Why do we dream of our ex-partners when the relationship has been broken for a long time? What is the cause of the return of this torment?
There are many times you wake up in the morning, with grief, thinking about your ex. This is because you have dreamed about your ex-partner at night before. But what is the cause that we dream of with our ex-partners? A priori we think we have not overcome it, but in reality there are many more explanations than it is worth to be aware of so as not to blame ourselves.
Through this article I invite you to think about why we dream of your ex-partner so that you understand the mysterious (or not so mysterious …) meaning of dreaming about your ex.
Dreams: the importance of the unconscious
In the reality of the dream, our unconscious is revealed; the subconscious tells us about certain aspects of our lives and ourselves which we cannot (or do not know how to) resolve when we are awake.
According to details …
As I have already indicated, just dreaming about your ex-partner doesn’t mean you still feel something for her or him. It’s a pretty common fact that while we sleep we project the image of that person who was part of your life without it being linked to an emotional condition. To realize this, it is vitally important to analyze the details of sleep (how you felt towards him or her, whether something was going on between the two of you or not, etc.).
Be careful not to take dreams literally!
Dreams are symbolic, their meaning is never literal and therefore they are not a reflection of a reality faithful to our own (although there are certain elements that are).
For example, if you had a dream about kissing your ex-partner, it doesn’t mean that you are still in love but you probably have a need to be loved and this need is materializing in your ex-partner, in a way because our unconscious takes the references lived through our experience. To summarize; we cannot talk about what we have not experienced, it would be absurd and impractical to solve our problems.
I want to stop dreaming about this person and I can’t!
Another reason we dream about an ex is because we’re not good with our current partner or we’re not happy with our single life.
These dreams are associated with positive feelings and emotions (love, tenderness, etc.) but always with a background of melancholy which manifests itself upon awakening. Although apparently the two situations are different, they have in common in which the subconscious shows us that we have affective and loving deficiencies; it would be appropriate for you to start valuing yourself and surrounding yourself with people who love you.
Pending accounts …
Another of the most common reasons we dream and think about an ex-partner is that the tensions are not resolved. When a relationship ends badly or you haven’t had a moment to express your emotions and thoughts, dreams can form in the form of mild nightmares, nightmares that mean we are having a conversation on hold with our ex-partner. And they won’t. disappear until we talk to him. So you know, be brave and face your ex’s ghost!
Old demons in the form of romantic thoughts
Insecurity can be another cause, especially when starting a new relationship where you live in a context similar to when you were with your ex-partner. Our mind is sensitive to stimuli and the memory will repeat the memories you had with your ex by associating them with the new relationship.
If when dreaming about your ex you are sad, anger, or any other negative emotion, it means we feel insecure. and / or afraid to start with our new partner. Weigh the possibility that we will redo the mistakes of the past and of course … we don’t want to repeat this situation. In a way, it’s a call for the unconscious to wake up so as not to fall back into the same mistakes. This is not a negative thing, being aware of this we can have the full will to make a difference.
Am I a killer?
A common but rather macabre dream is that we murdered our ex-partner. Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean you are a psychopath. This dream just means that everything that connected you to your ex has metaphorically died and therefore you are ready to start a new relationship.
A possible way to express anxiety
When we are suffering from anxiety or stress and are not with our partner, we may bring up our ex’s dream to feel supported. Relationships are a matter of two, if you’re having a bad time, it’s normal for your mind to conjure up a substitute for your partner to make you feel better. It’s a deception of the psyche.
In short: dreams are not always a direct reflection of our existence (but they are always an indirect reflection that advises us) and we do not always have a good perception of it. To learn dreams, you need to be mindful and not give them more importance than they really do emotionally. So you know, face your ex-partners!