The 6 uncomfortable truths about breaking up a couple

the couple love it is one of the most beautiful sensations a human being can enjoy, and knowing that someone is with you in good times and bad is one of those things that is worth living for.

In our article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”, we tell you how falling in love can make you feel in the middle of a climb, make you suffer on a descent, or make you feel the monkey for someone. This love is like a drug is very real, and it has some really curious side effects.

But love also ends …

But when the love is over, the couple go their separate ways, and the person with whom we had shared so many good times leaves our lives, the consequences of addiction to their hugs, kisses, smiles, etc., are so strong that they can lead to serious behavior. depressive and obsessive.

There are many reasons why a couple can break up: infidelity, loss of interest in each other, lack of communication … and it is difficult to learn to live without that special someone, because the emotional memory it reminds us again and again of those songs, those nooks and crannies, those trips, those follies, etc.

How to deal with a breakup?

Going through a breakup is not easy, but over time it can be overcome. Since the first step in moving forward is to accept that the relationship is over.

Here we show you the six uncomfortable truths about breaking up, So that you understand that we have all (or almost) suffered for someone at some point.

1. Dislove is not linear

Lack of love is not linear, but there are ups and downs, so this is one of the situations that can cause more contradiction in itself, especially in the first moments of the breakup. Although the lack of love follows a series of phases, we are always exposed to relive those moments of the past.

The psychologist and researcher at the Faculty of Psychology of UNAM, Rozzana Sánchez Aragón explains the following:

“The love duel is a process that becomes more complicated than that in which a loved one dies, because in the duel of death, through reasoning, there is a linear process of knowing that a relationship has ended, while ** the romantic break is given a cyclical process because there is always the possibility of having contact with the ex-partner again. ** This can stop the progress made in the search to overcome the relationship and relive the emotions, both positive and negative, which makes it more difficult and painful. “

This is not to say that the lack of love cannot be overcome, because the neural circuits that are activated during the fall in love weaken over time. But old love can be reactivated in certain situationsAnd that’s why psychologists recommend “all or nothing,” that is, not staying in touch with the person we’re in love with, at least for some time. This time can be longer or shorter depending on the intensity of the feeling and other aspects such as the individual’s self-esteem.

Unlike the loss of another loved one, in relationships there is emotional play and feelings of guilt, hatred are felt, Inferiority, etc., which can disrupt people’s emotional stability.

2. It is usually a difficult decision to make

As the lack of love is not linear and emotions weigh a lot in the decision to leave the couple, imposing reason in the face of the intensity of the feelings felt is very complicated. In addition, as indicated in the previous point, Self-esteem plays a big role and it’s quite common for many people, even after being very clear about the end of the relationship, to regret it later..

Working on self-improvement and self-development, and learning to love yourself as you are, is the best way to move forward with the new situation.

3. It hurts … and a lot!

The person who leaves the relationship can, in many cases, suffer less. But the person who stays usually feels more intense and lasting pain for not understanding the causes of the rupture, And may perceive the breakup as a personal failure, negatively affecting their well-being.

By Sánchez Aragó, the pain you feel after a breakup it can get even worse than the death of a loved one. After conducting a study analyzing emotions, thoughts and behaviors after the breakup, he concluded:

“When you are suffering the loss of a person of high emotional value, and the reason is death, you experience grief and it may take, but you know there is no way to see it again and therefore reasoning allows us to understand that there is no going back.

It is different in the romantic case because here we have the possibility to see the person again and to find him perhaps with another partner; this can create a difficult situation to overcome, as one feels that he is pseudo-adaptive to life and returns to a part of his life which is causing him severe pain. “

4. Mutual friends can lose

Break-ups are very painful and can have negative effects in different areas of our life if not overcome in a positive way. In fact, the couple is breaking up they can lead us to a Existential crisis which may even be necessary to grow emotionally. But when the negative emotions (anger, rage, etc.) caused by the breakup are not handled well, the person can go into a negative spiral that will affect their relationship with the people close to the partner, as you will recall. your “ex” and can heighten the obsession.

As we mentioned in the previous lines, the “all or nothing” is necessary to let the time pass and the closest friendships can also sufferAs they are a direct channel of information about what the other is doing. At other times, they are close friends who can get fed up, as they are often turned on because they sympathize and stand by our side.

5. You will feel lonely (at least for a while)

When you break up with someone daily routine and sharing much of your life with this person will change. Getting used to their affection and letting go of those intimate moments is usually the hardest thing to overcome. In fact, thinking that the good times you have shared will be shared with someone else can cause jealousy and complicate the subsequent (at least cordial) relationship with your “ex”.

many people they don’t know how to be alone and seek to fill the void they feel with someone else, without stopping to correct their own mistakes or strengthen their self-esteem, affected after the breakup. Over time, these moments of loneliness are overcome, but you have to stop for a while to find yourself, otherwise subsequent relationships can suffer.

6. You can be happy in love again

While at the time of the breakup, it may seem like whoever has been your partner so far is the one person you’re going to be truly happy with, this little voice is yours emotional dependence who is lying to you. In fact, time heals everything, and distance can be our ally if we want to find the best version of ourselves.

Human beings can adapt to a multitude of situations and we can be resilient. When the relationship ends, you may be having the worst time of your life and feeling sad and depressed. Fortunately, over time you will feel better and open your heart to another special someone.

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