Our current lifestyle greatly complicates our ability to maintain quality relationships. The daily stress, the lack of time, the constant problems, the difficulty of meeting people … all this makes it difficult to be able to meet this person who is waiting for us.
However, culturally, we are taught and forced to find a partner. It’s like being successful in having love in our lives and having a “happy” family. It causes us to compare ourselves to others and fail to understand why others seem to have wonderful lives when ours is not.
Does having a partner really complete your life? Is this what you want? And if so, have you ever wondered how you would like this relationship to be? If the answer to all of these questions is yes and you can’t find the person you would like to have in your life, be sure to read this article.
Difficulties finding a partner and long-term relationships
First of all, do you really want to have a partner or is it because of social pressure that you need them? This is something you really need to think about.
Living together is sharing and living in balance. With love and serenity, sharing of hobbies and enthusiasm. Building together and knowing that all relationships go through complicated times, routines, fatigue and problems to overcome and work together so that this love does not fade. Are you ready to do this? Or is it just because you are alone? Is this something that you really want or think you have to do because of social pressure?
He is as worthy to live “with” as “without” a partner.. It’s your choice and you have every right to choose what makes you truly satisfied. However, if this is something you want with all your might and you haven’t achieved it, or you haven’t established a healthy relationship, let’s analyze what may be happening.
What’s wrong with us?
Sometimes, it becomes very difficult to find the right person for us. How much is it costing you the most?
- Find opportunities to build relationships and meet people who are related to you.
- Know how to choose or identify the best people for you.
- Learn to love or attract.
- Overcome the barriers of the first moments and flirt / tie.
- Maintain a stable relationship (you only have sporadic relationships).
Whatever difficulty you are having, we can take a look at it and find out how to fix it. In fact, we often create problems ourselves, And this is a key element to be able to move forward. That is why, from a very effective psychology or coaching process, we can find the root of the problem.
In general, many difficulties are based on our fears: To failure, to compromise, to be betrayed, to not be loved, to be hurt … And that leads us to eliminate ourselves a lot of people as candidates, or that we don’t even try to have these relationships.
There may also be the problem of low self-esteem, shyness, lack of time, etc. These elements can lead us to these situations:
- You don’t look good enough to anyone.
- You don’t quite know how to meet people, or directly, you don’t dare to take the plunge (at least in person, and you only build relationships online).
- It is difficult for you to approach others in person.
- You only have sporadic relationships when you want a stable relationship.
- You attract a type of people that you don’t want.
- When you do manage to have relationships, at the end of the day, they’re always problematic.
- You leave relationships because you see signs that something is wrong and you leave before they hurt you
Why is it so hard to find our “half orange”?
a few aspects that influence our ability to establish stable relationships are the following.
1. The concept of oneself
If our self-image is destructive, the product of low self-esteem that we don’t want or see enough of for anyone, it will cause fear of relating to others. It will also prevent us from exposing ourselves out of fear of the opinions of others as they look down on us. this it will prevent us from having a good social network that will allow us to create emotional bonds and opportunities to meet this person to which we aspire.
2. Fear of failure
Fears cripple us and prevent us from being successful in anything we do. This includes relationships with others. If we fear that it will go wrong for us, it will go wrong.
3. Why they hurt us
If we have had previous relationships in which we have suffered and keep that suffering alive, it will be very difficult for us to allow anyone to approach us or that we simply judge it objectively. We need to learn from what has happened to us, but not live in pain forever.
4. Shyness / introversion
People with very introverted personal characteristics have a greater difficulty (or resistance) to having social connections. It is more difficult for them to relate to others and they do not have a good time in certain situations, causing avoidance behaviors and sometimes isolation.
5. Fear of commitment
Sharing our life with another person means changing ours. It means adapting two lives for the good of the unionAnd not all people are ready for this change or adaptation. It can be temporary (at the moment we are living), or our independence takes precedence over everything and it is incompatible with a stable partner.
How can you prepare to find and keep this couple?
If you really want to live as a couple, the first thing to do is heal your wounds, whatever they may be. Strengthen psychologically, work on unconditional self-esteem, develop social skillsClearly define what you want and what you can offer. All of this will also allow you to have healthy relationships, free from emotional dependence, and avoiding toxic relationships and / or abuse of others and ourselves.
In short, if we want others to like us, we need to start loving ourselves and offering our best version, as well as preparing ourselves to overcome any difficulties. To do this, it is very important to follow these guidelines.
1. Work on yourself (seek professional help if necessary)
It is better to spend time and a small investment in your happiness to spend your life regretting your bad luck., Or how bad everything is for you.
2. Heal your wounds
It is only if you overcome your past that you can have a future. Analyze what happened and what you could change. Stop mistreating yourself and hurting people for things that have happened to you that you haven’t overcome.
3. Overcome laziness and step out of your comfort zone
It’s hard to start over, but only if you try will you have a chance to get it.
4. Enjoy the road
If you really want to find that person to complement you, keep this in mind. it’s a path of endurance, not of speed. Try it, enjoy the people you meet, dismiss those who don’t bring you anything, laugh at what happens to you, enjoy the little moments. Success isn’t just in the result, it’s also in what you do. Reward yourself for your attempts, for your progress. It all adds up. That person will come.
5. Is there a harmony between what you are looking for and what you really need?
You must ask yourself these questions to know which person to choose and take the right decisions for your happiness and that of the person with whom you share your life.
6. Generate reasonable expectations
Don’t generate idyllic situations in your head. Life is not a fairy tale, life is the sum of many moments of happiness that sometimes escape us without even seeing or appreciating them.
7. Work with your internal dialogue and your convictions
“I will not be able to find anyone I love”, “it is impossible for anyone to notice me”… Learn to challenge such beliefs.
8. Going online is overwhelming
Applications of this type involve interacting with many people, Which in turn, interact with each other. It is very important to manage this process in the most appropriate way.
How to have a successful relationship?
The purpose of finding a partner is to build manage and improve healthy relationships in everything we have discussed throughout this article i.e. working on unconditional self-esteem, developing skills, working on our internal dialogue and strengthen ourselves.
If you want to have a completely happy relationship, click on the link where I explain several very effective guidelines for this.
And, if you decide to go into this world, I can help you work in all of these areas, as well as generate strategies to find the partner you want, improve your communication processes, value yourself and others. as it matches, manage anxiety and frustration, build your strengths, maximize success and minimize setbacks, help you with your dates and finally find the person you want. And most of all, to maintain and nurture the relationship you fought so hard for. You can get whatever you want. Only if you let go of your fears will you let your dreams come in.