The overprotection of children during their education is a very common phenomenon that occurs when parents prevent their children from assuming their responsibilities, freedoms and obligations according to their age as they grow up, so this can have very serious consequences. negative for the child.
There are several signs that you are overprotective of your child, and knowing some of the most common can help you prevent them from persisting in ones that can do more harm to your children than good. So, in this article, we will look at some signs that often indicate that parents are overprotective and that of their childrenand advice on what to do.
6 warning signs that you are overprotecting your child
Let’s see what are the main signs that you are overprotecting your child; clues that should warn you that you should change your parenting strategy.
1. Overrewarding your child with material gifts
One of the main signs that you are overprotective of your child is over-rewarding with material gifts when they do things right, which could lead to it’s getting too fancy and believe that by doing things right in life you will always get a gift, so you will never enjoy doing things just for your own satisfaction or because it is the right thing to do.
Being used to receiving material rewards for everything he does well will also not learn to value the little things because he will always believe he is insufficient and will always want more valuable things, so they will not be never satisfied with anything. In this sense, it is also very likely that you put less effort into getting things done on your own and that you believe that others are bound to keep their wishes.
2. Constantly praise your child
Another sign that you are overprotective of your child is that you praise him too much without realizing it. Yes, praising your child is good because it will make them feel better and encourage them to keep doing the right things and trying to achieve their goals, but that’s too much. he might come to believe that he has abilities beyond his meansso when they reach a certain age and start to realize that this is not the case, it can seriously affect their self-esteem and a rebound effect.
Congratulating children in a realistic way can be an incentive for them and that in addition to feeling good, they do things well by having learned to differentiate what is good from what is not.
3. Don’t allow him to take on the responsibilities he should
If you do not allow him to assume the responsibilities he should have at his age, you may find here another sign that you are overprotecting your child, and thus not helping him to develop learning and skills. necessary to grow. to be a responsible adult in the future who faces his own challenges and is able to solve his own problems. That way he won’t be guilty if he doesn’t do things right.
4. Don’t allow him to do his homework
Not allowing him to take on the chores is another warning sign that you are becoming overprotective as a parent. When this happens, they reach adulthood without being able to do their own homework, being less likely to have a clean and tidy house. It’s also quite related to not taking responsibility for yourself.
Teaching children to do chores and work together at home can be very beneficial for their mental health, as it will make them feel more useful and productive, while helping them learn to be orderly and take responsibility.
5. Justify everything your child does
The fifth of these signs that you are overprotective of your child is the fact that you justify everything he does, even when he misbehaves and clearly follows the ground rules, or did something wrong that could have hurt other people. It is very detrimental to justify your negative actions because it is important that you set healthy boundaries so you can know what is right and when you cross the line for misbehaving.
Your child needs to know how to behave without harming others and also needs to learn to take responsibility for their actions. If you don’t learn as a child, it’s much harder for you to be an adult.
6. Make your child feel like the center of the universe
Finally, another sign that you are overprotective of your child is the fact that you make him believe that he is the center of the universe, and therefore others must be attentive to their desires. If you encourage him to think that when he is young, when he reaches the stage of adolescence and adulthood, he will have serious difficulties in facing the challenges of everyday life.
Consequences of child overprotection
After seeing the main signs that you are overprotective of your children, let’s take a look at some of them the consequences of doing so throughout their child and adolescent developmental stage.
- They are more likely to be afraid.
- Some studies show a strong correlation between overprotection and anxiety disorders.
- They will find it difficult to tell the difference between what they should do and what they should not do.
- They will lack the tools and skills to manage and solve their own problems.
- They will become dependent on those around them; even in adulthood.
- They won’t have the skills to tolerate and deal with frustration.
- Because of this low frustration tolerance, they will be more likely to develop depression.
- You may react to frustrating moments with anger and even aggression.
- They won’t have the skills to deal with the challenges that will come their way throughout their lives.
Now that we have seen the consequences of overprotecting children, it should be noted that overprotection is not the same as protectionbecause protection is that instinctive and natural need that mothers and fathers have to overprotect their children, but in a healthy way in which they teach their children to face their challenges and take on the responsibilities necessary as they go. as they grow so that they have autonomy as adults and have acquired the necessary tools to face the challenges they will face in their everyday life.
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- Mosquera Howard, YN, Gutiérrez Esteban, SP, & Vargas Amézquita, SL (2016). Social development in overprotected children (PhD thesis).
- Papalia, DE and Martorell, G. (2017). Human Development (13th ed.). Mexico: McGraw-Hill Education.
- Perry, NB, Dollar, JM, Calkins, SD, Keane, SP & Shanahan, L. (2018). Childhood self-regulation as a mechanism by which early parental overcontrol is associated with preadolescent adjustment. Developmental Psychology, 54(8), 1542.
- Valdiviezo, CB, & Leon, BJ (2019). Family overprotection and impact on the development of autonomy and independence of children from 0 to 3 years old.