Although love is one of the most amazing experiences people can have, lack of love is certainly a traumatic experience that can affect our mind and behavior. In fact, grieving is a process that takes place after a loss, whether it is a loved one dying, a job, or a broken relationship.
Loving is a necessary and painful process which, although universal, lives it in its own way.
What to do when your partner leaves you
Especially if they have left us, this process can be a complicated experience to go through and can be a great challenge, as our self-esteem can take the consequences and the pain can be difficult to deal with. And although at the start of the breakup, it usually seems like this suffering will never end, our brain is a flexible organ, able to reorganize itself and adapt to the environment. Over time, it is possible to rebuild our lives, move on and ultimately regain well-being and be happy again..
If you are in this situation and feel identified with what you have just read, in this article we have prepared a series of tips that will help you overcome the breakup especially if you have been left behind. So that you can better face this stage of your life.
1. Accept the situation
The first step in overcoming a breakup is to accept the situation, otherwise it will not be possible to move forward or regain well-being. Acceptance is the key to any process of change and non-acceptance acts as a barrier between us and our happiness.
Accepting this situation is not easy, but it is necessary for us to find ourselves and to take responsibility for life again. Otherwise, anger takes over us and resentment will not allow us to move forward. This does not mean that we cannot experience certain negative emotions such as frustration; but, we must adopt a compassionate mindset towards ourselves and towards what has happened to us. In this sense, the will and the time must do their job.
Acceptance often comes from understanding the factsSo understanding that this phenomenon is painful and a part of life also helps you look to the future and not get stuck in the past. Understanding that love is not a linear process but that there can be relapses can help us overcome the most difficult times when they have left us.
- Acceptance comes after going through a series of steps. In our article “The 5 phases to overcome the grief of a breakup” we explain them.
2. Focus on yourself
One of the main problems we can suffer when they leave us is not focusing on ourselves.. Often times when we are in a relationship we get used to being with someone and may suffer from some degree of emotional addiction. Being single is a great opportunity to take time for ourselves, to strive for our personal development and for what is going to really do us good.
When you come into harmony with yourself and strive for your desires and concerns, you improve your mental well-being and emotional balance. This helps to improve self-esteem and to choose the couple freely, not on the basis of an inner void that we cannot otherwise cover. Although it is not easy to recognize, many people do not know how to be alone and seek to fill the void they feel with someone else, without stopping to correct their own mistakes or boost their self-esteem. of oneself, affected after the break-up.
3. Surround yourself with friends and avoid isolation
When the relationship ends, the daily routine and sharing much of our life with that person will change.. Getting used to their affection and letting go of those intimate moments is usually the hardest thing to get over. In these lonely times, this is where we need to surround ourselves with friends and loved ones the most.
Relationships are essential to our happiness, especially in these difficult times. If we’re in company, we’ll make more plans, share our thoughts with others, have more fun, meet new people, and ultimately feel better.
4. Be active and distracted
In addition to surrounding yourself with friends, it is good to have plans and goals, and to do activities that make you feel good, that will allow you to release certain neurochemicals linked to pleasure and happiness (endorphins, serotonin, etc.) and will make you have a fun time.
Exercising, studying what you love, or going to the movies will help keep you from falling into sadness and inactivity, which can anchor you in negative thoughts and pain.
5. Don’t blame yourself
We’ve all been through this at some point in our lives, but no one dies of lack of love. While it is true that when our partner leaves us it can make us feel guilty about the way the relationship has gone, in reality, couples are made up of two people and usually when they separate they are all the same. two partly responsible. You might have made a mistake at some point, but you are human and you have to accept it as a part of life. After all, no one is perfect.
6. Give up the role of victim
Now don’t blame yourself doesn’t mean you have to take on the role of victim. In fact, it’s also not positive that you feel sorry for yourself and take on this role, because blaming the other person for what happened isn’t the answer either. In these cases, there is only one way to regain well-being, and that is to hang on to life and connect with your own needs and wants, that is, to fight. for his own personal development.
7. Go to psychological therapy
Sometimes, some people can have serious difficulty in coping with the breakup of a partner, because after the breakup, a member can still remain in love. In these cases, sadness and anxiety can be symptoms that manifest themselves, as well as others such as lack of appetite, weight loss, demotivation and isolation, changes in sleep patterns. and the inability to enjoy things considered enjoyable, among others.
While in the early stages of the rupture these symptoms may be normal, they are not if they persist over time. If, after the first few weeks, the person is unable to rebuild their life and overcome their lack of love, they may need professional help to learn tools to help you overcome bad times for what is happening, put aside obsessions, learn social skills to meet new people, and ultimately regain well-being and happiness.
The process of psychotherapy applied to these cases allows progress in many different aspects, such as:
- Stimulate emotional intelligence to find the real causes of sensory discomfort.
- Develop habits that improve emotional balance.
- Facilitate an interpretation of the facts that is not biased towards pessimism.
- Learn from your mistakes with the ability to deal with what happened without trying to deny the uncomfortable aspects of the relationship.
- Fight psychological rumination focused on memories of the breakup.