The psychological consequences of emotional dependence

People who suffer from emotional addiction will disproportionately describe how their emotions are at the expense of their partner. Any little detail can be taken as a sign that something is wrong with the relationship and causing tremendous pain to the person with the problem.

It should be noted that emotional dependence is not love, but excessive dependence on the couple hidden behind the nuclear belief that “life ends without this person”.

How do I know if I have an emotional addiction?

People who have this problem often express some of the beliefs discussed below:

  • The fear of breaking up the relationship or of being abandoned by your partner is usually present. This leads in many cases to an excess of control of the couple, in order to avoid any event that could harm the relationship.

  • In order to avoid breaking up, the emotionally dependent person will forgive a lot of things that they did not see themselves able to ignore before starting the relationship. It is common to find that the couple is not accepted as is, however, it is planned to ignore it in the hopes that one day that will change.

  • Many times the dependent person voluntarily isolates himself from the rest of the world. Their desire is to be with their partner all the time, which becomes their top priority as the rest of their relationship takes a back seat.

  • The need for constant displays of love is also another manifestation that such a problem may exist. And if not, any signal that can be interpreted in such a way that the couple is not their priority, can be experienced as a terrible betrayal or a great threat to the relationship.

  • Transform your personality or style to please your partner. The point of reference on which to act is the other. Sometimes certain characteristics of the declining couple can be idealized.

  • At the end of all of this, the dependent person feels that they need their partner. It is not a real need, but the person experiences it as such.

What are the short-term consequences of suffering from emotional addiction?

The first consequence at first glance is that these people live with great suffering.. They can end up being in control of their partner all day long, depending on what they are doing or not doing, and have increasingly intense emotional reactions when the couple does not know how the addict should do it.

In any relationship, it’s easy for our partner to end up behaving at some point in a way that we don’t like and to continue despite the upheavals and anger. The dependent person may find that, despite their complaints, their partner does not change. It can take a toll on your self-esteem because you could make the mistake of not considering yourself good enough. “[email protected]”Like for your partner to change for him or her.

In fact, self-esteem and emotional dependence are closely related to each other, and besides, they are cross-referenced. Having high self-esteem can act as a protective factor against emotional addiction, as the beliefs we discussed above lose their meaning.

People who suffer from low self-esteem end up passing on their “need” for love to their partner. By showing their need, they will cross all existing borders and accept situations that they do not like so as not to lose their partner, which can end up generating very toxic relationships.

Violence can sometimes be present, although we are not talking about physical violence as such. There may be humiliations, coercion, and manipulation that will be overlooked in order to continue the relationship.

When to seek help

In many cases, the consequences of emotional dependence are trivialized. However, the person who has this problem eventually finds that many areas of their life are affected.

Many people quit their jobs or make important decisions in their lives based on their partner’s wants and needs, regardless of what they really want. It is also very common that other personal relationships, such as friends and family, are put aside to devote all the available time to your partner, so that in many cases your social circle is drastically reduced.

In addition to these relationships tend to become very toxic, so in the end we can see that a lot of facets of life can be disrupted as a result of this problem. If you feel like you’ve entered a loop that you don’t know how to get out of, it might be time to ask for help.

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