The 8 characteristics of falling in love (and how they affect us)

When we fall in love, our body experiences many sensations. Many lose their appetites because of this emotion because their stomachs, invaded by metaphorical butterflies, are not much to trot.

We say that we fell in love when we can’t stop thinking about someone, thinking about a lot of good things and ignoring or downplaying their flaws. We want him to love us, we cannot live without him.

Describing an emotion in a few lines is complicated, especially considering that there are many misconceptions about what it means to fall in love. Below we will dig a little deeper what are the characteristics of falling in loveexplaining how this psychological phenomenon related to love affects us and what biochemical processes occur in our brain when it appears.

    What is falling in love?

    It is common for certain emotional and psychological states to be confused, and this is the case with love and falling in love. These two emotions are certainly very similar, but they are not the same.

    First, we can say that love arises when a person is known deeply, when another is loved, and their good and bad things are accepted. However, falling in love can be considered as the initial state, the one in which the attraction appears, the desire to know the other more deeply.

    On the other hand, love is a feeling that a person has towards another whom he knows intimately and personally. To love someone in the sense of love, you must have spent a lot of time with that person, shared experiences together, and experienced all the good and bad of the other, accepting them to the fullest.

      Main features of falling in love

      Falling in love is the moment before establishing a romantic relationship. The two people do not yet know each other at all. Only a part is valued, the good and beautiful part, the most attractive part both physically and psychologically. Over time, these intense emotions will fade away, giving way to equally pleasurable but more subdued emotions associated with the romantic relationship.

      With that in mind, let’s look at a brief summary of the characteristics of falling in love.

      1. Desire for physical contact

      There is a strong desire for physical contact and intimacy with the person you have fallen in love with, whether in the form of hugs, kisses, caresses and / or sex.

        2. Desire for reciprocity

        For the sake of reciprocity, we refer to the want the other to be in love with us too.

          3. Fear of rejection

          When you fall in love with someone, you can’t imagine the other person not feeling the same way. He is afraid of being rejected by the other person.

          4. Lack of concentration

          When you fall in love, it’s normal to lose your focus, have frequent negligence and villains in their daily tasks.

            5. Frequent thoughts about the other person

            It’s inevitable that you’re constantly thinking about the other person you’re in love with. “

            6. Nerves and anxiety

            When you’re close to the person you’re in love with there are signs of anxiety and nervousness, such as a fast heartbeat, stuttering, and an inability to speak clearly. how nervous he is.

              7. Interest in the tastes of the other person

              The attraction to that special someone makes us take an interest in their tastes, trying to imitate them so that they feel interested in us as well.

              8. Idealization of the other person

              During the first few moments when you are in love with someone, you can only see the positive in the other person, that is, the person you are attracted to is idealized. We tend to ignore the negative aspects of the other person.

                How long does this emotional state last?

                Falling in love is a phase of lust, passion and unbridled feelings. This is only possible when you are immersed in a situation of uncertainty and a certain obsession with another person, without stopping to think about it. This state of uncertainty is what allows the emergence and maintenance of passion.

                The union of love between two people is a dynamic process, constantly evolving and which, over time, takes different forms. The type and durability of the relationship will depend on various aspects, such as personality traits, current circumstances, and the evolution of the relationship.

                There are many couples who they fall into the belief that if they are not in love, it means that they do not want each other. As we mentioned, falling in love is the emotion of the early stages of a relationship and is a matter of degrading time, from passion to affection, to mutual respect and to experiencing great times and others that they are not so much.

                There are people who need these intense emotions to fall in love and when their relationship is no longer offered, they have doubts about the possibility of continuing with him. They are addicted to the dose of serotonin that the brain releases during the early stages of meeting someone..

                Falling in love has an expiration date. There is a debate about when to stop being in love, but there is no doubt that there will be a time when you stop feeling the intense emotions that were there at the beginning, and that is completely normal. . Some say that this phase should last between 2 and 3 years, maximum 4, while there are more pessimistic but based on scientific evidence that falling in love lasts between 6 and 8 months.

                To fall in love, we can achieve a stable relationship. Passion takes a back seat and gives way to emotional exchange and reciprocity, as well as a sense of worry about whether the other person is okay and wants to take care of themselves when they are going through a bad sequence. This is where many couples run into trouble, feel disappointment, and doubts whether this is forcing them to continue the relationship. These difficulties can be overcome by going to couples therapy, by learning to improve the relationship, even if sometimes the only solution is to break up the couple.

                  The biochemistry of love

                  A lot of things happen in our brain when we fall in love. The biochemistry of the brain is profoundly altered when we meet someone and he or she “tilí” to us. Initially, our brain secretes serotonin, known as the hormone of happiness. Gradually, he adapts to this feeling of euphoria, similar to that of drug addicts in the face of their drug doses, and serotonin levels drop.

                  With that, the initial love story goes downhill until it goes away, as the brain adjusts to serotonin levels and is no longer as excited. It is then that the love of the aforementioned couple will appear, in which there is no longer so much passion or lust, but a relationship of mutual concern and acceptance of what is right and what is wrong. with the two lovers settles down.

                  Serotonin isn’t the only one involved in falling in love. During this phase, high intensity sensations are also associated with the manifestation of high levels of dopamine, testosterone and norepinephrine in the brain. All this brain chemistry is believed to be responsible for making us feel euphoric, hyperactive, and unwilling to eat during the first few moments of falling in love.

                  Bibliographical references

                  • Fisher, Helene (1993). Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Deviate. Penne.
                  • Hatfield, E. (1987). Love. To RJ Corsini (ed). Psychological Journal, 93: 258-268.
                  • Martin, L. (2009). Erotomania, love and falling in love. Contradictions. Tower. Assoc. Esp. Neuropsiq., 29 (103): 157-169.
                  • Ortega and Gasset, J. (2006). Studies on love. Madrid. Alliance.
                  • Sternberg, RJ (1999). Love is like a story. Planet Group (GBS), Paidós. New York.

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