How to set an example for children: 6 useful tips

Parents are the biggest reference for children, especially when they are very young. They learn to relate to the world through their parents, whose behavior they almost never question.

Children learn everything from their parents, both good and bad. If parents follow the rules, lead healthy lifestyles, and maintain respectful relationships with others, children will learn to do the same. Instead, adults do the opposite, children will learn too.

Knowing how to set an example for children is tricky. It’s not always fair because parents, no matter how grown-up they are, are always human beings who can be wrong. Fortunately, you can be careful and do your best to be a good example for the little ones, an issue we’ll discuss below.

    The importance of setting an example in front of the little ones in the house

    German physicist Albert Einstein, arguably the most iconic scientist in history, said that “educating by example is not one way of educating, it is the only way”. Children learn by imitation, and the first people they copy in their actions, attitudes, and comments are parents and other family members. Example is one of the best tools parents have to educate their children.

    Even if we don’t realize it, every parent sets an example for their children every day with everything they do. Young children are innocent beings, who rarely question what they see their parents do and say, and for them, their benchmarks always do the right thing, no matter what. Every action of parents, no matter how small, has a big impact on their children, especially in the way they organize reality and how they approach others and everything around them.

    With that in mind, before we reprimand our son or daughter, we need to think through and understand that their behavior is most likely due to our mistake. Boys and girls learn both good and bad things from us and it’s ironic that by scolding them we can berate them for something they’ve seen us do more than once.

    We don’t always agree with what we preach, and children no matter how tall they are eventually. It doesn’t make much sense for us to tell them not to lie, not to say bad words, to order their room, and not to yell when we break these rules. Practice trumps theory, and a thousand words are useless if our example is inconsistent with them.

    Therefore, as responsible, mature adults who are in control of ourselves, we need to watch our actions and be aware of our wrongdoing. We have the right to fail, for to err is human, but to correct is to be wise. If we make a mistake, we will have to tell our child, explaining that we did it wrong and that he should not imitate this behavior., that sometimes adults make mistakes.

      How to set an example for children: deduction strategies

      There are many ways to set an example for children. Any correct, ethically appropriate and respectful action with others and rules are good examples of child rearing. We could give an almost endless list of all kinds of actions that will help us teach children values ​​and become good adults and future respectful adults, but we can highlight the following:

      1. Tell the truth

      Many parents truly believe that scolding their children when they lie is the best way to teach them not to commit this transgression. Telling lies is something that is considered unethical in most cultures. About three-quarters of parents say they teach their children that lying is wrong, but virtually everyone admits that they don’t always tell their children the truth.

      It doesn’t make sense for us to pretend our kids aren’t lying if we ourselves are the first not to be honest with them. When they realize that they’ve been lied to, they’ll end up seeing the lie as normal and, since they idolize parents when they are very young, they will think that lying is typical of good people.

      By lying to them, we lose the opportunity to educate certain values. For example, when we are in a supermarket and he tells us that he wants us to buy him a candy, instead of lying to him by saying “I have no money” we can tell him “there is has a lot of things that I would like to buy, but I don’t do it because that way I can save money because we all go on vacation ”.

      While praise is good and encouraging our children is something that will help them with their self-esteem and psychological well-being, we cannot lie to them about their abilities.. By saying that they are better than they really are, we are missing the opportunity to teach them the value of modesty and to understand that everyone has their strengths but also their weaknesses.

        2. Teach them to listen by listening to them

        Many parents do their best to get their kids to pay attention to them, and when they see that there is no way, they end up complaining and saying that their kids are not listening to them. However, how often do adults ignore children? How many times have our children been happy to tell us something and we have answered them with a resounding “no now”?

        It is difficult to get our children to listen to us if it is not the rare times when we do not pay them attention. Although it costs us, the ideal is to take a moment to take care of them and tell them that just then we cannot, but that in a while of course yes and we will have everything. the time they need to tell us what they want to say-bear.

        Like that, they will enjoy our time while seeing that we value their experiences, their opinions and all they have to tell us. By listening to our children when we speak, without ignoring them, we will get them, when it is we who are speaking, to take an interest in what we are saying to them.

          3. Don’t shout

          It often happens that more than once we tell our child not to scream, telling him to scream as loud or louder than him. It is true that patience has a limit, but as parents we must make an effort to keep a cool mind and be rational.

          Fury is contagious and parents are not immune. If we frequently lose our footsteps, screaming and roaring, our children will eventually learn that this is a normal way of communicating.

          As a tip, if you see that you are angry, try to breathe, count to 10 and if nothing works, leave the room until you calm down. Getting a good rest is also important, as not getting enough sleep increases anxiety and reduces patience.

            4. Obey the rules

            We want our kids to play by the rules, but how many times have they seen you parked in a double row? And sit in the reserved bus seats? Laundry pens in your office? If so, of course, you’re not teaching your kids to play by the rules because you’re the first to break them.

            These types of offenses may seem trivial, but in reality they result in we teach our children that it’s okay to break the rules and even break the law. It will be very difficult for you to make your children obey the rules at home if in the outside world you do not follow them.

              5. Take productive hobbies

              Many parents complain that their children are lazy and waste their time with unproductive hobbies. The truth is, no hobby is unproductive, while entertainment, as long as it is healthy, provides us with psychological well-being most of the time. The idea that video games, comics or series are useless and uneducated pastimes is so absurd that it doesn’t not worth wasting time discussing it.

              However, if we want our children to be “productive” and read, play sports or play an instrument, we have to be the ones who start reading, playing sports or playing an instrument. Our hobbies will end up being your most likely hobbies.

              It must also be said that if we do not want our children to be addicted to mobile phones, computers and television, what he does is that we set an example ourselves by moving away from these. media. They can still be used as entertainment, but by restricting the hours of use and also avoiding going over two or three hours a day using them.

              6. Show tolerance for frustration

              It is a fundamental value in the teaching of our children. If you are one of those parents who have been the least bit overwhelmed, I have bad news for you – your kids will be like that, too. It’s Vital It is important that you help your children tolerate the ups and downs of lifewhether it is due to his own mistake or to another.

              If you don’t learn to deal with your emotions in the face of adversity and inconvenience, adults will drown in a glass of water. We set an example by showing you how we stand up in the face of adversity, and no matter how wrong we are, we don’t give up looking for solutions, accepting that there are things that can be changed and d ‘others who cannot. .

              Bibliographical references

              • Alvarez, A .; Alvarez, MA; Canyes, A .; Jiménez, S .; Small, MJ (1990). Development of social skills in children aged 3 to 6 (Practical guide for parents and teachers). Madrid: learning viewer.
              • Buxarrais, MR; Martinez, M.; Puig, JM; Trilla, J. (1995). Moral education at primary and secondary level. Madrid: MEC / Edelvives.
              • Casals, E .; Defis, O. (Coord.) (2000; 2nd ed.). Early childhood education and values. Bilbao: Desclée De Brouwer.
              • Del Carmen, M.; Aguilar, A .; Rodriguez, I .; González, P .; González, MJ; Infants, MR (1995). Values ​​education program for children. Malaga: Aljub.
              • García Moriyón, F. (ed.) (1998). Moral growth and philosophy for children. Bilbao: Desclée De Brouwer.
              • Martinez, M.; Puig, JM (Coord.) (1991). Moral education. Future prospects and working techniques. Barcelona: ICE / Graó.
              • Michelson, L. et al. (1987). Social skills in childhood. Assessment and treatment. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
              • Puig, JM; Martinez, M. (1989). Moral education and democracy. Barcelona: Laërtes.

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