Relationships are based on love, respect and trust. While we have no control over the first of these ingredients, the other two have a place in our decisions and in the choices we make every day.
However, when it comes to maintaining loyalty, it is very easy for a single mistake to overturn a yard or wedding plan that takes months or years of travel. Overnight, everything can change, and even if the infidelity is hidden, guilt repeatedly ends the relationship.
But that doesn’t always happen. There are cases when the couple is still together after an infidelity.. Why is this happening? Let’s look at the causes of this phenomenon.
Overcome infidelity or self-deception?
Infidelity puts us in a position where we have to choose between two options that have significant emotional repercussions. Breaking up with a relationship involves leaving behind many elements of life that we have become accustomed to, as well as the need to see the relationship that we came out of with other eyes and to spend time alone. In turn, not separating from the couple involves pursuing a relationship that is very easy to doubt and investing time and effort in something that tomorrow can definitely end.
Infidelity is, by definition, betrayal. That means it’s not about having sex with someone you don’t have a relationship with based on reciprocal love; after all, there are open couples and polyamory.
To be unfaithful is to break one of these commitments they are part of the pillars on which a court or a marriage is supported. Absolutely sexual exclusivity is usually a part of these commitments, but it’s not always the case. Either way, almost every relationship requires some degree of exclusivity to work (even if that only comes down to the privilege of devoting much more time and attention to your loved one).
But there are many philosophies in life with which to deal with infidelity when it has been committed. Many of them lead to ending the relationship, understanding that he has no choice or that he is based on a lie.
Relationships that rebuild after cheating on a couple
From what is currently known, the factors that explain why some couples continue to exist after infidelity known to both parties are as follows.
1. Prefer happiness to justice
Happiness is something shared but fragile, while justice can be one-sided, but it should not make us happy. The choice between justice and happiness governs many decisions that have to do with whether to forgive infidelity or not.
Many couples who stay together after infidelity they bet on happiness through forgiveness. It might seem like an easy way out of the conflict, but it isn’t. Truly forgiving someone is complicated in these cases, and the person who has cheated on their partner often sees in this something that makes them better appreciate the value of their court and marriage.
2. The start of a formal engagement
Often times, infidelity is due to a lack of well-established rules that govern the relationship. For example, it’s not uncommon for some people at the start of a relationship to be so afraid of the possibility of overwhelming the other person that they try in every way to appear flexible and accommodating. This situation of ambiguity allows commit infidelity because of a gray area of morality which is between the clearly acceptable and the clearly unacceptable.
Thus, dealing with infidelity draws attention to this lack of communication and allows the couple to have a setting in which to talk for the first time about what their engagement will be.
3. Couple therapy
Couples therapy is effective in intervening in many aspects that cause discomfort in the face of infidelity: for example, reducing the stress associated with conversations with the couple and relearn to dialogue constructively. This, while not ensuring the full restoration of mutual trust, facilitates the achievement of this goal.
4. A philosophy of life against the absolutes
People who experience love through outright ideas of “infidelity must be accompanied by a breakup in all cases” are unlikely to be able to detect when there is an opportunity to mend a relationship.
It is therefore generally important to adopt the idea that every relationship is a world and that while there are situations that are not viable in all cases (such as abuse), in some cases infidelity is not the end of the world.
People tend to underestimate our ability to change in matters of love, usually because we are unable to find a way to create the ideal situation in which we are allowed to evolve both in our habits, our values and our beliefs.