The 5 main relationship problems after childbirth

Simply moving from a situation in which we don’t have many behavioral options to one in which we have more choice does not always give way to greater psychological well-being.

Although paradoxical, facing greater complexity is a challenge capable of generating problems comparable to the lack of opportunities in which we can make decisions.

In this line, the exit from the containment context for the coronavirus pandemic is a factor that can facilitate the appearance of problems in people who live together, and more specifically, in couple relationships. Let’s see why.

    Relationship problems linked to the purpose of childbirth

    Following the first wave of coronavirus infections, common sense suggests that as long as hospitals do not collapse again and containment again becomes necessary, most of the problems associated with the expansion of VOCID- 19 are already a thing of the past. However, this does not have to be the case in all cases.

    The health, economic and social crisis triggered by the coronavirus has forced many families to cross a period of relatively sudden changesFacing which it has not always been possible to prepare in an ideal way.

    And the truth is, this abnormal situation of change has not ceased yet, although we no longer have to spend much time at home. For some reason, we call this context “the new normal”: the lockdown is already over, but the current situation is not the same as it was before the pandemic hit the country.

    And it is that being able to walk, to go to work or to leisure and hospitality establishments is not the same thing as being able to do so after going through a phase of quarantine and almost absolute confinement. With the return to the streets, many problems disappeared, but also new ones have appeared due to the containment situation we went through not so long ago. And this is noticeable, for example, in the field of couples.

    These are the main reasons why forms of discomfort associated with childbirth can appear in a marriage or dating relationship.

    1. Discrepancies regarding the safety of exposing oneself to others

    This is one of the main reasons why the head of detention can fuel couple conflicts: asymmetries between what is perceived as safe and what is not.

    This is something that mainly affects couples who have regular relationships with their parents, who are elderly people.

    2. Changes in the distribution of household chores and parental responsibilities

    Couples with young children are forced to adapt their routine to a new situation. This brings a chaotic element to the relationship, plans for the immediate future can be greatly affected even by something as simple as not knowing if there will be a normal school year or if it will be all over the internet.

    3. Different expectations regarding the holidays

    For many people, especially those who are under more stress at work, it’s very frustrating not being able to have the vacation they had planned.

    In a phase of uncertainty such as the postpartum context, this gives rise to discussions, as the outside is safe enough to travel to many interesting holiday destinations, but the lack of knowledge of what is to come. in the coming weeks can cause fear of throwing. away from the money, or even barely able to get out. And in the face of that, it is very easy to relaunch the discussions and the old hostilities that had accumulated.

    4. Unequal family needs

    Assuming each member of the relationship has other living relatives they care about, it is not uncommon for a person to feel the lack of time with their loved ones more than the other, Either to help them or to visit them after having been unable to do so for months during the quarantine phase.

    Think, for example, of a person whose family is in another country and has not seen for months. Traveling would involve running the risk of not being able to return to normal and spending time without seeing your partner, either due to the lack of available flights or due to a forced quarantine imposed on those arriving from other states. at risk.

    We also think of someone who wants to visit their family while living with their partner and father, a population at risk of COVID-19 due to their age or illness.

    5. Mood changes

    For many people, anxiety also persists during the main phase of childbirth. This type of psychological alteration of an individual nature can give way to relational psychological problems.In other words, they affect two or more people. We think about the discomfort experienced by those who see the person they love suffer, but at the same time do not understand it mainly because they do not experience the present in the same way.

      Are you interested in couples therapy?

      If you are considering turning to couples therapy professionals to resolve an issue that is affecting your relationship, I invite you to contact me. I am a psychologist with over 15 years of experience in individual and couple therapy, and currently assist both in person at my psychology center located in Madrid and through online therapy. On this page you can see my contact details.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Biscotti, O. (2006). Couples therapy: a systemic perspective. 1a. ed. Buenos Aires: Lumen.
      • Campuzo Montoya, M. (2002). Human couple: their psychology, their conflicts, their treatment. Mexico: AMPAG.
      • Christensen, A .; Atkins, DC; Baucom, B .; Yi J. (2010). Marital status and satisfaction five years after a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional behavioral couples therapy to integration. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78 (2): p. 225 – 235.
      • Dattilio, FM and Padesky, CA (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
      • Sternberg, RJ (1987). Like vs love: a comparative assessment of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102 (3): pages 331-345.

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