Toxic marriages: 10 signals to detect them

Getting married and starting a family is a goal and a desire of many people, because the idea of ​​getting married is practically a social imposition. But marriage, in many cases, can be a very rewarding experience. Without a doubt, finding that person who makes you so happy and with whom to spend the rest of your life by their side is truly sensational.

However, weddings are not always a waitAnd the suffering they cause by living this type of toxic relationship can seriously affect your emotional health. Toxic marriages do exist, and in this article we show you 11 signs to spot them.

    Signs to detect a toxic marriage

    A toxic marriage is one in which the rights of a member of the relationship seem to disappear, and the relationship is characterized by constant suffering and conflict. It is common that when people live immersed in this toxic situation, they are not really aware, largely due to inertia, habit, and because in many cases there is some addiction. emotional towards the spouse.

    Below is a list of signs that indicate if you are having a toxic marriage. However, it should be noted that not all couples can go through bad stages, and the manifestation of any of these characteristics in a timely manner does not necessarily refer to a toxic marriage. With that said, the signs for detecting a toxic marriage are as follows.

    1. Emotional dependence and codependency

    Emotional dependence makes marriage an asymmetrical relationship and causes one member to gain ground and exercise control over the other. The cause of this phenomenon is usually the insecurity of the dependent person, unable to connect with himself, and his happiness depends on others, causing great fixation or dependence on the couple.

    Emotional codependency, on the other hand, although being a phenomenon just as harmful as the previous one, occurs when a member of the couple is “addicted” to the dependence of his partner, that is, to the need of the partner. help. And worries for his own good. -being. It’s a kind of controller and manipulator, but quieter. Both phenomena interfere with the proper functioning of the marriage and therefore cause a lot of pain to the spouses..

      2. Possessive and controlling behaviors

      In toxic marriages, there are certain behaviors of control and possession by one of the members of the couple.. This exerts a great influence on the other, who loses voice and opinion in the relationship and observes how his freedom is affected. For example, marriage decisions are usually made by a single member, who controls the other’s accounts and expenses and even their social networks. All decisions go through him, and he is usually aggressive if the other gives his opinion on the matter.

      3. Limited social life

      Limited social life is also characteristic of toxic marriages, So that one or both members of the couple no longer have close ties with other people. This can happen due to the aforementioned controlling behaviors, but also due to excessive emotional dependence or fixation by the partner. Healthy behaviors are those in which the members of the couple continue to maintain their own space, which includes, among other things, their own friendships.

      4. Jealousy

      One of the most common toxic behaviors in marriages is jealousy. Low self-esteem is usually one of the origins of this type of behavior, which causes jealous people to emerge inaccurate beliefs about reality and, as a result, they engage in obsessive behaviors. Jealousy causes pain for both spouses and over time they make marriage hell.

      To a greater or lesser extent, it is possible to experience some degree of jealousy when we care about someone. But in such a marriage, toxic jealousy can manifest itself, for example, with behaviors such as: when a spouse constantly asks questions about the schedules and questions his partner’s facts, he gets angry. when the other spends time with friends, he secretly monitors Facebook and is even able to go out looking for the other partner when he doubts his word.

      5. Frequent conflicts

      Logically, all of these points above lead to frequent conflicts. But in addition, communication in such marriages is often ineffective and therefore can cause serious relationship problems. The toxic relationship does not breathe a climate of tolerance or encourage reconciliation, but on the contrary: the problem tends to worsen and the suffering increases.

      6. He is in pain

      Therefore, toxic marriages cause a lot of suffering and pain.. And the more time you spend in such a relationship, the worse the consequences can be emotionally or on the self-esteem of either spouse. Since the relationship is asymmetrical, it is inevitable that suffering will arise.

      7. Handling

      Manipulative and emotional blackmail behaviors frequently occur in toxic marriagesAs one of the two members acts in accordance with their interests, blames, disturbs and frightens the other.

      The causes of these behaviors can be varied, although they are usually due to low self-esteem, which causes one of the spouses to constantly seek confirmation of their partner’s love, causing manifestations that the other person will not leave.

      • To deepen this subject, I invite you to read our article: “Emotional blackmail: a powerful form of manipulation in the couple”

      8. Loss of personal growth

      People who live immersed in a toxic marriage stop growing as people. Whether it is because they are emotionally dependent, because suffering can overwhelm them, or because they enjoy fragile self-esteem. The truth is, they put personal development behaviors aside. and they drown in the toxic dynamics of marriage.

      9. Lack of respect

      Respect is fundamental in any type of relationship, whether it is a couple, a family or a friendship. When respect is lost, it is impossible for the relationship to work and for the spouses to be happy in marriage.. Lack of respect can manifest itself in different ways, for example: when a marriage member constantly humiliates the other in public and private or is simply not interested in their partner’s successes.

      10. Relationship obsession

      Toxic relationships end up becoming a vicious cycle that it becomes difficult to break out of. Low self-esteem and emotional dependence cause spouses to stay together despite the pain, increasingly eroding the relationship.

      These can become obsessed with the relationship, So that no one breathes and that there is neither respect nor communication and therefore love disappears and conflicts are present again and again.

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