The 7 pillars of couples therapy

Have you ever wondered how couples therapy works? In other words, which explains why they do what psychologists specializing in this specialty do.

So good; Couples therapy is not simply a technique which, applied to romantic relationships, always fixes them according to the same magic formula. It is in any case a type of psychological intervention (that is to say carried out by professionals of psychology) in which different tools and methods are used to meet the needs of a given relationship, in taking into account its peculiarities.

This means that couples therapy is characterized by its plurality, the heterogeneity of its proposals and its approaches to the problem to be treated. Therefore, this task of experts in romantic relationships cannot be summed up in a single action or formula to strengthen the emotional bond between two people. In other words, there are many pillars of couples therapy which explain how it works. Let’s see what they are.

    The Pillars of Couples Therapy: Key Ideas to Strengthen the Relationship

    These are the key ideas that help you understand what couples therapy is and why it can be of great help to those who decide to attend such sessions with a psychologist or psychologist.

    1. Communication is the basis of everything

    Any relationship requires a constant flow of communication. In other words, dialogue must be part of the daily life of two people who form a couple.

    However, this is it a necessary but insufficient condition in itself for the bond of love to be strong; this characteristic can occur and, at the same time, discussions make the relationship turn sour, for example.

    2. Physical contact is crucial, beyond sex

    Relationships should allow for moments of physical contact and some intimacy. These moments, beyond the pleasant experiences, they provide emotional closeness: The feeling that with this person, you can act in a different way, to express yourself in a way that we do not express yourself with anyone else.

    Besides, this physical contact does not have to be sexual in all cases: there are people who do not feel such desires and impulses, and it does not pose a problem for them if they are with another person. compatible with their asexuality.

    3. Finding common interests and hobbies is a plus

    The idea that in love the opposite poles are attracted is a myth. While there are always exceptions, it is normal for the strongest and most successful relationships to develop between people who have a lot in common. This is why one of the pillars of couples therapy is create situations in which both find common interests, Which allow them to experience many stimulating moments together.

    4. Discussions should not be avoided

    Another of the pillars of couples therapy is that it is not necessary to avoid discussions, because if we are considering doing so, it is because a conflict has already arisen (big or small that turns in our heads.

    What to do with discussions, in any case, is manage them well and take them as a natural thing in any relationship between people who spend a lot of time together. That way, they won’t become just a ritual, one way to entertain-attack the other, because assuming the talks to be an anomaly leads to blurring their true purpose and ending up using them for everything.

      5. It takes time together

      Romantic relationships do not exist outside of our living conditions. A marriage in which the two of them work hard and return home late at night will hardly find any moments to share, and it depletes the health of that emotional bond. We need to find new ways of life, and do it in a coordinated and consensual way.

      6. It is normal to want to live beyond the couple

      A relationship is a commitment that encompasses many responsibilities, sacrifices and plans, but it is wrong to assume that the life of each of its members has to be reduced to that. Therefore, in couples therapy, you work for that everyone clarify what are the different ways in which they want to get involved in the relationship, And what times and what situations you prefer to reserve for yourself.

      7. It is important to learn not to prejudge

      Love is an intense psychological phenomenon because it encourages us to lose ourselves in what we are feeling in each moment that we share with the other person. However, you must also know how to adopt a distant perspective and as neutral as possible to assess why the other person is behaving the way they are and why we are behaving the way we are.

      If we are not able to do this, we run the risk of being constantly wronged, devoting our efforts more to making judgments about the morality of the other than to seeking effective solutions.

      Where to look for professional assistance?

      If you are interested in undergoing couples therapy to improve the state of your romantic or marital relationship, or to give yourself a second chance after going through a romantic crisis and triggering the breakup, you can count on the help of a professional. Wake up psychological counseling.

      Our team of highly qualified psychologists is present both in Madrid Capital and in several CAM towns: Leganés, Getafe and Móstoles. To see our contact details, click here.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Christensen A., Atkins DC, Baucom B., Yi J. (2010). “Marital Status and Satisfaction Five Years After a Randomized Clinical Trial Comparing Traditional Couples Behavior Therapy with Integrative Therapy.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78 (2): p. 225 – 235.
      • O’Donohue, W. and Ferguson, KE (2006). Evidence-based practice in psychology and behavior analysis. The behavior analyst today.

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