People acquire role models as we age. These are not acquired by magic: someone has to teach us them to assimilate them to our moral code.
Values are necessary so that our children, as adults, are socially adapted people and can have happy lives and achieve whatever they do.
Below we will see a selection of the 15 family values you can teach your childrenAll are essential for raising children who have healthy relationships with others.
Family values in which to educate your children
For adults to be well adapted to society, children must integrate their growth into ethical standards that help them live together and shape their personalities. These ethical standards are not acquired only as a natural consequence of their biological development.: Their parents, as the main social figures, are the adults who instilled these ethical standards in children. It is, without a doubt, the education in values of our children one of the most important strategies in their learning.
However, what exactly do we mean when we talk about “values”? We could define them as those principles that allow us to guide our behavior with the goal of fulfilling ourselves as people, which guide us in formulating and achieving objectives and goals, both individually and socially.
Values are not taught by saying what they are, but by behaving consistently with them, i.e. parents must be role models for these ethical standards so that their children can learn them. It is much more important to teach by doing than by saying, and therefore parents should show them in every situation that it is an opportunity to put them into practice.
We could still name hundreds of values that the little ones should acquire, here we will discover the 15 family values that you can teach your most important children, that in every home, the little ones should not miss the efforts at home to end up acquiring.
Responsibility is one of the most important values that children must learn from an early age. It involves realizing that their actions will have consequences, both good and bad, and that is why they must be held accountable for their actions..
A good way to convey this value is for parents to fulfill their obligations, with what is expected of them, in addition to involving their children in these tasks.
Responsibility is also taught through punishment, whenever it is needed and there is no other option. If the child has not completed a task or something that he has promised to do, to learn that his actions have consequences, he will have to apply some kind of sanction.
Every parent, sibling, uncle, or family member who has a child in their family knows that little ones tend to be selfish. They don’t want to share their toys, they don’t let their mother take care of their other siblings, they don’t want to give the bag of candy to their cousin … There are many situations in which their childish selfishness gets stuck. manifests itself. It is not their fault, they are only children and a certain lack of generosity is accepted at certain ages.
The problem is that if they are not instilled with the value of generosity, sooner or later they will become extremely selfish and egocentric children, who as adults will not care at all about the needs of others or not. will not share their belongings. By learning to be generous, we avoid conflicts of all kindsIn addition to making children more likely to share without expecting anything in return, encourages prosocial behaviors, making other children also generous with them and becoming best friends.
Commitment is a value closely related to responsibility, although it is not exactly the same. We could define it as set goals and try to achieve them in the long term. This value is especially useful academically, as the child will do their best to get good grades, complete class projects, or have good relationships with their peers if they are committed to parents.
Commitment is also important in social relationships. In every relationship, both parties must be committed to respecting, valuing the other party, and giving their best. In this way, children make a commitment to their friends not to leave them behind if they have a problem, to be there no matter what, to attend their birthdays or to invite them to a football game. Commitment is a clearly prosocial value.
For better or for worse, our society is globalized. One of the positive aspects of this globalization is the contact of a multitude of ethnicities, cultures and religions that they are trying to coexist in harmony in the same society. Contact can lead to conflict if it behaves badly, which is why tolerance has become a fundamental value in our time.
Accepting that everyone has their own unique identity, mother tongue, culture, ideas, sexual orientation, gender and other fully valid aspects is one way to reduce this potential conflict. In order to create a society without prejudice and in which tensions are not generated by things that we cannot change, it is a social imperative to teach tolerance to the little ones. With it, we make them see that everyone has an identity, and that these identities are equal in rights and in respect.
Before school starts, children spend most of the day with their parents or grandparents, receiving all kinds of compliments for what they are doing and stopping doing. It’s no wonder that in many cases they are considered the best, that no one else can compare them. however, barely in kindergarten or school, they discover that there are more children like them in this world, And they were also told they were the best. His bubble, in which we believed the best, has just exploded.
This generates conflicts, we could even say that they are going through a small identity crisis, even if it is resolved rather quickly. Parents should teach their children that they have their good and their bad things, that no one is perfect, and that they should be humble. Each has its strengths and weaknesses. We have to be proud of what comes out and try to improve what is needed. You must also know how to see the good in others and value it.
Things, whether material or not, are not free. Everything has a cost, both in economic terms and in time and effort. The love of a father is a real investment of many resources and children should know how to value and be grateful for it. They should appreciate the efforts of others to have everything they have, just as adults and other children should thank them for the good things they do for them.
The best way to teach the value of gratitude at home is for parents and older siblings to practice it. There are many small gestures and actions that can be done to show gratitude, Like thanking someone who made the food, giving the mother a massage after work, cleaning the house as a thank you for shopping …
Honesty or sincerity is one of the most essential values of our company. It is very much related to humility, although sincerity is the truth, not lying or changing the facts as they are. Without honesty, no one can mature or understand that no one is perfect, just as humility happens.
While this ends up being a learned value over time, it It is not uncommon to find adults who have not very internalized it. This is why it is so important that parents take care of teaching the little ones, explaining why lying is wrong because it not only hurts others, but also they themselves run the risk of being harmed by the effect of their own lies.
Everyone has their own feelings, desires, needs and goals to achieve, a fundamental idea which, if not assimilated, will not allow us to live in society. Empathy is a value that must be learned to understand this reality, by learning not to do things to others that we do not ourselves I would like them to do with us.
While it is true that empathy develops as one grows up, the environment closest to the child should be fostered.. Parents can demonstrate this by paying attention to their children when they are sad or angry, asking them what is wrong with them, and taking an interest in their well-being. Thus, children will see that their parents listen to them and, over time, develop the ability to actively listen, which is essential for the development of good empathy.
Humility is a fundamental value, which teaches us that socially we are neither the most perfect nor the best in the world.
however, it is one thing to understand that we are not the best at everything and another to think that we do not deserve respect or value ourselves. That is why, to prevent children from falling into this unpleasant extreme, they are taught the value of self-esteem.
Children must learn to value themselves and not to allow anyone to step on them. This value is used to educate empathy, learning what they don’t like to be done and what they shouldn’t consent to in any context they are doing.
Praise is a good tool for building self-esteem, as long as it is used appropriately.. Flattery should not be abused, used only when the child has done something extraordinary or very good, such as taking out a notable, sharing with others, doing the dishes …
Friendship is fundamental at any age, but essential in early childhood. A child who does not have good friends in kindergarten or the first years of elementary school it can be a child who ends up living in isolation as he grows up, especially as a teenager.
Having friends is essential for being able to communicate properly, as well as for having more support outside of the family.
Friendship can only be developed as a value in person, or at least by having continuous contact with other people. It’s not just about adding a friend to Facebook or Instagram, it’s about sharing experiences, supporting and being supported, inviting birthdays, sharing and feeling that another being human values us. Whoever has a good friend has a treasure.
Life is not a path of roses, but looking at it with good eyes can help us overcome it correctly.. Teaching the little ones to live with enthusiasm and optimism, always looking for the positive side of things and overcoming setbacks is a fundamental value for their development.
Optimism is the fuel that fuels achievement, self-esteem, happiness and success. This is what teaches us that there will not always be good times, but that they will always end up being overcome and that by putting stubbornness and a good face to difficulties it is possible to overcome them more. quickly.
Patience is perhaps the most difficult value to teach children. Little han learn to postpone gratuities, to understand that it is not possible to have everything on time and that on many occasions they will have to wait a bit to get their long awaited price. This can be perfected with the classic marshmallow experiment, although it can also be taught by teaching them that if they are patients, they will achieve more than they originally intended.
For example, if our kid wants to play video games all weekend, we can tell him that he will only get it if during the week he leaves the console aside and starts studying. If he is successful, he will be allowed to spend as much time as he wants with his matches arriving on Saturday, otherwise time will be limited. In this way, the child will learn to control his playing anxieties, learn that it is better to wait and get the big prize instead of getting little immediate satisfactions.
At a time when immediacy and ease are the most in demand, it seems that the culture of effort is dying out. The effort will disappear, but the demand for effort will not. Effort will continue to be a necessary value for success in life.
That is why we must instill in our children the culture of effort, learning that things won’t get done just by sitting in a chair and waiting for opportunities to fall from the sky. If they want to learn a language, master a sport or know how to play an instrument, they will have to be impatient and spend many hours training. They ignored the slogans seen on the networks like “learn to play guitar in a week without effort!”. Surprise: they don’t work.
We may be surprised to say that character is a value. Character is something that many see as unchanging and static, the same throughout a child’s life. There is a widespread belief that this is something we have to sort out at birth: if it’s good it’s very good and if it’s bad then it’s felt. Personality and character can change, and with them values and the belief system.
Obviously, kids are not shallow boards. They have a personality, a character that takes on the characteristics of their father and mother. Education is the environmental variable that allows us to model what a person looks like, which is why it is so important. By teaching habits, repeating them, evaluating them and seeing how well they are doing, we can strengthen the character of the little ones.
Happiness is the value and feeling that should be nurtured in every child. After all, every good father wants his children to be happy. Happiness should not be understood as synonymous with joy at all times, But being content with being who we are, with what we have, with all that we have accomplished in our lives. That is to say, it is a value that feeds and, at the same time, feeds on the other values that we have explained.
Happiness is the consequence of having put our efforts into a project, of having committed to it, of having been patient and of never giving up, of always having a good face. It is the consequence of having a good system of values, of applying them on a daily basis.
- Alvarez, A .; Alvarez, MA; Cañas, A .; Jimenez, S .; Small, MJ (1990). Development of social skills in children aged 3 to 6 (Practical guide for parents and teachers). Madrid: learning viewer.
- Buxarrais, MR; Martinez, M .; Puig, JM; Trilla, J. (1995). Moral education at primary and secondary level. Madrid: MEC / Edelvives.
- Buxarrais, MR (1997). Teacher training in values education. Bilbao: Desclée De Brouwer.
- Casals, E .; Defis, O. (Coord.) (2000; 2nd ed.). Early childhood education and values. Bilbao: Desclée De Brouwer.
- De l’Carme, M .; Aguilar, A .; Rodriguez, I .; González, P .; González, MJ; Infants, MR (1995). Values education program for children. Malaga: Aljub.
- Domínguez, G. (1996). Values in early childhood education. Madrid: the wall.
- García Moriyón, F. (Ed.) (1998). Moral growth and philosophy for children. Bilbao: Desclée De Brouwer.
- Martinez, M .; Puig, JM (Coord.) (1991). Moral education. Future prospects and working techniques. Barcelona: ICE / Graó.
- Martinez, M. (1998). The moral contract with teachers. Conditions for a new school. Bilbao: Desclée De Brouwer.
- Masnou, F. (1991). Education for coexistence. Vic: Editorial Eumo.
- Michelson, L. et al. (1987). Social skills in childhood. Assessment and treatment. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
- Payà, M. (1997). Education in values for an open and plural society. Conceptual approach. Bilbao: Desclée De Brouwer.
- Puig, JM; Martinez, M. (1989). Moral education and democracy. Barcelona: Laertes.