“Come on, hurry, we can’t do it, come on!”, “You haven’t finished your snack yet, what are you waiting for?”, “Wait, your brother is crying”, “I’m leaving soon mom is with you in 10 minutes, I’m going, wait, …, I can’t with everything, already voooooy, what do you want to play ?, why don’t you want to play with me? But if I’m not angry
Children are soaked in the energy we transmit and end up mimicking our emotional responses. Our children do not live in the world of rush like us, nor do they feel overwhelmed by excess responsibilities. However, they give similar responses of nervousness or restlessness because they mimic our emotional states. We infect them with our mood and stress, and then we are surprised that they are blaming, irritable, or more disobedient.
As adults we get angry and don’t understand why in the worst times children disobey even more. Maybe we are causing it ourselves without realizing it. For this great reason, harmony in the house begins with our own serenity.
Achieve harmony in a home with children
The answer is simpler than you might expect. Create habits and routines.
Nature has a seasonal rhythm, and people also have it with sleep-wake cycles. Children living in an environment of habits are calmer, Because they are sure of what will follow.
However, in households where parents do not maintain certain routines, children wait, speed up and fail to flow smoothly.
How can I do this?
Below we will look at several keys to achieve create a harmonious atmosphere in our own home:
1. Make the activities to be carried out at home predictable
With young children, it is best to warn them of what is going to happen, always using the same “warning signs”.
For example, if it’s time to wash our hands to eat, we can always sing the same song that says we’re going to do it. After the song and the hygiene, they will associate that it is time to sit down to eat. After several sequences, just by listening to the song, the children will know what time it is and what is expected of them.
Even if it seems to parents that it is always the same thing, it is good for children to live in an environment where you know what is going to happen; its restlessness decreases and a certain harmony is breathed. When children learn these rhythms, the unexpected decreases, there are fewer arguments, bonds are strengthened, and there is more choice and even time to play.
If the routines are changed, Tension will arise and haste will boycott harmony. For example, if they call us on the phone, return the call to another time, if the kids want to extend the duration of the park, gently tell them it’s time to go to dinner. While these guidelines may seem rigid, they will help us avoid yelling, anger, and quarrels.
2. Respect the rhythms and hours of sleep
Children between the ages of 6 and 12 need to sleep, according to the WHO, ten to twelve hours a day. These little ones who sleep for the time that corresponds to their age they do better academically and score better in intelligence. In addition, sleep stimulates growth hormone and promotes the healthy metabolism of the child, helps his memory and concentration.
At Psychode, we find parents who ask to reduce the bad behavior of their children. In some cases, since the little one is adjusted to sleep, she gets more rest and has an atmosphere of routines, the results observed are astonishing.
Often times, the guilt parents feel about sending them to bed early and not having time to be with them is the reason for postponing bedtime. However, those extra minutes cause fatigue the next day to break the harmony at home.
We invite you to take the test one hour in advance to put your little ones to bed. You will be amazed not only at how the relationship with them improves, But also with your partners.
3. Teach gratitude
Teach them to be grateful, kind and to practice with the whole family. Notice how to ask for things to please or give thanks helps to generate more harmony in the environment.
Being grateful, even internally with the little things that happen to us, will help them to be more optimistic, happier children able to seek challenges and opportunities where others see only problems.
We suggest, as an activity, that before sleeping, we give thanks for several things. We can do this with questions like: “Why were you lucky?”, “What good things happened to you today?”, “Why would you thank them today?”.
4. Learn to listen to silence
In the society we live in, with access to the Internet, we are constantly over-excited. Children are bombarded with stimuli that make them intolerant of silence. They were continually looking for that frantic pace they are used to, endlessly asking themselves questions, putting on television, having “overwhelmed” thoughts that then turn into mental ruminations.
Every now and then you can be quiet. It is a gateway to serenity. Another way to find harmony.
We recommend helping children to come together. If we see that they are silent or thoughtful, respect that moment without interrupting them with questions or instructions. too much we can play to be silent for 5 minutes and enjoy the sounds of the environment (especially in nature).
Enjoying the silence, we get the serenity in our house
If you feel that your home is in disharmony and you don’t know how to deal with conflicts with your children or your partner, do not hesitate to seek advice from the Instituto de Psicología Psicode de Madrid (Tel: 910.000.209) .