Raising children can generate anxiety when children ignore parents’ instructions, or even adopt difficult attitudes when given a cue. This is something that happens a lot and many parents don’t know what to do.
In this article we will see how to educate difficult and rebellious children so that parenthood does not become a painful process for adults and children. In addition, we will also see the importance of correcting these types of behaviors in a timely manner.
Why is it important to correct these behaviors?
Some parents ignore their children’s difficult behavior and mistakenly think that as they get older they will give up these behaviors without their needing to intervene. Nothing further from the truth.
The truth is that if we don’t know how to educate difficult and rebellious children, we are exposed to these escalating behaviors As they get older, it will become more and more difficult to correct these negative behaviors.
Ideally, we should focus on correcting unwanted behavior as soon as possible; significant behavioral changes are more likely to occur when children are in the early stages of social and cognitive development. If we ignore the opposing behaviors of children, then we might be faced with the situation of having a teenager with clearly dissociated behavior.
There is a choice of psychological traits that begins in childhood with difficult behaviors; then in adolescence, these behaviors intensify and become known as dissocial, until they reach their full development in adulthood.
How to educate difficult children?
In the following lines we will see a list of tips on how to properly educate children with behaviors of constant opposition to the norm and rebellion.
1. Discipline with affection
Usually, many people think that affection only succeeds in pampering children, And the truth is, it’s quite the opposite. One can discipline using affection as a basis, the secret is to maintain the proper balance between affection and authority.
2. Avoid corporal punishment
When we hit children for misbehaving, all we are doing is reinforcing the negative behavior in them. We give them reasons to challenge us and we make them disobedient to get out of this dynamic of violence..
Keep in mind that when you hit a child, you are not making him respect you, but you are afraid of yourself, and educating on the basis of fear is never healthy for anyone. Instead of corporal punishment, you can choose to take something important from the child, or if there is no privilege for a period of time.
too much it is important that you explain to the child why you are punishing himThus, he will be able to internalize that the negative behavior he carried out led him to the punishment and thus begins the extinction of this behavior in him. There is no point in arbitrarily punishing without explanation between the two.
3. Avoid laughing at negative behavior
A fairly common mistake that caregivers comment on is taking children’s inappropriate behaviors as fun, or even laughing at negative behaviors in children. Although it may seem harmless at first glance, it’s actually negative reinforcement, Which will hurt us.
If we take children’s rebellion, their reproaches, or their bending of the rules for granted, we will normalize that behavior in them, and then it will be more difficult to make the unwanted behavior go away.
The ideal is to show them that what they have done affects us, And take a serious attitude while doing it.
4. Don’t let disrespect slip away
Some parents or guardians allow children to be hostile to them and do not correct them when they raise their voices or respond poorly. This kind of permissive parenting isn’t healthy for either party either..
If we don’t teach children the value of respect from an early age, they will grow up with the misconception that they have the right to express their ideas in a hostile way and that is okay. This is make children understand that there are adaptive ways to express their emotions, With kindness and respect.
5. Avoid comparisons
Children like to feel special, and meaningful adults see it that way. When we make the mistake of making usual comparisons between two or more children, we generate a sense of frustration in them. Most recommended is focus on the virtues of each of them, Without comparison.
6. Demonstrate unconditional love
The unconditional love we give children is a protective factor against any negative behavior they may have; the right way to do this is to practice positive discipline. Kissing, showing affection verbally and spending quality time with them.
7. Routine help
routines they help children stay in control, And at the same time, encourage them to be disciplined by being disciplined about the things they need to do. It is recommended that we establish a schedule of daily activities with the child and take care to help him accomplish them.
8. Reward good behavior
Just as we must punish bad behavior, it is important to ensure let the child know that we are happy with the way they behave. Prizes don’t have to be items; telling him that we are happy with him and showing him affection at the right time will suffice.
- Castorina, JA and Lenzi, AM (comps.) (2000). The formation of social knowledge in children. Psychological research and educational perspectives. Barcelona: Gedisa.
- Pérez Pereira, M. (1995). New perspectives in developmental psychology. A critical historical approach. Madrid: Editorial alliance.