The 7 myths of romantic love

In modern times and especially in western culture, a pattern of affectivity called romantic love was forged, Which is rooted in the idea of ​​monogamous bonds and relationships that are stable and resistant to any difficulty. This has given rise to countless myths that pervade the mindset of society, making love and relationships a bit deceptive.

While it’s relatively easy to fall in love, learning to love isn’t all that much. And in love, communication and problem-solving skills are aspects that need to be worked on in a relationship, and not resolved by letting Cupid do his thing.

    What is a myth?

    A myth is a belief, one more component in a whole structure of beliefs shared by a culture or a society, which accepts them as true. In general, myths are often a simplification on certain aspects of reality and have the capacity to influence, to a greater or lesser degree, our behavior.

    These beliefs appear to be grounded in the objectivity around us, but while it is sometimes difficult to tell them apart, they are not; which it causes the person to make a series of avoidable mistakes.

    Myths, both those related to romantic love and to any other domain, often act on people unconsciously; and although many of the following beliefs may seem blatantly wrong from reading them, they have a strong influence on how people think about love.

    Each person has their own mythology of love, based on their personal, family or cultural experiences. However, it is thanks to the media, cinema, literature, etc. that these beliefs have intensely invaded the mental framework of society, introducing ideas such as true love lasts forever, that there is only one perfect person in the world for us, or that jealousy is a guarantee of ‘love.

    Types of myths about romantic love

    Due to the long lasting impact of the idea of ​​romantic love on today’s culture, many myths roam the imaginations of people.

    In order to disarm these beliefs, or at least make the reader a little more aware of them, this article includes a small collection of the most popular and possibly harmful myths of the romantic panorama.

    1. Love can do anything

    Despite the temptation to believe it when you see it written, the idea that if there is love in this relationship is a sufficient guarantee to overcome any problem, is absurd. this myth it also works in the opposite direction, which suggests that if there are problems there is no love.

    This belief leads to the belief that in relationships considered perfect, people do not conflict with each other, and that respect, trust, and communication are the norm along with love.

    The possible consequences of this myth are above all, early or unnecessary breaks by not looking for solutions to specific problems, And an even more harmful consequence for the person and is that it endures any kind of bad situation or harassment in the name of love because it heals everything and can do everything.

    2. Love at first sight

    This superstition ranges from the belief in falling in love to the idea that chance interferes in some way to lead to a meeting between two people meant to be together.

    However, while the existence of a powerful affinity or attraction makes it easier to start any relationship, belief in such a powerful attraction this leads the person not to be able to perceive clearly the reality, Or even see what doesn’t really exist.

    Finally, this myth leads people to ignore relationships with very high potential for enrichment because they did not begin with a passionate coincidence, or on the contrary, to interpret this ardent “passion” as a test of love.

    3. Half an orange

    The long-awaited and haunted half-orange. The paradigm that encompasses this myth is that there is only one person in the length and breadth of the world who is ideal for everyone.

    The main conflict with this belief is the frustration it can generate when internalized as a rigid model. Getting the person to hold on to a bond just to think that they will never find another being as perfect for them and also to think that after a breakup, the possibilities are over.

    Likewise, if one considers that the concept of perfection is a pure ideal, it is practically impossible that no one fits into these patterns that the person imagines. On the contrary, it can be even more intimidating.

      4. The right person fulfills all aspects of life

      This myth includes phrases such as “we must share all of our tastes and hobbies”, “we are responsible for each other’s happiness”, “we are one person”, etc.

      The reader will surely recognize all these phrases heard in the mouths of others or even of oneself; but when read out of context, these expressions fall under their own weight.

      The effects of these statements are innumerable and, in the great majority of cases, negative; being the most important that of arouse an obsession with finding another person to start living, to make dreams come true or even to start being happy.

        5. Complete intercourse is irrefutable proof of love

        This myth goes hand in hand with love at first glance. In him the person firmly believes that if his love is true sex will always be surprisingly good.

        It is true that a healthy and fulfilling sex life is important in the development of a relationship, but neither love is a guarantee of this, nor a good sexuality a guarantee of love. It is absolutely necessary to know both your own body and that of the other, and to work on sexuality in the same way that any other aspect of the relationship is worked out.

        6. When you are in love, it is not possible to feel attraction for another person.

        However, at this point the reality is very different. Starting from the idea that love does not paralyze the will to feel attracted to others and that fidelity is a social construction, in which it is the couple themselves who decide on the type of commitment they want to make; it is very common to experience a kind of affinity with other people without this signifying that the couple is no longer desired, leaving in the hands of the same person the task of setting the limits of this attraction.

        7. Jealousy is a test of love

        The myth of love par excellence; being justified and fought almost in equal parts.

        In fact, only experience jealousy constitutes an indicator of the distress threshold when faced with another person’s idea, take what is considered to be his own. What the person thinks they should exclusively receive.

        Jealousy is simply a display of fear of losing what is perceived to be possession, which is the other person.

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