The myth of the orange half: no couple is ideal

The expectations we have of our partner and irrational beliefs they can cause great anxiety and create many disappointments. What if I missed the train and that was my only chance to be happy? Why is my partner not meeting my needs? Why haven’t I found my orange half yet?

That is why Knowing how to manage a relationship is also, in part, knowing how to adapt to reasonable expectations so as not to fall into a fundamentalism of the romantic which draws us and the other away. Let’s see how to achieve this goal.

Bury the myth of the orange half

First of all, it’s worth it stop thinking about the myth of the half-orange so that this idea does not condition us. This view of romantic relationships leads us to view someone as an extension of their own body, something without which we cannot function well until we are complete.

The half-orange image not only serves to challenge our ability to serve ourselves and become an autonomous subject with the ability to decide, but it reduces the other person to the machine condition designed to read our minds and meet our needs.

the results

While the semi-orange metaphor may sound very romantic and tender, this turns out to be a deceptive way to fill a void. Either way, if we believe that the other is an extension of our own body, it is very likely that we will end up pressuring that person to meet our needs with the hope that ‘she will think and act according to these needs.

When we irrationally believe that a perfect complementarity exists, we demand our relationship to adjust, surprised at how we connected and coupled at first, when it is easier for us to notice only the facets that we positively appreciate. like that, overestimating novelty and youthfulness can lead to a sense of loss when routine appears.

So, on a theoretical level, the other would complete us and make us feel happy and full of love, but in reality the only thing we do is put too many expectations on the other, which generates conflicts, disappointments, sadness, etc.

What to do?

It’s worth flipping the semi-orange metaphor. Why not go from a half-dependent, unhappy orange and act like a free and emotionally self-sufficient whole orange?

The key is to realize that we don’t need anyone to make us happy, to get rid of our irrational beliefs and expectations. Otherwise, why do we love our partner as he is?

Lovers come and go but the myths of love set in. If we are able to abstract ourselves from these cultural impositions on love and romance that we see in the movies, we will surely be able to value our sentimental partners as they are: unique and irreplaceable people, with errors and virtues who, for whatever reason, have enjoyed our trust. You have to learn to celebrate it.

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