Parents want the best for our childrenAnd in this attempt to give them everything, we can fall into the mistake of not letting them develop as people or allowing them to live life on their own. These behaviors, which can appear as great signs of love and protection, ultimately lead boys and girls not to acquire certain skills to cope with life and which can be useful in their future, when they do not. depend only on themselves.
One of these skills is frustration tolerance, Which is closely related to resilience and the ability of people to cope with less pleasant situations. People with a low tolerance for frustration have serious difficulties controlling their emotions, are very vulnerable to emotional pain, are impulsive and impatient, and have difficulty adjusting to changing environments.
Related article: “What is Frustration and How Does It Affect Our Lives?”
Learning to tolerate frustration is key to children’s well-being
Frustration tolerance is a concept developed by Albert Ellis, a well-known psychologist we discuss in our article “Albert Ellis Rational Emotional Behavior Therapy (TREC)”.
And it is that lasting or tolerant frustration is necessary to face the adversities that life can present or the bad times that we sometimes have to live. Otherwise, we could become vulnerable people in these situations or emotionally dependent people in interpersonal relationships. Sometimes life gives us problems and we need to be able to solve them and repair them instead of running away from them.
When things don’t turn out the way we want them to or the expectations we had in mind are not being met, the frustration which, if not tolerated, can lead to sadness, disappointment, distress, l anxiety and disappointment.
Therefore, to tolerate frustration is to be able to cope with the problems that arise despite the discomfort and pain it causes, which allows it to better adapt to situations and therefore react appropriately. When it comes to educating the new generations, this is extremely important.
- Related article: “Emotionally Mature People: 6 Traits That Define Them”
The keys to teaching your children to tolerate frustration
Fortunately, frustration tolerance can be worked on. In the following lines we give you some keys to be able to educate your children so that they are more tolerant of frustration.
1. Educate with values such as effort
When we educate our child, we must think about the values that he acquires. Maybe we think giving him the best clothes or toys he wants effortlessly is a good dad’s action. However, we must educate him so that he understands that the things he receives are a consequence of his effort. This way you will learn that in life if you want anything you have to fight for it. It won’t always be a gift.
2. Teach him to set and achieve realistic goals.
Frustration often arises because we set irrational and unachievable goals. When we have very high expectations and fail to meet them, we can suffer. Setting and achieving realistic goals teaches us to be mature and rational, and clearly shows us that we need to avoid situations that lead us to feel frustrated and therefore suffer.
3. Be consistent and lead by example
When it comes to educating a child, we must always be consistent with what we tell them, because we are role models for them. If we intend to educate them in values and we ourselves are unable to apply what we teach them, the learning will not take place. Therefore, the way we act affects the way our children develop, as proxy learning is especially important at these ages.
Related article: “Proxy Learning: Watching Others to Educate Us”
4. Don’t give in to rage
Giving in to anger is a way of reinforcing negative behavior and leads a child to learn that they can get what they want just by crying or hitting blames. When we give in to our rages, We’re sending you the message that you can get what you want by doing this, and we won’t give you time to think about the frustration of not getting away with it. Sometimes a little pain is good for learning valuable lessons.
5. Set limits for your child
Children and adolescents must have clear boundaries know how to act. This doesn’t mean that we should be bossy around them, just let them know that certain behaviors have negative consequences for them.
If we give a kid a wide sleeve to do what he wants, he will always go out with his own and therefore not value anything. When you find yourself in situations where things are not going the way you want them to, you will experience a great sense of failure for not having learned from the unpleasant experiences of the past.
6. Help him learn from frustration
Following the previous point, difficult experiences are a great opportunity to learn new thingsBecause although we are often unaware, we also learn from pain. In fact, experiential learning is one of the best ways to learn. Now every time we learn from experience through self-reflection.