Fatherhood and motherhood are experiences based, among other things, on patience. This is why it is essential to learn to be more patient with your children.
In this article we will see various tips on what to do to have more patience with your children, Are already in their infancy or adolescence, and make this effort a positive impact on their education.
How can I have more patience with my children? Basic tips
In the following lines, we will see several tips on how to improve the patience we need as parents to raise children. Tips so that anger and stress don’t sabotage your breeding and education plans.
We will first examine those that apply especially when the little ones in the house are young children., And second, we will see what to do when sons and daughters are teenagers.
Be more patient with the children in the family
Childhood is the stage from birth to around 11 years old. Let’s see how we can use psychological techniques to regulate our emotions and have more patience with the little ones in the face of their inappropriate behavior.
1. Make it clear that breaking the rules is okay.
No one is born with the inertia of following all the usual rules in a social context (like those in your home or any family, for example). Breaking the rules, for kids, is the norm, not the exception.
It is important to keep this clear to avoid frustration. when plans don’t go the way we wanted because of seemingly irrational behavior on the part of the little ones in the house.
2. Rest before potentially conflicting situations
Always remember that as a human being you have emotions. Therefore, don’t always try to delete; just play your cards so that they are in your favor and not against you. In this way, knowing how to strategically use short breaks to rest is very helpful.
For example, if you have been called from your child’s school to tell you that he has behaved badly, consider resting for a few minutes before going home to where he is waiting for you instead of leaving. work and come home with all the fatigue.
3. Make sure you give clear and simple instructions
Being clear and transparent in what is said is very important so as not to generate ambiguous situations in which it is very easy for your sons or daughters to break the rules. We must not forget that as an adult you need to create situations where it is easy for them to behave appropriately.
For example, it sets clear objectives and is broken down into several simple sub-tasks, rather than conveying a “global” obligation expressed in a very abstract and seemingly complicated way to accomplish. It is not the same to say “do half the exercises now” today, but “always do the homework you are told at school”.
This task of creating contexts in which it is easy to get along instead of giving orders and waiting for them to be obeyed may seem like an extra obligation that involves more work, but in reality, if you do, you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary effort and therefore, it will be easier for them to end your patience. You will be less tired.
4. Develop emotional intelligence
This is one of the tips for having more patience with your children that works whether they are children or teenagers, and it is very important. Through emotional intelligence, we are able to identify emotional states and regulate them according to your goals.
There are many emotional intelligence courses and workshops that can help you, although there are also relatively few techniques that can help you without special training.
For example, get used to taking a distant perspective when you feel that the situation with your children is overwhelming you, so that your anger towards them is not a hindrance. A more neutral and objective point of view is useful to stop thinking about how to punish them and think more about how to turn the situation around. so that the conflict with them does not worsen and see you as an ally.
5. Take care of your health
The mental state is not detached from the physical state. Therefore, take care of your body so that you always have an energy level up to the circumstances. It’s not easy to be a parentBut you can stay on healthy margins if you get enough sleep and care about healthy eating.
6. Always respect, even in the face of their reproaches
It is important to be clear that whatever reprimands or reprimands your son or daughter may have, he is a human being who should be respected, Even if their behavior is “uncomfortable”. It’s normal for this kind of behavior to be part of your stock repertoire, and venting your anger with them for just doing so is totally counterproductive.
Be more patient when your children are teenagers
Adolescence is a complicated stage, because often, when young people go through it, the authority of the parents goes through a crisis of credibility.
Sometimes rebellion and transgression of basic social norms become not only a desirable thing to be a path to instant gratification (do what you want even if it hurts others), but also a positive value (which demonstrates courage and independence, for example
So, it is very common for many people with teenagers to wonder… “how can I have more patience with my children?”. In addition to applying the principles from the previous section, which are also useful in these cases, consider the following key ideas.
1. Do not characterize yourself as someone who imposes
It is important to have authority, but not to impose tasks unilaterally without giving your son or daughter a chance to say what he thinks about these measures.
Take your judgment seriously, whether you’re right or not, And if you’re not right, make sure you understand why.
2. Remember that your job is to educate, not to punish
Punishments are not bad in all cases, but they should only be applied when it is really clear that there is no willingness to cooperate, and always making it clear why they are being applied. Of course, corporal punishment is excluded.
You might be interested in: “The 8 Reasons Not to Use Corporal Punishment of Children”
3. Share your experiences with other parents or with your partner
If you are not a single mom or single dad, talk about your experiences with your partner, And in any case, you can always count on your friends, the experiences are especially rewarding if they also have children.
Expressing your worries and frustrations is not just about having more patience with your children on a daily basis to find meaning in stressful situations; it’s also good for learning.
- Brooks, JB (2012). The Aging Process: Ninth Edition. McGraw-Hill Higher Education.
- Mohr, P .; Howells, K .; Gerace, A .; Dia, A .; Wharton, P. (2007). The role of the prospect who takes the excitement of anger. Personality and individual differences. 43 (3): 507-517.