Will you endure your relationship this summer? The keys to improving your relationship

Summer is the season of the year that most reflects breakupsaccording to the statistics.

These ruptures are found at the beginning of the summer or just after. Are you curious about the causes and what to do if you are in this critical situation?

    The most common causes of rupture

    We will detail below the most common causes that can precipitate the breakup of a couple. It is important to note that every couple is different, however, sometimes patterns that have a solution are repeated and, therefore, the best keys for each given problem are also stated.

    1. Accumulation of unresolved problems in the couple

    It is possible that unresolved conflicts accumulate in the routine, either for lack of time, or because one or both members of the couple prefer to “forget the problem” by thinking that this is how it is. solves.

    During the holidays, you probably spend more time as a couple, and these unresolved conflicts most likely occur. This will cause a “snowball” in which reproaches will be added and will certainly increase the frustration of each other. After all, having the initial approach of spending quality time as a couple watching how expectations are shattered will cause more disappointment than at any other time of the year. This is why many couples end up separating or divorcing after a “non-ideal” vacation.

    Do you think they really found out that they aren’t compatible after spending so much time together or is it because they failed to resolve their conflicts for the rest of the year? Indeed, the second hypothesis is the most probable.

    The keys to improving your partner in times of crisis

    Among the best options are assertiveness techniques. Assertiveness is a style of communication in which the other is respected without hurting them and without neglecting our own needs, that is, it involves balance and empathy in communication.

    Among the opposite poles of assertiveness we find passive communication (saying nothing to avoid conflicts that accumulate) and aggressive communication (exploding when you can no longer bear the accumulation of conflicts or reproaches).

    Undoubtedly, assertive communication in which to speak correctly each unresolved conflict will bring a benefit a healthier relationship.

      2. Relationships that “just work” during routine

      Sometimes there are relationships that just seem to work day to day and they believe they have “the perfect balance”. In many cases, one or both members of the couple take refuge in other responsibilities.like work and/or activities without the partner, feeling that their relationship can be overwhelming and overwhelming.

      Undoubtedly, if a couple only shares responsibilities such as cohabitation, bills, debts, children… we can focus on the fact that the couple is necessary to face daily life, and to face situations which are obligations after all, sometimes to “disconnect” one can procrastinate a little and escape from the couple and the obligations. An example is spending more time on work and other activities with friends or hobbies alone.

      This type of situation is the one that causes breaks before summer, in a way in summer we need to “rest, escape and disconnect” and the couple seems to be part of one more obligation…

      The keys to improving this situation

      Among the best keys is engage in pleasurable activities with the couple in all seasons. Although sometimes more complicated, the benefits are certainly worth it. Pampering the relationship and enjoying with the partner as in the first phase of your relationship will strengthen the union. Finally, you will have a balance between pleasure and responsibilities within the couple, enjoying the routine and the summer.

        3. Unrealistic expectations

        Sometimes there are unrealistic expectations in one or both members of the couple. These unrealistic expectations can be varied, such as having the couple idealized and getting to know them better during the holidays, producing a clash between reality and expectation. Thereby This will definitely cause frustration and a possible holiday break..

        Other unrealistic expectations are that the summer should be fun in every way and with few obligations, and that as a couple “we can miss the better things”. There is no doubt that with this conviction the couple will surely break up at the beginning of summer or in the first weeks. Certainly, when the holidays return, these people will adjust their expectations again, and you will have to consider whether the change was worth it or not.

        The keys to improving this situation

        Knowing the couple well is important, and accepting both what you like and what you don’t like. A healthy relationship involves knowing our partner and being good for the way our partner is, not the way we want them to be or become. One of the best guidelines is to have time to talk and talk, without taking things for granted. Accept that some things you’ll be okay with and some you won’t, and that everything can work out. When you feel this acceptance, expectations will be higher.

        If you have been mirrored or mirrored in any of these most common causes, psychologists specialize in PsicoAlmeriaonline and in person, can help you with more personalized guidelines tailored to your situation.

        Author: Verónica Valderrama Hernández, General Health Psychologist.

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