As curious as it may seem, in 1993, Arthur Aron, a psychologist at New York University, developed a questionnaire of 36 questions with which he said it was possible to create such intimacy between two individuals who could fall in love in just 45 minutes.
Although this claim was over 20 years ago, the New York Times uncovered the experiment performed by Arthur Aron, which was reproduced by writer Mandy Len Catron, who claimed she had worked with a stranger. that he had met in a bar.
Questions to fall in love with someone
In the original experiment, Aron was looking for a way for two people to get intimate quickly. After several weeks of testing and having obtained several subjects who answered these questions in pairs, two of the couples present got married.
The experiment therefore consisted of answering 36 questions and then the participants had to look each other in the eyes for 4 minutes. According to the author, this created a bond of intimacy that was enough for the two people to get to know each other inside out and intensify the bond between the two.
In the following lines you can find the 36 questions this author considers foolproof to fall in love when formulated in that order. Questions start to focus on trivial issues and move on to more intimate topics in 45 minutes.
1. Who would you invite to dinner if you could pick someone?
Although this is a seemingly trivial question, it still provides information about the person’s tastes.
2. How would you like to be famous? How? ‘Or’ What?
Fame is often associated with success, but also with narcissism. If you want to know how to detect a narcissist, in the article “How to detect a narcissist … with a simple question” you can read it.
3. Do you repeat what you are going to say when you make a phone call? Because?
It can show whether a person is spontaneous or not and if she has enough self-confidence.
4. What would be the perfect day for you?
There are many questions that allow us to know the personality of others. This is one of them.
5. When was the last time you sang alone? What about another person?
It can give information about whether a person enjoys music and their level of uninhibition.
6. If you could live to be 90 and have the body or mind of someone in their 30s for the last 60 years of your life, would you?
There are people who feel mature because of their age and others who feel young despite their age.
7. How do you think you are going to die?
It can express a person’s fears, but also how they should live their life.
8. List three things you think you have in common with the other person.
Having things in common with a person always promotes interpersonal relationships, especially if these are important things in both of their lives.
9. What do you feel most grateful for?
An answer that can express what the person really appreciates in this life and what makes them happy.
10. If you could change anything in your education, what would it be?
No one is perfect, but it’s good to know and be aware of our limitations or what we want to change back home.
11. Tell the other person in four minutes the story of your life, being as concise as possible.
We all have a past and a story to tell. This question allows the other person to know the most important aspects of their life.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or skill, what would you want it to be?
We would all like to learn new qualities or be better at these areas. Sharing it with the other person is an act of intimacy.
13. What would you ask a glass ball if it could tell you the truth about you, your life, your future or anything?
An answer that provides information about a person’s degree of curiosity. And how she cares about her life.
14. Do you want to do something for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?
Sometimes out of fear and other times out of time, we stop doing things that really motivate us and make us happy.
15. What is the greatest achievement of your life?
We are all proud of some things in our lives and not so many others. A way of knowing what the other interlocutor considers the most important for his life.
16. What do you value most in a friend?
True friends are like our family and we usually look to them for qualities similar to ours.
17. What is your most precious memory?
The important things in our lives are usually the things we remember and appreciate the most. Everyone has in mind the things they consider important.
18. And the most painful?
But all is not good in this life. We can also experience unpleasant situations that we have to live with.
19. If you knew when you would die, would you change your lifestyle? Because?
One way to find out if the other person is happy with the life they are leading and whether they are truly chasing their dreams or not.
20. What is friendship for you?
A sentence that provides information similar to the question “What do you value most in a friend?”
21. What role do love and affection play in your life?
We all have priorities in this life, but not everyone, love is one of them.
22. Say, alternatively, what characteristics you find positive about your interlocutor. A total of five each.
Each of the participants you need to talk about what you think is most positive about the other person.
23. Is your family loving? Do you think your childhood was better than that of others?
Family is the most important socializing agent in our lives and it has a great influence on who we are.
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
The relationship with the mother says a lot about how a person is and how he or she can behave with those close to them.
25. Tell three truths about “us”. For example: “We are in this room feeling …”
One way to highlight what the person thinks about your relationship.
26. Complete the sentence: “I would like to have someone with whom to share …”
Make it clear what is most important in your life when you share it with your partner.
27. If you were to be a close friend of the other person, share something with them that you think is important that they know about you.
Sharing the secrets and the things around us is a great way to show confidence.
28. Tell the other person something you like about them. Be very honest and tell them something you wouldn’t say to someone you just met
When you’ve known someone for a long time, Intimacy makes you open your heart and confess things that you would not normally confess to anyone.
29. Explain to your interlocutor a committed moment in your life
It is only when there is enough trust that it is possible to share the shameful things in a person’s life.
30. When was the last time you cried in front of someone? And only?
Again, one of those intimate questions that you wouldn’t answer to anyone.
31. Tell the other person something you already like about them
One way to bond and build trust between two people is to clearly show that we love the other person.
32. Is there anything you consider too serious to make a joke?
A sense of humor is a highly desirable characteristic by others. Well, people with a sense of humor like the people around them.
33. If you knew you were going to die tonight without speaking to anyone before, what would you wish you had never counted? Why haven’t you expressed it so far?
One of those questions that makes us think about what really motivates us in this life.
34. Your house is on fire and all your possessions are inside. After saving your loved ones and your pet, you have time to collect a single item. What would it be and why?
A way to find out what the other person considers important in their life more than their family and their pet.
35. Who in your family would know you more seriously than you died?
A question that he seeks to know with whom the person has the strongest bond the other interlocutor.
36. Share a personal problem with the other person and ask them to give you their opinion on how they might have acted. Ask him what he thinks you think about the problem you just told him
When you open your heart to someone and tell them your problems, it’s because trust exists.
Intimate questions to meet a person
In addition to the questions proposed by Arthur Aron, it is possible to ask intimate questions to find out how the other person is in intimacy and what are your expectations regarding relationship relationships.
37. Are you conservative or liberal in your intimate relationships?
We all have our beliefs when it comes to intimate relationships. It is always positive that couples fit into their way of thinking about this subject.
38. What do you value most about a relationship?
It is also important to fit into a person’s beliefs about the couple. Even though we have been educated to believe that we should get married, not everyone thinks the same.
39. How many children do you want to have?
When it comes to having children or not, there can also be gaps. This question helps you know if the other person wants to have children and when.
40. Do you have dreams in life? Which one is?
A question that allows to know what are the dreams and expectations of the other person and what are their goals in terms of personal development.