We often talk about love and falling in love, two terms that can be confusing and seem too, but they are not. Therefore, in this article, we will explain what these differences are and the correct meaning of each of these concepts.
Differences between falling in love and loving
We also tend to think, moreover, that love is linked to the romantic, but this is not always the case. In the following lines, you can find the differences between the two phenomena.
1. Obsession, desire and addiction
Falling in love is a very intense sensation, which can develop quickly and which has a lot to do with the neurochemical cascade that occurs in our brain and we told you in our article “The chemistry of love: a very drug. powerful”.
In this neurochemical marriage, neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin or norepinephrine are involved, so it is often said that love (in fact it should be love) is like a drug.
Falling in love usually produces very intense emotions. and the person experiences a kind of transformation in which their perception changes. This is why they say that falling in love is blind, because the person idealizes their lover, keeps thinking about him or her and feels full of energy. But this stage lasts a while and the brain, like with medication, gets used to it. This is where relationships stay alive or not, where the most mature and rational love is demonstrated, and where it is time to work so that the couple does not go their separate ways.
2. Different ways of loving
We often use indiscriminate love and infatuation. While love and falling in love are not the same, not everything is romantic love. There is, for example, maternal love and self-love. In other words, there are different ways to love.
Moreover, in relationships, they can also be characterized by different types of love, as explained by the triangular theory of love proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, which you can find in our article “The triangular theory of love. ‘love of Sternberg’.
Love and falling in love are complex phenomena, as are romantic relationships.. Since in love the emotions are very intense and the neurochemical cascade occurs which affects the perception of individuals, it is also usually a more irrational phenomenon, in which the lover sees his partner as perfect, maximizing their positive attributes and minimizing its flaws. However, love is more rational and the person does not feel this overwhelming desire and obsession to be with the other person.
4. The passage of time
Falling in love can appear soon after meeting the person because expectations, physical attraction, are at stake., The mystery, etc. Love, on the other hand, is a motivation that takes time to appear and has more to do with affection and communication.
5. Image of perfection
Since love is more rational, it doesn’t create that idyllic image of the other person. Instead, falling in love makes us feel “drugged”, constantly thinking about the other, the one we have on a pedestal. If you want to know the difference between falling in love and mature love, you can read our article “Mature love: why is second love better than first?”.
6. Live in a cloud
When we meet someone and go through the stage of falling in love, it seems like we’re in a cloud. It’s like being in a phase of mania and our perception of life is positive.
This person makes us feel on the rise, as if time is not passing. However, when we love someone, we feel a great love for that person, but we don’t necessarily feel in a cloud because their presence no longer triggers the intense reactions they triggered during the fall in love.
7. Depth or shallowness
Since falling in love usually appears faster and more intensely than love, it can often be more superficial than love. Falling in love is characterized by a love so intense that even madness can invade us..
Love, on the other hand, has more to do with the depth of feelings, as it is purer and common sense predominates. After falling in love there may be times when love will come, but sometimes not.
8. Selfishness vs. genuine intentions
Because of the depth of feelings, love also tends to produce more sincere and deeper intentions. Just think of the love of mother and son.
9. Falling in love as a phase of love
Some authors claim that romantic love has a number of phases. The initial phase would refer to falling in love, and according to Dorothy Tennov, this phase is called Limerencia. It is a stage in which lust, enthusiasm and a strong desire to be with the other predominate. Euphoria and positive mood are characteristic. The same goes for obsession, fancy thoughts, and fear of rejection.
- You can read more about the stages of love in our article “The 3 stages of love and its characteristics”
What science says about love and falling in love
Psychologists, sociologists and doctors have taken an interest in this complex phenomenon, in an attempt to decipher its reasons, how it happens and what are its main characteristics.
But … What does science say about love and falling in love? If you want to know the results of the latest scientific research on this subject, which allow us to decipher the great mystery of the influence of love and falling in love on our brains and our behavior, you can read our article “The love and fall in love love: 7 amazing surveys “.