Couples therapy is gaining more and more popularity and demand. This happens, among other things, because over time the stereotypical and mythical image that psychological intervention focuses only on individuals who have developed psychopathologies, and on the other hand, because the fact “d ‘going to the psychologist’ is quite normal these days. And also, of course, because of the effectiveness of this type of therapy and the development of new techniques and strategies designed to adapt to a wide variety of cases.
The latter is particularly important, because couples therapy can take many forms. In fact, the process applied to the people who use this service can vary considerably depending on the needs to be met and the objectives to be achieved, even if the context and the basic guidelines of the communication and the therapeutic relationship are the same. However, before establishing the plan to follow throughout the sessions, it is necessary to study the case and identify the fundamental problems which motivated the consultation.
The main areas for exploring problems in couples therapy
Although each case is unique, in general, in the early stages of couples therapy, particular emphasis is placed on exploring these possible sources of problems in living together and in romantic relationships. of those who go to the psychologist’s office.
1. Imbalances in the distribution of responsibilities
This section includes both household chores and child rearing (if applicable) and everything related to purchasing the commodities needed to live together. Of course, this is one of the areas where gender roles are most influential: It is common for women to be burdened with most of the household chores rather than having a professional life.
2. Imbalances in the time spent in the company of the other
It is very important to spend quality time with the other person, but not everyone appreciates it the same or has the right perception of what the other person wants in this regard. It is very common to assume that work always takes priority over free time spent with loved ones eg., As if this were part of an unspoken standard; it makes the other person become frustrated or even feel guilty about the possibility of asking the other person to work less or organize better.
3. Sexual dissatisfaction
Asymmetries regarding expectations, preferences and tastes about sex are often among the most common triggers of problems in a marriage relationship or marriage, and moreover, they are a taboo subject for many couples. Therefore, in couples therapy, it is often analyzed whether in the area of sexuality two people are satisfied, and if they are not, what is the reason.
4. Discussion management
Just knowing how to approach a discussion can make all the difference. For some people, it is simply the embodiment of a conflict of interest that can be resolved without resorting to attacks or any form of violence; for others, it is an ego struggle in which you have to impose yourself at all costs, and between these two options, there is a whole gray scale.
5. Self-esteem issues and insecurities
Personal insecurity and self-esteem issues they can affect couple dynamics in several ways: Not wanting to know the other person’s friends, not wanting to show their own nudity, assuming that the other person has to make all the decisions, etc.
6. Jealousy and dominant tendencies
Jealousy leads to feeling bad about not being able to control much of what the other person does. In extreme cases, they lead to mistreatment and in such cases it is not necessary to deal with the problem of couple therapy, but the legal process and seeking protection in the powers of the ‘State.
7. Differences in future plans
It has to do with the kind of commitment you want to make in that relationship, and the expectations of what you will be doing with your own life or where you would like the relationship to be. In many cases, it is difficult to deal with the gaps in this facet of the relationship, and professional support is sought to achieve this..
Are you interested in having couples therapy services?
If you are considering starting a couples therapy process, please contact us. Fr PsychoConsulting we specialize in psychological therapy in individual-centered sessions, as well as family and couple therapy, and we are currently making the online video call therapy format available to our clients. You will find us in our center located in Barcelona.
- Blow, AJ and Hartnett, K. (2005). Infidelity in Committed Relationships II: A Substantial Examination. Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy, 31: pages 217-233.
- Carreño, M. (1991). Psychosocial aspects of romantic relationships. Saint-Jacques-de-Compostelle: University of Saint-Jacques-de-Compostelle.
- Dattilio, FM and Padesky, CA (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
- Lepore, J. (2010). The rise of marriage therapy and other dreams of human improvement. New York: the New Yorker.
- Sternberg, RJ (1987). Like vs love: a comparative assessment of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102 (3): pages 331-345.