When infidelity becomes present in a love bond, it generates in him a crisis or conflict with the breaking of pre-established agreements. These crises are accompanied by intense anxiety and distress, which can devastate the bond.
Although infidelity has different interpretations in each of the members of the couple, we know that it is associated with the emotions that accompany it, such as indifference, fear of abandonment, anger, anxiety, feelings of injustice, anxiety, distrust, feelings of loneliness. …
How to proceed when it becomes present?
Infidelity is a complex process that occurs within a relationship, an emotional-loving bond; it is the consequence of a certain number of factors which surely determine it: sexual, familial, social, etc.
When situations of infidelity in the couple become present, the rupture of what had been pre-established at a given moment in the bond is generated; this rupture generates a crack between the two, which is difficult to repair in some casesgenerating in its continuity mistrust, ideas of control, guilt, comparisons and conflicts.
Cheating is looking away and paying attention to another person or situation outside of the bond. This can be due to several reasons, depending on each partner and the interpretation given to it.
The triggers of infidelity
Sometimes couples lose comfort in their routine. The monotony or absence of day-to-day sensations of certain stimuli that were present at the beginning can facilitate that certain members, voluntarily or involuntarily, search outsideinterpreting that he cannot retrieve these stimuli with his partner.
There are patients who show in the therapies that looking out of the connection has generated new sensations for them both physically and emotionally, such as finding internal movements or sensations, feeling attracted, looked at, loved, listened to, etc. This may be due to the pleasure-producing hormones that become present in such cases.
Infidelity is accompanied, in some cases, by indifference in the couple, the feeling of not being taken into account, ignored. And it causes a lot of pain to those who go through it.
On the other hand, it has been found that people with unfaithful traits have certain structures in their personality, usually being very jealous peoplewith traits of very low self-esteem, insecure, needing to be looked up to and liked by others.
Can the bond be re-established when infidelity crosses it?
Raise awareness of the circumstances that led one of the members to break the agreement it will give you the opportunity to try to remedy it, it is not a question of justifying what happened but of recognizing that this is what I mobilized or lacked in the current link to look and outward attention.
Be honest in the things you feel inside, first with yourself then with those who share life and the bond, be able to put words in the couple what are the things that are starting to generate discomfort, from habituation or lack of feelings, power also to generate new proposals in the bond, new forms between the two, maintaining the affective foundation as a basis.
Understand that life is a constant movement, that we are constantly evolving and changing, progressing through evolutionary steps and learning from them, results in the incorporation of new learning and constant processes. Thus, at each stage it is likely that the needs and desires that cross it are also different and this does not imply in all cases a disaffection.
The absence of speech affects the victim and the partner, who it ignores the new needs that come into play. This will give both of them the creation of new agreements, new relationship formats, leaving both members in absolute freedom to choose whether to stay or leave the bond if the agreement cannot be restored.
This honesty, this putting into words, with the responsibility that the affective bond represents, is from which one can choose permanence or separation. If you don’t explain what’s going on, you won’t be able to change the binding issuessilence being the main protagonist.
When for some reason it is impossible to put your feelings into words, you may need the support of a professional to help you with active, neutral and objective listening to process what is happening. pass.
Couple therapy is a space of registration between the two members, feeling accompanied to go through the difficulties that arise and that cannot be managed within the bond.
Saying how you feel honestly and sincerely may or may not appeal to the listener, but also it gives you the freedom to choose to stay or leave the link if you wishresponsibly, that being the most important thing.