Your partner could be a psychopath: the keys to identify him

We usually have the word “psychopath” associated with the typical serial killer from novels or movies like Hannibal Lecter, or true famous psychopaths like Ted Bundy or Edmund Kemper.

However, this association is a mistake, because not all psychopaths commit blood crimes; in fact, there are a disturbing number of people who have a distinctly psychopathic personality and who have never killed anyone or who will never go to jail.

    Not all psychopaths kill

    Given the statistics, it is quite possible that you know some of these people with strong psychopathic traits, and you probably don’t have the slightest suspicion of the true nature behind that charming smile and that impeccable image.

    These “built-in psychopaths” function like a virus that has successfully bypassed the immune system of society; they are good at hiding their true way of being, so they are difficult to detect. One of the leading experts in psychopathy, Dr. Robert Hare, calls them “dressed snakes”.

    They are aware of the harm they are causing

    A psychopath is a being with a perverse personality. Something is wrong with his empathy wayHe is aware of the harm he causes, but far from feeling pity or remorse, he delights in it. On the contrary, most of us do not enjoy the good of our neighbor (we rather feel envy and resentment) and, even more so, we tend to like to make others suffer, whether it is for the pleasure. or out of boredom. Any appearance that can show compassion is a theater, a mask.

    The psychopath has a certain intuition that something is wrong with him, he knows that it is differentHe knows that most people are good and take the good of others, and he takes advantage of that by pretending to be an ordinary person.

    How to identify

    Some people, if they know it, they enter into a loving relationship with a person with these characteristics. Now, if your partner is a psychopath, you will notice this during cohabitation.

    The onset of a relationship with these people is usually intense and at a faster pace than the rest of your relationships. The psychopath will try to live with you as soon as possible, usually he will move into your house.

    The way a psychopath thinks is deviant from most of us. His emotional world is much smaller; however, they adapt well to reality (In other words, they do not suffer from hallucinations or delusions) and do not experience fear like most people. In fact, some barely feel fear, which often leads them to behave recklessly.

    Watch their behavior

    If you think your partner is a psychopath don’t try to figure out how he thinks, he’s too different from you for you to understand, and he won’t really show you his way of thinking. It is much more useful for you to watch how he acts and the contrast between what he says and what he does.

    At the start of the relationship, he will use a manipulative strategy known as “love bombardment.” This technique of seduction is generally used by sects, and generates in the victim a state of near intoxication when satisfied with signs of interest, praise, positive attention, closeness and affection. In the case of your psychopathic partner, everything is a lie, it’s a screen hiding bad intention. You don’t really care.

    This first experience, this bombardment of love, it is etched in fire in the mind of the victim. It’s like a climb, like a drug. This initial feeling of ecstasy is very difficult to erase, and victims will desperately seek to experience the euphoria of the beginning again. The psychopath will play with that.

    A psychopath is a person who he is unstoppable when it comes to getting what you want. The end justifies the means, will do whatever it takes to get what it wants, and you better not interfere with your desires, because if it bothers you and can’t get away from you, it will just take you out of it. without any remorse.

    On the other hand, a psychopath does not assume responsibilities, he feels no guilt or apologizes for anything if he does not deem it necessary for his interests. He justifies himself for his faults, blames others (blames you) or the circumstances, anything before apologizing.

    Outraged, he wants and must be in control, he does not accept the feeling of feeling vulnerable. If you see him crying, rest assured that his tears are fake; he can cry in frustration, in pure anger, but not in grief or guilt, because he does not feel these things.

    The psychopath believes that he deserves everything, that he is special and that he has more rights than others. His narcissism and sense of grandeur make him believe that they will never catch up with him, And some of the most prominent criminals have been hunted down thanks to this oversight.

    as well it’s typical that psychopaths never end up trusting anyone; they transfer their evil nature into others so that they never descend from above, especially the guard.

    He will buy you with false promises. He compulsively lies, even when cornered. You never know what he’s really thinking. He will deceive you with such shamelessness and conviction that you will come to doubt yourself.

    Additionally, he often talks about his old relationships, calling them crazy, unstable, toxic, or whatever qualifier he might have. suggest that you had very bad luck with the couples and finally appeared in their lives so that you both were happy. Then your speech will change and you will start questioning, demeaning, disrespecting, and sending negative messages to yourself. This is the rejection phase, it indicates that he is already tired of you and that he has probably already changed you to someone else. And you are not in his plans, now what he wants is to hurt you.

    It will use triangulation and projection: He will try to generate jealousy in you, by bringing a third person into the relationship, but usually in a subtle way. This will make you intentionally suspect him and then deny it all and blame him for your jealousy and need for control. Many times he will question your mental stability and try to upset you. He will accuse you of being unfaithful to him.

    He may try to isolate you from your family and / or separate you from your friendsOr you may get along with your family very well and everyone will find him charming, implying that you are the “bad guy” in the relationship. When he gets tired of you, he will start to denigrate you, attacking your self-confidence with a subtle first then direct bombardment of disqualifications, slowly undermining your self-esteem.

    well he will manipulate you out of guilt and addiction to have you at his mercyThis is what he always wanted from the beginning of the relationship. You need to feel powerful and exploit others.

    You will notice that he maintains an impeccable image, he maintains a way of being that the exterior doors are charming and chances are, if you tell people around you how they treat you, they won’t believe you. It seems that only you see the dark side of the psychopath, and it increases the feeling that you are going crazy, but you are not.

    What to do?

    If you notice more than one of these traits in your partner, you are likely to have met an exploitative and most disadvantaged person. Maintaining a relationship with someone like this puts your mental health at serious risk.

    You can overcome the trauma of continuing such abuse, but it is very difficult for you to do it on your own. The more time you have shared with such a person, the more likely it is that this relationship has left significant psychological consequences. Seek specialized professional support.

    Bibliographical references:

    Piñuel, I. (2019). Zero love, how to survive love with psychopaths. Madrid: the sphere of books. Junker, S. (2017). Victims of destructive cults. Mind and Brain, 87: p. 62-68.

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