What is Cinderella Complex and Why Does It Affect Women?

More modern generations have shown that fairy tales and princess stereotypes have seriously damaged the way women see themselves (and their own misinterpreted love stories).

This social phenomenon based on traditional gender roles gave rise to this is known as the Cinderella complex.

What is the Cinderella complex?

Simply defined, the Cinderella complex is a psychological phenomenon that predisposes women to value themselves and their life according to the proximity of a protective figure: the couple.

In this way, this psychological and social phenomenon promotes the appearance of a self-image characterized by the expectation of the appearance of a couple supposed to give meaning to our lives and, in cases where one already has a partner, it fuels the creation of a relational dynamic based on dependence.

American writer Colette Dowling wrote a book in which she tells how women with the Cinderella complex have a certain fear of independence and relate their happiness to their emotional state, leading to the insatiable and mistaken search for the ‘blue prince. To achieve absolute happiness.

    Cinderella as a female model

    The psychological pattern of women with Cinderella syndrome has three basic characteristics: an unconscious desire to be cared for, saved and cared for constantly by other people, even strangers to the sentimental couple.

    This type of behavior can be explained by several factors. And it is that according to Colette Dowling, its root is in a sum of motivations: of the way in which the woman is educated to certain social rules which cause the women to feel this, which makes a simple explanation of the problem. difficult.

    One way or another, the cultural context of masculinity continues to fuel these kinds of attitudes and life philosophies that mark strong distinctions between what is specific to the feminine and what is appropriate to the masculine. The first is fragile and needs to be cared for from the outside, and the second is strong, firm and self-sufficient. Combining gender roles that derive from this polarized perception of man and woman creates, among other things, the Cinderella complex.

    his characteristics

    Some of the features of the Cinderella complex are as follows:

    • Low self-esteem.
    • Constant dependence.
    • Fear of leaving the comfort zone.
    • Idealization of the couple.

    If you identify with any of these symptoms, the best way to combat them or transform this behavior is to seek happiness without a partner and with the virtues you have for yourself, without having to wait for anyone to come and change. notice.

    In case you are unable to overcome these fears and attitudes, it is ideal to seek the help of a specialist who will help you change your beliefs and habits.

    Is it a mental disorder?

    The Cinderella complex it is not a concept used in clinical psychology or psychiatry to name a mental disorder, it simply describes a certain type of behavior fueled by habits, stereotypes about the differences between men and women.

    However, if the behavior patterns you describe are very pronounced and interfere with the person’s quality of life or their environment, this may indicate the presence of symptoms characteristic of borderline personality disorder or personality disorder. Personality by dependence.

    5 keys to being an independent woman

    It is very common to hear today about the need to defend the independent and self-sufficient woman. However, knowing how to adopt a more confident attitude is complicated. This is why we will work on these keys to develop female autonomy while always respecting that of others.

    Basically we meet two types of independence: emotional and economic. In part, one depends on the other to consolidate a good level of independence.

    Here are five tips to overcome the problem:

    1. Take care of your emotions

    Certainly the most difficult step and the first to tackle, because it is the basis of the whole. Emotional independence is achieved by defining well what you want, what you like and what you dislike. As for your personal relationshipsWhether it’s with friends, coworkers, family, or your romantic partner, you need to make an effort to analyze where real abilities end and where others’ collaboration is really needed.

    2. Responsibility with money

    The idea that what is normal and desirable depends financially on the couple greatly limits their own freedom. Learn to depend on yourself and not ask anyone for money.

    3. Enjoy the solitude

    You don’t have to panic when you’re left alone. Appreciate your moments of solitude like something with positive aspects and respond to your own thoughts, feelings and fears.

    4. Cultivate

    Having a higher level of skills and knowledge empowers us and makes us freer and more empowered, regardless of our gender.

    5. Work on self-esteem

    This point is as crucial as the first. Love yourself it will help you show yourself as an empowered woman and on. Loving yourself, without falling into arrogance, makes you respect yourself, take care of yourself, cultivate yourself, etc. You should expect the same from the people around you.

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