We constantly wonder how I can eradicate domestic violence and at the same time promote the healthy development of my children? Any attempt will be in vain if you don’t start with yourself. Family is the stronghold where we can start instill values such as non-violence and healthy communication open to our children.
To learn more about domestic violence: “The 30 signs of psychological violence in a relationship”
Coping with domestic violence and educating at home
The first step is to identify the situations or practices that cause the accumulation of Stress I frustration. Parents are not machines. The constant demand for your attention and your time tends to destabilize you emotionally and physically, not to mention that the current economic and professional situation pushes anyone to their limits.
To separate our work and / or our university life from our home life is a difficult task, but it is necessary. We should not blame our children or our partner for our cares and duties of what belongs outside the home. Try to get rid of your worries about work or school once you are away from work or school, if you need to spend more time on something, look for a time that you can devote exclusively to the activity and be sure to communicate it to your family by asking for their supportRemember that your professional and personal growth is also your growth.
Once that’s done, here are some tips that can help you develop one. healthy and harmonious coexistence.
Establish and enforce rules of respect at home
The previous article established that the family is the basic social nucleus of any society, and what is a society without rules? If it is necessary to write, that all family members know the rules, it is important that the child understands the relationship of internal rules with external rules, explains the consequences of not following them. In house rules, be sure to decisively prohibit the use of insults, beatings or threats among your family members.
In the article on harassment, we base certain types of violence, then recall that any type of violence, whether verbal, physical or of the third type, is a transgression against the whole family, because it occurs translates into a trigger of various actions and reactions, in addition to not recognizing the value of each member.
Encourages assertive communication
the assertive communication it is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct manner. When you talk to your kids, have you ever heard them say what you wanted to hear? Do your children find it difficult to express their feelings and opinions? Do you really know how to listen to them?
Open and assertive communication not only prevents adverse situations, but also provides space to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence.
At this point it seems important to me to say that I am part of the generation in which a spanking was not violence, it was a correction, which is why I have to clarify that sometimes when the attempts to resolve conflict through dialogue seems sufficient and we need to take the next step, we need to know that not all reprimands are violent, it is only important to know when and how to discipline children.
Avoid berating your child with a hot head, make sure the reprimand is of the same “caliber” as the offense committed. The child must learn that with each negative action there is a directly proportional reaction, Either at home or in society. At the same time, I also want to say that an essential part of parenting is trusting your instincts, not following fads or trends just for the sake of what they say.
Like a family, it is important to live together and to spread healthily. Sharing collaborative rather than competitive activities, integrating and knowing each other’s tastes is essential. He seeks to plan for a time of day when this happens. Organize your schedules, find what you are looking for, even if they are 5 minutes long. Quality is worth more than quantity.
Wake up and smell the coffee
As cruel as it may sound, it is better to “die knowing” to “live deceived”. Often times, we don’t take advantage of our reality to experience the desire to have the perfect family. Avoid disappointments and remember the following: No matter what you see on social media, young children have a lot of energy and don’t care what adults expect of them, siblings are beat. Point. From time to time, some more than others, it’s normal, it’s part of living together. Tweens and teens not to mention, do you remember when you were their age?
Take advantage of these sometimes rare moments of family coexistence. Let go of your preconceived fantasy, accept the age characteristics of each of your children and …
Accept mistakes and faults
No one is perfect, no one is born knowing. The home where wrongdoing is condemned is a breeding ground for domestic violence. It must be established within the family a routine to ask and to grant sorry, and practice it frequently.
Be an example, encourage generosity and tolerance in your children towards others, allowing them to learn to grow up by mistake. Teach them not to fall on the same stone.
The family is undoubtedly the ideal nucleus for promoting values from an early age and projecting in each of its members a healthy and transmissible way of life between the individuals who compose it as well as in society. the values they are observable because each member responsibly assumes the role which corresponds to him to exercise, trying the well-being and the integral development of the other members.
Rights, why should they be encouraged from home?
Your children need to know their rights and to know that they deserve respect, they should never tolerate violence without speaking out. Teach them to take care of themselves and protect themselves from abuse by being assertive in their personal relationships. Review together the importance of each of your rights and obligations.
Home is the laboratory where they practice healthy relationships, and where your example is substantial for them to assimilate their value. Remember the violence analysis of mimetic theory, if your children see you suffering from an abusive relationship or raping your partner in their presence, it will be difficult for them to learn to recognize or live a healthy relationship in the future.
Controls the influence of environmental violence on the media
Violence comes into your home with your permission. Analyze the media available to your children. Don’t let everyday life and visual culture determine the development of a value system and the shaping of your children’s behavior. Don’t let the media take care of educating your children.
Continuous exposure to violent images makes us vulnerable and allows us to gradually admit the inadmissible as normal. Exposure to violence from an early age has a negative effect on a child’s development.
Don’t be silent, denounce the violence
You’ve already made the rules, and you’ve learned to your children to assert their rights, it is now important to report violent acts and attitudes and to reprimand them publicly. Promote in your children a denounce violenceThe trust they place in you is essential for you to help them detect when their integrity is at risk, they may be harassed even at home.
The violence will be silenced when you decide to speak.