Positive discipline is an educational and parental resource which consists in guiding the little ones in the home by making them adopt the predisposition to behave appropriately, not out of fear of punishment, but out of respect and the desire to mature.
This powerful concept is based on finding a balance between setting clear boundaries and allowing young people the freedom to explore the world.
However, knowing how to apply it on a daily basis is not always easy, and in some cases professional psychological assistance is necessary, either as a means of counseling parents or as therapy for the child and adolescent that reinforces this. aging process.
In this article, we’re going to make it easy for you to incorporate this resource into your way of educating, through a summary of the best strategies for using positive parenting discipline.
Basic strategies for applying positive discipline to parenting
There is no perfect way to educate, because no one is perfect. Everyone, including the best parents, those who love their children with all their soul, makes mistakes and this is something that is almost inevitable during child rearing.
However, being aware of our limitations as human beings does not mean that we are exempt from not doing our best for our children, and among the most interesting methods for this we have the idea of positive discipline. Today we are going to learn how to apply positive discipline to parenting, a way of understanding children’s upbringing and their relationship with parents based on the democratic style of education.
There are many ways to apply positive discipline to parenting, although a number of general techniques can be followed to help us accomplish this task. It is very important to avoid the use of physical and verbal punishment, because punitive measures do not help make the child understand what he has done wrong, but simply make him fear that he will behave in a certain way. The child must learn to imitate the desired behaviors, not to obey something because if he does not do so, he will be punished.
Some of the most interesting techniques for applying positive discipline to parenting include the following.
1. Praise him when he is doing well
Parents should consider, remember and praise the times when the child behaves appropriately. By flattering you can reinforce desired behaviors, the ones we want you to repeat in the future.. It is a powerful symbolic reward.
2. Establish routines
By defining common rules, with easy-to-follow routines, unwanted behavior will be avoided. For example, if the child knows that after playing with his toy box, he has to pick it up and leave it on a shelf, he should be made to understand that if one day he does not put the toys away, he will behave badly. and it will have consequences, consequences that will always be the same if you act inappropriately.
These consequences are not punishments, but they should be seen as mere consequences of having done a certain act, like not going out to play in the park. Seeing this, the child will try to do it right, avoiding these unwanted consequences.
3. Don’t argue when you behave badly
Often, the misconduct of children can consist of an attempt to attract attention.. The child understands that when he behaves in this way, he attracts your attention and you devote more time to it.
Therefore, it is better that when the child behaves inappropriately and it is obvious that he is doing it because he wants to be the center, rather than arguing or responding in the form of punishment, he is better not to pay attention. In a few minutes, you tire yourself and find that you are wasting time and energy.
4. Ask instead of ordering
It is better to ask the child than to order things without further delay. Using this technique, we will make sure that the child knows the answer, giving him the freedom to do things or not, but knowing that depending on what he decides there will be certain consequences.
In this way, the child learns to behave and not to obey without more or less.. One of those questions would be “What do you need to do now?” and let him answer.
5. Warn in advance
When you are still doing the activity you are currently doing, it is advisable to let us know in advance, pointing at him and reminding him of what will follow so that he does not surprise him. For example, if after playing with toys it’s time to tidy up your room, we’ll remind you to be aware of it.
6. Reward table
The reward table is a perfect technique that goes hand in hand with positive parenting discipline. It involves setting clear limits and rules in writing., a method that allows the child to see clearly what it means to behave as adults expect. Keeping in mind the rewards you receive when you behave well, it greatly reinforces your good deeds.
7. Tell others about your progress
If you tell other people about the progress your son or daughter has made in their journey towards maturity and the ability to take responsibility, you will create a social context around him that will motivate him to continue doing so well, and it will make you even more proud of what has been accomplished.
- Eggert, LL; Nicolas, LJ; Owen, LM (1995). Reconnecting Youth: A Peer-to-Peer Approach to Developing Life Skills. Bloomington, IN: National Education Service.
- Guatlla, Karen R .; Ward, Catherine L. (2020). “Nonviolent Discipline Options for Caregivers and Teachers: A Systematic Overview of the Evidence.” Trauma, violence and abuse. doi: 10.1177 / 1524838020967340
- Nelsen, J., Lott, L. and Glenn, HS (2000). Positive discipline in the classroom: Develop mutual respect, cooperation and responsibility in the classroom. Roseville, CA: Prima Pub.