How to understand my teenager through parenthood?

Conflicts between parents and adolescents are due, in part, to the difference between the generations.

A technological acceleration has caught the attention of adolescents who seek to feel connected to the world through social networks, games …

Teenagers today have developed skills to use these technologies from a young age, and in some boys this has kind of spawned a lifestyle of staying connected most of the time. . In some cases, they have moved away from prioritizing school activities to stay occupied in this way, and parents’ concern about how to manage access and time without completely restricting the use of these electronic devices is increasing.

This caused conflicts in relationships between parents and adolescents. How to approach them? Let’s see.

    Common mistakes in educating adolescents

    When boys show intolerance and irritability and it hits the whole family, parents sometimes make desperate attempts to improve the situation.

    Here are the most common forms used by parents attending therapy counseling sessions:

    • Impose penalties and limit the use of devices in their entirety (games, cell phones, computers) for extended periods (from two weeks to one month).
    • Scolding with expressions with disqualifying adjectives (silly, cowardly, irresponsible, rebellious).
    • Push, shake.
    • Restrict permits for parties or socializing activities with friends.
    • Assign responsibilities within the house, such as participating in some tidying up and cleaning activity in the house or room.
    • Limit access to the choice of a personal taste and its acquisition.

    Often this does not work for them, and the parents get to a point where their patience runs out and they realize that they can no longer “control” their teenage son.

    Understanding the adolescent from psychology

    When parents come to the psychology consultation, the advice they receive is directed towards certain issues such as the following.

    • Help them start a new way to make changes in communicating with their teenager.
    • Provide tools to ease restrictions imposed.
    • Set new boundaries clearly and with agreements.
    • Guide parents on how to play their parenting role and situate their child’s role by orienting responsibilities according to their age and allowing them to strengthen their development.
    • Teach them to accompany their teenage son on this new path of discovery and self-knowledge to become a young person and later an adult.

    This is why the following points are discussed:

    • Understand that your child is entering a new stage of development that makes him nervous, with the need to be recognized even in emotions, frustrations, worries and the desire to feel a certain independence.
    • To be able to recognize that boys can observe themselves, reflect on their actions and be able to give their own explanation for their actions.
    • Easily recover from conflicts and get on with your business.
    • Recognize that when young people react to defend their position, it is not out of disrespect; they try not to assert themselves in the resolution of their existential conflicts, without success.
    • They try to achieve their autonomy by expressing their moods, and the family is brought to a change of pace and tone when communicating with the teenagers.
    • Understanding how the adolescent begins to live will depend on his personality, how he lived with his parents as a child, and changes in his home environment.
    • Understand how your child feels about their body, size, hormonal and emotional changes, and the beliefs that shape their self-concept and self-esteem.

    Possible center of the problem

    Parents come to the consultation to find help to continue to support the development and training of their children. On the other hand, sometimes the consultation becomes preventive to avoid future shifts in the emotional life of boys. These aspects are important to initiate a process of accompaniment that will strengthen the development of adolescents and guide actions for mental and emotional health.

    Some of the challenges that affect adolescent mental health include the following.

    1. Physical health

    There are diseases that manifest themselves with symptoms of lack of energy, interpreted as laziness or a lack of motivation or the onset of depression; that is why it is important to keep the pediatrician’s visits until this period of adolescence.

    2. The quality of sleep

    Sleep problems can be temporary or very frequent; it is important to look for the causes. They can go through anxieties or worries that are easy to sort out and regulate sleep.

      3. Your diet

      In quantity and quality, power is the key maintain good eating habits.

      4. Your school performance

      At this point, it is normal for them to start showing some variation in their academic performance. This is not alarming as long as they remain within the average that can be given.

      If this change is very marked and unexpected for prolonged periods or if you are absent from school, this is already a matter of attention and concern.

      5. Problems with friends

      The quality of your friends is an important variable to identify if you are experiencing emotional instability in your development.. It is important to observe if he manages to keep friendships and make new friends, if he feels rejected by his group, or seeks friends who do not value or respect him.

      6. Mood mismatch

      Fluctuations in humor are very common at this age. If the changes are very drastic any moment and keep you from talking about it for an entire week, this may be an indication that you might have a psychopathological disorder and cannot handle it. This is where you can seek professional help.

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