Have you spent time in a relationship that didn’t give you what you really wanted? Surely you have wondered at some point “what am I doing here”.
Many people have had the experience of finding themselves in relationships that don’t make much sense.they don’t quite understand how they got there and they still don’t understand how they stayed there.
Key ideas for knowing if you are in the right relationship
In this article we are going to give you 7 keys to choose your partner or that will help you assess if you are with the right person for you.
1. Work on self-knowledge
Before entering into a relationship, it is a good idea to do our homework build a healthy relationship with the one who accompanies us at all times, nosotros mismos.
Be very clear about who we are and our personality characteristics, both positive and negative, by knowing our tastes and what we base our beliefs on. Learn to manage our emotions by understanding everything that affects us, what we do not tolerate and what we are not ready to negotiate. We need to clarify everything we want and don’t want in a relationship.
We must give ourselves the time and the opportunity to cultivate self-esteem, trust and respect towards nosotros mismos, because what love and what comfort can I give and make others feel if I do not have it with myself ?
2. Reflect on shared values
It is well known that the pillars of a relationship are based on love, respect, trust and assertive communication; and yes, these are the values that will foster a healthy relationship, that’s why we need to compare our values with those of the other person and assess whether they match.
Of course, where love exists and we act out of love, the person we have by our side will be imbued with its fragrance, the affection, the attention, the tenderness and the details that it brings. , even if we speak and act out of love for ourselves, the person next to us will also receive it and feel loved, safe and confident.
Respect for ideas and individual spaces is fundamentalthere is nothing that makes us feel more fulfilled in a relationship than having the sense of freedom and confidence of being uno mismo as well as being able to enjoy separate shots.
In the same way, the style of communication of the other, because a healthy and assertive communication is essential so that we can say what we like or what we do not like out of affection and with the intention that the other feel comfortable with what we say, as well as being able to say no to something without feeling guilty.
3. Measure the degree of attraction
Another of the areas to take into account when choosing our partner is attraction, the one that brings us closer from the first moment and that makes us look at the other with emotion, in this physical form with the detachment of their qualities, in speaking, moving, when we walk, when we eat, how we smell and everything that makes us feel the chemical spark and say: this person has something, this person I love!.
This is an important part of the future relationship as she will be involved in the sexual sphere of the coupleand no, the sex life is not going to entirely depend on whether the spark is as intense as it was at the beginning, but it is undeniable that our partner must love us or we will not want to be with him.
Practice closing your eyes and thinking about that person without their physical form, think about what they say, how they say it, think about their sense of humor, how they react to unexpected situations , that’s how we know if the person you really love or not.
4. Pay attention to preferences
It is important to think about the tastes we have in common because it is one of the issues that keeps the couple active, share moments and create memories.
Trends in food, music, hobbies, activities, sports, dances, types of content we consume through reading and media, etc. All these elements make up the orchestra with which we write our song, from there are born the moments that we share where we have fun and are part of why we like to be with this person.
5. Investigate beliefs
Another important topic to consider is the beliefs we have about things.
What is in our head constitutes our mental structure; we must be clear about the origin of our ideas about religion, work, about our political position, what it means for us as a couple and family relationships, about raising children and their upbringing, as well as about our position vis-à-vis the planet we inhabit and what composes it in general.
In the communion of beliefs with our partner, the stability of the relationship will be fixed, these basic beliefs on which we will build it and probably form a family.
Without a doubt, the way we see the world conditions the way we act and react to it and its stimuli.
Whether we see it as a harmonious or hostile place, whether it makes us like it or not, and how we feel about inhabiting our space there. The way we perceive it influences the attitude with which we develop day to day in front of different circumstances.
Observe how the person with whom you want to start a relationship reacts and behaves (or that we already have one). The indicator is how you act, express and relate to others and everyday situations, if you are always offended, complaining and victimizing yourself by creating an irritating environment or if, on the contrary, you live life with relish and seek ways to move forward and practice resilience by generating a pleasant climate.
It shows us the vibe of the sea where our relationship is constantly sailing.
7. Value differences
Detecting strong time differences will prevent us from entering or staying in a difficult relationshipthat is, which compromise our well-being and our principles.
No, opposite poles do not attract. All types of relationships, both family and professional, friends and partners; from experience, we have realized that being with people who don’t have much in common, especially in coexistence, can turn a relationship into a boring or toxic one.
There will be differences, yes, the ones that make us laugh and make the relationship playful and fun. Also those that we do not like so much and that can make us uncomfortable, we must learn to accept differences or with intelligence and quality communication know how to negotiate them, understand our limits and understand that these are differences that do not do not affect the fundamental bases of the relationship.