks, the breakup of the couple to be able to get one of its components to consider that the other people with whom it has a relationship give it to their partner something that it cannot give them. There is also a risk of emotional involvement if the contact is prolonged and recurrent. Insecure, jealous or grassroots couples should not attend these practices as they can make their situation worse.

      Also, another aspect that generally poses more problems is the fact that in reality only one of the components of the couple wishes to exchange couples, the other being reluctant despite acceptance to do so. In these cases, the party that does not really want to do so usually does not actively participate, to be able to suffer. Likewise, the situation can get worse if the party that wanted it doesn’t want it to be an isolated experience but a habitual thing. That is why it is very important that there is good communication in the couple and that there is the aforementioned agreement between the two parties.

      In addition to this, of course and as in all sex with multiple partners, the use of prophylaxis such as condoms and other types of barrier mechanisms is necessary, as practicing non-monogamous sex involves risk. sexually transmitted infections. transmission and / or pregnancy.

      Confusions with other terms

      It should be noted that while the basic principle is easy to understand, often the practice of swinging (this is what the practice itself is called) it is mistaken for other types of sexual activity.

      First of all, it is not an act of infidelity but it is something previously agreed and accepted by the two members of the couple. It is not a question of polyamory either, the meeting being purely sexual and there is no love bond between the two couples. Finally, we are not talking about threesomes or orgies, although in some of the parties and meetings of this type sometimes meetings of this nature arise.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Bergstrand, C. and Blevins J. (2003). Alternative Wedding Styles Today: The Swingers Case. Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality.
      • Hurtado, CA and Serna, PA (2011). The swinger lifestyle and the notion of fidelity: a subjective struggle between freedom and sexual exclusivity. Texts and meanings, 4.
      • OByrne, P. and Watts, JA (2011). Exploring Sexual Networks: A Pilot Study on Sexual Behaviors and Health Practices. The Canadian Journal of Nursing Research, 43 (1): 80-97.
      • Orejuela, JJ; Piedrahita, JJ and Renza, F. (2012). Swinger practice / lifestyle: a perverse social and sexual practice? Sexuality, Health and Society, Latin American Journal, 10: 37-69. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

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