In life, there will always be the need to love and to be loved; but… how hard is it to do? Love tends to bring with it a variety of problems that, on a thousand occasions, we fail to decipher.there are questions that take your breath away and still do not want to continue.
However, no matter how many bitter experiences you have, you are always eager to find that ideal partner you have always dreamed of, that person with whom you can be yourself without fear of rejection; that person who can become your best friend, your love of company.
The search for this person is constant, this is done through friends, work, university, neighborhood, church and even on internet pages; It’s true!, there are dating pages where everyone is looking for that dream couple, in which they spend hours and hours analyzing each profile with the idea of finding the right one.
What happens when you don’t find your “soul mate” at the desired time?
Often you go through an attack of anxiety and depression which can shatter self-esteem, making you think you weren’t fit for real love; It causes you to pay attention to any individual with the idea of not being alone, but it will generate more feelings of loneliness, frustration and indignation with life.
Why does this happen? We are so focused on what they are going to say, on the parameters of society and even on the “happiness” of the other, that we aim to fit in without understanding that before aspiring to live true love, you must first love yourself.
It is important to recognize yourself in order to be able to share your life with someone special; you have to be that person you want to be with. In other words, if you don’t like being alone, if you don’t enjoy it… How can another person enjoy your company? If you’re not having fun, that means you have nothing good to give, since you can’t give what you don’t have. Loving you, valuing you, having fun, getting to know you, having fun is the most important thing before you meet someone. When you ask someone to share your life, you must be sure that it will be good company; otherwise you will be wasting your time with someone who will only stagnate your life and not let you enjoy it freely.
Many times I hear repeating “the train is already leaving me”, “we are leaving with the wrong one, while the indicated one is leaving” this, with the aim of not spending time alone; Which often makes me ask: were you so bored that you needed to be with someone to have fun? What if you were an elderly person? Does love have age limits? But what I wonder the most is where is your self-esteem? Why are you so focused on what they will say?
What to do
To find true love, you must first know yourself, learn to be alone; understand what your expectations are and be clear about your desires, your goals and your dreams so that you don’t go wrong when you find someone, so you’ll stop looking for someone who makes you happy, because… you are already ! You will be looking for someone who completes your happiness and accompanies you on life’s journey.
To achieve this, you must have a lot of patience and be aware of reality, remember that the only thing you can choose in your life is your partner, since you did not choose your parents, nor your brothers and sisters, let alone your children; but to your love of company yes, with whom to share your life should be a task well done, calmly and without haste.
What happens if I make a mistake of choice?
nothing happens, caer para levantarse nunca será caer; you must understand that all people are different and that the only sure thing in life is death; Although you are looking for this ideal person and you are careful to find him, you can go wrong by choosing him; The only thing you need to be clear about is not to lose your north, and to understand that true love, true love is one that transforms over the years in company; it is the love needed to grow old, to share the last years of life.
Many people make a mistake when choosing, or maybe they chose hastily due to social pressure, but over time they realize that the chosen person is causing them emotional and psychological damage; and they stay there, putting aside their happiness because of unfounded fears in society, the economy and even children; children who will leave bigger and who you cause more harm by staying.
So keep that in mind you have the ability to move forward and find a true love with whom you can share everything you dreamed of.
True love is who it pushes you to be better every day, who accompanies you to live and not the one who wants you to leave your life to live his; is who is with you to share the gift of life.
Where can I find that person with whom I can share my life?
There is no specific place where you can find it; you just have to be patient and in the meantime enjoy life, get to know yourself, make an improved version of yourself every day, go to therapy to eliminate all those ghosts of the past that oppress you; in this way, you will find security within yourself, and when you have this good company, you will feel that you are living intensely even with all the ups and downs that arise (which will arise because there is no perfect relationships).
But since you have already done your part, we trust you; you will be able to vibrate, laugh with all the crazy things and events that are in a relationship; and although you enjoy your solitude, you will want to share every moment with this person, you will not want them to go away for a moment, but when they are away, you are so sure that you do not suspect of what she does.
If there are arguments in the relationship, why didn’t I choose well?
Although it is true that everyone is imperfect, no one will come into your life to make it perfectsince life is like a roller coaster, there are ups and downs.
The differences between you and your partner will often cause conflict, but despite everything, you will always feel that it was the best decision you could have made and you will be grateful to God, to life, to whom you believe, because that you think is the best gift you can have.
What you have to be aware of is that with the differences there is no violence of any kind; if there is, you need to ask for help.
To conclude, true love is no different from companionship; these two are the set of true love, which merges with another person, but must be the one you have with yourself. Truly loving you is necessary because you will be your company throughout life; if you still feel that you have failed to truly love yourself, do not hesitate to seek professional help to do so, believe me it is the most wonderful thing that can exist in life , a psychologist will help you, Invest in yourself!