The 4 reasons it hurts so much when they break our hearts

Love can be one of the great sources of happiness that human beings can enjoy, but it is also true that under certain circumstances it can lead to nightmares. Basically, any aspect of our life that causes us to feel affection is possible vulnerability. And, when we love someone, that affection becomes so strong that much of the love affair that can result from it becomes one of our most important projects, so if anything happens to that bond, everything around us is shaking.

These types of emotional impacts are so strong that they are not relieved either. in cases where they break our hearts Predictably: Just because we’re falling apart in love and getting to really see that the other person doesn’t care as much as they initially seemed doesn’t stop us from continuing to miss this relationship. Why is this happening?

    What happens when they break our hearts

    Under the concept of “breaking our hearts”, we actually go through several psychological processes that take place in parallel but which, appearing more or less at the same time, are perceived as a whole. They all cause discomfort and are the emotional tails left out of the void the other person leaves in us.

    Therefore, the reasons it hurts us when someone breaks our hearts are the following.

    1. The end of shared habits

    When someone with whom we share daily life disappears on our side, not only does she leave: all those routines that we associate with this life together do the same. Whether walking in the park, going to the movies frequently or playing sports, the fact that a very important part of these experiences is no longer it makes them become habits that mean nothing.

    Therefore, after going through an intense love affair, you have to face the uncertainty of how to rebuild your own life without the participation of the other person, which is painful for two reasons: on the one hand, it’s a constant reminder that we have broken our hearts, and on the other hand, having to decide how to start over is something that causes stress.

      2. Intrusive thoughts appear

      There is no greater myth than the belief that thoughts, because they are higher psychological processes (therefore theoretically distant from “instincts”) are something we control. In fact, anyone who has had a very stressful or traumatic experience knows that is not true.

      Thoughts related to those memories that have marked us emotionally in the past they usually appear and disappear without warning, regardless of our strength of will. It is something that goes beyond the intentions with which we decide to face the day; they simply emerge in our consciousness and, once there, it is almost impossible to ignore them: they act like a magnet on our center of attention, precisely because they are thoughts that produce emotional pain.

      3. Emotional discomfort usually lasts

      It should be borne in mind that, in the same way that evolution has allowed us to think through abstract concepts and to love from a sophisticated understanding of the identity of the other, it has allowed us to also made capable of suffering greatly from facts which are not. involve physical injury.

      What happens when our hearts are broken is the paradigmatic example: It is interesting that what happens in the brains of people who go through this process is very similar to what happens when they are activated. perception of pain. However, unlike what usually happens when we suffer damage from cuts or bumps, emotional problems can last much longer. As a result, the wear is greater.

      4. Something similar to withdrawal syndrome

      When a person accustomed to using a drug stops using that substance, their nervous system goes into crisis, because due to their addiction it had adjusted to abnormal levels of chemicals between neurons, creating a kind of false biochemical balance in the body.

      Likewise, when someone breaks our hearts, we need to adjust to a world in which there is no longer something we took for granted: the love and affection of someone in particular. Specifically, they aim to reduce the effects of missing those moments together from those we’ve enjoyed before.

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