The 8 psychological pillars to overcome a breakup

Romantic breakups can be a very intense and painful process that most people have gone through at some point in their lives.

There are many ways to deal with them, for better or for worse, and this means that in some people they can leave a very painful emotional mark due to the type of experience they have had in this process. In the most serious cases, this discomfort results in psychological problems; it has to do with not being able to live a normal life and having trouble entering romantic relationships with new people.

With the aim that these ruptures do not generate such a strong impact on people’s lives and can be overcome by anyone, in this article you will find a series of useful tips to overcome a romantic breakup.

    8 key tips for overcoming a breakup

    Apply these guidelines to learn how to handle the breakup in the best possible way.

    1. Don’t lock yourself in

    As in any grieving process, in a sentimental breakdown it is often necessary to share the pain with other people, Especially with the family or friendship circle, which is usually also the one that has witnessed all the phases of the relationship since its inception.

    Shutting down and trying to get over the pain without outside help can be counterproductive and lead to a much more painful situation. And it is that with the support of the intimate circle of relatives, the person will be able to overcome the emotional breakdown in a much more effective way and in less time.

    2. Accept and manage pain

    The pain and suffering resulting from the breakup are perfectly normal feelings; they are the sign that in our lives there is a paradigm shift, because our daily life becomes very different, among other things. For that, the solution is not to try to actively block these feelings.

    It should be remembered that in order to overcome the breakup, we must accept negative emotions as something necessary to carry out the grieving process.

      3. Looking to the future

      The feeling of intense suffering and pain in the first few weeks after the breakup is usually accompanied by great nostalgia, a constant remembrance of the other person, and an idealization of the past next to them.

      To overcome this phase, it is better to look ahead and de-idealize the common past with the ex-partner. This can be achieved, for example, by noting the feelings and beliefs that come to mind when thinking about the relationship that has ended and analyzing those ideas critically.

      4. Understand the breakup

      Sometimes it can be difficult to get over a breakup because you don’t know the causes, and especially if you aren’t the one who decided to break up with the other person.

      To overcome the breakup in a relatively short time and finally achieve a state of well-being and emotional balance, it helps a lot to have an explanation of the factors that triggered the breakup.

      But it should be done without stressing the moral aspect of what happened: it doesn’t matter who was to blame for what, but what were the signs that indicated the presence of serious problems in the state of the relationship. It is positive that every now and then we can think of these memories in distant ways, based on the description of what happened.

      Doing this overcomes the breakdown as it provides a constructive component in the process of a situation that promotes learning.

      5. Accept the facts

      Another aspect that emerges from the above is that it is essential acceptance of the facts that have arisen with regard to this rupture. You have to accept the other’s will and our own naturally, and not try too hard to get it back or feel bad about no longer wanting to be with it, depending on the case.

      6. Change of habits

      A useful strategy is to change habits, by fully accept the change in lifestyle.

      It is particularly recommended to acquire healthy lifestyle habits linked to sport and sustained physical activity, as they help to get rid of intrusive thoughts and to fight depressive and anxious symptoms.

      7. Take time for yourself

      Learning to be alone with yourself is essential after a romantic break-up. In addition to seeking the support of friends and family, it is also important to spend time alone to find the well-being within oneself, rather than desperately seeking external stimuli not to think about the ex-partner.

      This aspect is vitally important, because only by learning that happiness begins with oneself can we find it in others as well.

      But at the same time, care must be taken to isolate too much; we must avoid spending long periods of time almost unrelated to someone important to us, because in a period of psychological vulnerability this can increase the risk of the onset of psychological disorders.

      8. Go see a specialized psychologist

      Whether you have been able to overcome the breakup with your ex-partner on your own or not, it is strongly recommended that you contact a psychologist specializing in the breakups to be achieved. a process of self-knowledge and personal growth.

      With a specialized psychologist, you can obtain solutions adapted to your specific case, more effective and lasting.

      Are you looking for psychological support?

      If you are interested in psychological support services because you suffer from emotional or behavioral issues, please contact us. Fr Advanced psychologists you can find the support of a team of mental health experts with 20 years of professional experience. You will find our contact details here.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Dattilio, FM and Padesky, CA (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
      • Lopez-Cantero, E. (2018). The Breakup Check: Exploring Romantic Love Through Relationship Breakups. Philosophia (Ramat Gan), 46 (3): pages 689-703.
      • Verhallen, AM et. at. (2019). Breaking up the romantic relationship: an experimental model to study the effects of stress on symptoms of depression. PLoS One, 14 (5): e0217320.

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